3454: Overcoming Rejection to Fulfill Our Dreams by Allison Carmen on Embracing Uncertainty

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[00:01:07] This is Optimal Living Daily, Overcoming Rejection to Fulfill Our Dreams, by Alison Carman of alisoncarman.com.

[00:01:16] And I'm Justin Malek, your personal narrator, reading to you every single day of the year with permission from the authors.

[00:01:22] So for now, let's get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:01:30] Overcoming Rejection to Fulfill Our Dreams, by Alison Carman of alisoncarman.com.

[00:01:38] About eight or nine years ago, I sat down to write a book that I felt deeply passionate about.

[00:01:44] As a mother, businesswoman, and life strategist, I knew firsthand how challenging parenting could be, especially when dealing with the unknown.

[00:01:53] Parents face endless uncertainty.

[00:01:56] Will our children be okay?

[00:01:58] Are we doing enough for them?

[00:02:00] How do we manage when things go wrong?

[00:02:02] How will our children be all right in a world of gun violence, terrorism, global warming, and pandemics?

[00:02:09] The book I wrote, Maybe Everything is Okay, A Parent's Guide to Less Stress and Worry,

[00:02:15] was meant to help parents navigate these uncertainties.

[00:02:18] It offered a mindset called Maybe, a simple yet powerful idea that had helped me in my own life.

[00:02:26] Maybe reminds us that even when things are challenging, uncertainty holds potential and outcomes can be beneficial.

[00:02:34] It teaches us to stay open to paths we can't yet see and find peace in the moment, even in the unknown.

[00:02:42] I was excited to share this idea with the world when I finished writing.

[00:02:46] I truly believed the book could help parents reduce their stress and live more fully.

[00:02:51] I sent the manuscript to my literary agent, Linda Chester, who had helped me publish The Gift of Maybe with Penguin Random House in 2014.

[00:02:59] She was confident in the book, too, and we sent it out to several publishers.

[00:03:04] That's when the rejections started rolling in.

[00:03:08] Publisher after publisher said no, telling us the parenting market was too competitive and they weren't willing to take the risk.

[00:03:17] I didn't have a book deal, but I believed in uncertainty and the power of maybe, so I kept going.

[00:03:23] Despite all our efforts, the book never found a home, and eventually, my agent and I parted ways.

[00:03:30] I continued searching for a new agent and, through connections, managed to get the book in front of more publishers, only to face even more rejections.

[00:03:40] In 2020, I found a new agent for another book I had written, A Year Without Men, a 12-point guide to inspire and empower women.

[00:03:48] We sold the book to Skyhorse Publishing and it was released in 2021.

[00:03:53] They had the right of first refusal for my next book, but they didn't want my parenting book either.

[00:03:58] My agent chose not to represent my parenting book further, leaving me without an agent or a clear path forward.

[00:04:05] All I knew was that the future was uncertain, which meant there was still hope.

[00:04:11] I carried on with my other projects, my podcasts, articles, and writing a new book,

[00:04:17] but I remained determined to get my parenting book published one day.

[00:04:22] Over the years, I kept trying.

[00:04:24] I sent it to new agents, hoping someone would take it on, but I kept hearing the same thing.

[00:04:29] The parenting market was oversaturated, and publishers just weren't interested.

[00:04:35] The power of maybe.

[00:04:37] I talk a lot about the maybe mindset in my work, and this situation was a perfect example of how it sustained me.

[00:04:45] Maybe is about embracing uncertainty.

[00:04:47] It's about accepting that we don't know what will happen next, and that's not always a bad thing.

[00:04:54] Uncertainty holds possibilities.

[00:04:57] Maybe the rejection I was experiencing wasn't the end.

[00:05:00] Maybe there was another path I couldn't yet see.

[00:05:04] Every time I got rejected, I reminded myself,

[00:05:07] maybe this isn't the right publisher, but there's another one out there.

[00:05:10] Or maybe the timing isn't right, but it will be one day.

[00:05:15] It can be challenging to stay open to uncertainty when things aren't going your way,

[00:05:20] but I kept holding on to the idea that maybe there was still hope for this book.

[00:05:25] And then something unexpected happened.

[00:05:28] An unexpected opportunity.

[00:05:31] After years of trying to get Maybe Everything is Okay published,

[00:05:35] Penguin Random House sold the audio rights to my first book, The Gift of Maybe,

[00:05:40] to Tantor Audio, one of the top audiobook publishers in the country.

[00:05:44] It was released in 2023, A Dream Come True.

[00:05:48] I hadn't planned on pitching my parenting book to Tantor, but one day I thought,

[00:05:52] why not?

[00:05:53] Maybe this is the opportunity I've been waiting for.

[00:05:55] With the help of my publicist, Tantor Audio loved the book,

[00:05:59] and after a few conversations, they made me an offer to publish it as an audiobook exclusive.

[00:06:05] After all those years of trying and facing rejections,

[00:06:08] my book will finally be published.

[00:06:12] Why you should hold on to your dreams.

[00:06:15] I'm sharing this story because I want you to know that if you have a dream,

[00:06:19] whether it's writing a book, starting a business, or pursuing any passion,

[00:06:23] don't give up just because the road is challenging or unclear.

[00:06:27] I know how easy it is to get discouraged when things aren't happening on the timeline you want,

[00:06:32] or when people don't seem to understand your vision.

[00:06:35] But just because you're facing rejection doesn't mean your idea is invalid.

[00:06:40] It doesn't mean it won't find its place in the world one day.

[00:06:44] Too often, we give up on our dreams because we don't see immediate results,

[00:06:49] or we're afraid that if it's not happening now, it never will.

[00:06:53] But maybe that's not true.

[00:06:55] In my case, it took nearly a decade for this book to find its way into the world.

[00:07:00] But every step of the journey taught me something.

[00:07:03] Each rejection wasn't the end.

[00:07:05] It was just part of the process.

[00:07:07] And now, looking back, I can see that the timing wasn't right until now.

[00:07:13] I wasn't ready, and the world wasn't ready.

[00:07:16] But maybe is what kept me going, and it's what can keep you going too.

[00:07:22] How to embrace maybe and keep going.

[00:07:25] Every time you get rejected, try asking yourself,

[00:07:29] are you absolutely certain that your dream won't come true?

[00:07:33] The beauty of uncertainty is that we can't be certain of anything,

[00:07:37] including our fears, doubts, and negativity.

[00:07:40] And that means there's always hope.

[00:07:43] Sure, things might not work out to our liking.

[00:07:45] You can think of this as the maybe not.

[00:07:48] But that is just one piece of uncertainty.

[00:07:51] The unknown also offers another side of maybe.

[00:07:53] Maybe the unfolding events are beneficial.

[00:07:57] Maybe we can accept them and still be okay.

[00:08:01] Maybe things can't improve.

[00:08:03] The maybe mindset instills hope,

[00:08:06] motivating us to get out of bed in the morning.

[00:08:09] It gives us enough hope to create new businesses,

[00:08:12] even when the economy is uncertain,

[00:08:14] to begin a new life, even when we are heartbroken,

[00:08:17] or to help us ease through small, unexpected challenges each day

[00:08:22] so they don't linger and grow.

[00:08:24] It also helps us hold on to a creative project

[00:08:27] until the path opens to share it with the world.

[00:08:30] So whatever you're working toward,

[00:08:33] don't give up.

[00:08:34] Keep going,

[00:08:35] keep believing,

[00:08:36] and keep holding on to maybe.

[00:08:39] Because for all you know,

[00:08:41] maybe the best is yet to come.

[00:08:47] You just listened to the post titled

[00:08:50] Overcoming Rejection to Fulfill Our Dreams

[00:08:52] by Alison Carman of alisoncarman.com.

[00:08:56] And I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:11:06] Thank you to Allison.

[00:11:07] I know I relate many articles

[00:11:09] back to my experience

[00:11:11] creating this podcast

[00:11:12] maybe too much,

[00:11:13] but this has been my life's work

[00:11:15] since 2015,

[00:11:16] so it's difficult not to mention it,

[00:11:18] especially when talking about

[00:11:20] our dreams and creativity.

[00:11:22] For me,

[00:11:23] it took almost a year

[00:11:24] before we made enough money

[00:11:26] just to cover the most basic

[00:11:28] of expenses,

[00:11:29] not including paying myself,

[00:11:30] but something kept me going.

[00:11:32] Maybe not exactly the maybe mindset

[00:11:35] that Allison talks about,

[00:11:37] but definitely that sense

[00:11:38] that good things could still happen

[00:11:40] if I just stuck with it.

[00:11:42] There were definitely some people

[00:11:44] who thought it was a strange

[00:11:46] if not bad idea

[00:11:47] and authors who didn't want

[00:11:49] to be narrated and so on.

[00:11:51] Rejection is all part of the experience,

[00:11:53] but we kept going

[00:11:55] and eventually found

[00:11:56] hundreds of authors

[00:11:57] who believed in what

[00:11:58] we were trying to do

[00:11:59] and enough listeners like you

[00:12:01] to keep going every day

[00:12:02] of the year

[00:12:03] while expanding to five shows.

[00:12:06] It's been quite a ride,

[00:12:08] so maybe today

[00:12:09] if you're facing some rejection

[00:12:10] or uncertainty in your own life,

[00:12:13] try to stay open

[00:12:14] to the possibilities.

[00:12:15] I know it's not easy,

[00:12:16] I struggle with it too,

[00:12:17] but like Allison says,

[00:12:19] maybe the best

[00:12:20] really is yet to come.

[00:12:22] That'll do it for today

[00:12:23] and another episode of OLD.

[00:12:26] Have a great rest of your day

[00:12:27] and I'll be back tomorrow

[00:12:28] where your optimal life awaits.

[00:12:31] share this with me.

[00:12:31] Thank you.