2541: The Five Love Languages of Money by Christine Luken on Talking About Money With Your Spouse

[00:00:00] Now at O2. Save your new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra with Galaxy Watch Ultra and 100 GB data volume for 69,99 € per month. And with O2 PayStop, just pay off instead of going on. O2 can do. This is Optimal Finance Daily, Episode 2541. The Five Love Languages of Money by Christine Luken of christineluken.com. And I'm your host and personal finance enthusiast Diana Merriam.

[00:00:28] Now let's get right to today's post and start optimizing your life. The Five Love Languages of Money by Christine Luken of christineluken.com. Understanding the five love languages of money will improve your relationship with your finances and your significant other. You've likely read or at least heard of the classic relationship book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

[00:00:58] It discusses the five different ways people prefer to receive love from the important people in their lives. When one of my mentors mentioned how the five love languages could be applied to our relationship with money, I instantly saw the benefit of exploring this at a deeper level with my coaching clients.

[00:01:16] The Five Love Languages of Money. The Five Love Languages of Money are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Most people have a preference for one or two as their primary love languages. Number one, words of affirmation.

[00:01:38] If your primary love language is words of affirmation, you feel most loved when your partner or other family members tell you they love you and appreciate you. Obviously, your money can't tell you it loves you or that it appreciates how well you take care of it. So how does this apply to money? If words of affirmation is your preferred love language, you feel supported by money when you give and receive communication about your finances.

[00:02:04] You likely enjoy talking about money with your spouse, family, and friends. You look forward to meeting with your money team, your banker, financial planner, and CPA. You like receiving emails from Stripe and PayPal saying that you've received payments. If your partner doesn't like talking about money, it might be a point of contention in your relationship. Number two, quality time.

[00:02:30] If quality time is your primary love language, spending time just being in the presence of your loved ones makes you feel cherished by them. You feel most supported by your money when it stays with you for a while. If money leaves your account as quickly as it comes in, this does not sit well with you. It feels like money is always leaving you. You likely have a desire to keep a higher balance in your savings and checking accounts than the average person.

[00:02:57] You feel secure and loved by money when it comes and stays with you for a while. If your partner doesn't have quality time as one of their primary love languages, it can cause disagreements over spending versus saving in your relationship. Number three, physical touch. If physical touch is your primary love language, you're a hugger and probably an amazing one. You feel most loved when your partner kisses you, hugs you, and holds your hand in public.

[00:03:26] If this is you, you need to get in touch with your money, literally. You feel most abundant when you have cash in your wallet. You might enjoy counting and organizing your money. Maybe you still write physical checks and keep a checkbook. Making purchases with cash feels more satisfying to you than swiping a debit or credit card. Some people with a preference for physical touch collect gold, silver, and rare coins.

[00:03:53] If your partner doesn't understand your need to be in physical contact with money, they might tease you about being old-fashioned. Your use of cash might annoy them because it's not as easy to track and classify as digital transactions. Number four, acts of service. If acts of service is your primary love language, you feel most loved when your partner, friends, or family members do things for you that either take a chore off your plate or pamper you.

[00:04:22] When your spouse washes the dishes, even though it's your turn, or rubs your feet after a long day, you're delighted. When it comes to money, you feel most supported by it when you have enough to pay for services that make your life easier. You feel prosperous when you've got money to hire a house cleaner, a lawn care company, or someone to run errands for you. Spending money on people who pamper you with manicures and massages might be a priority for you.

[00:04:50] It's important to make room in your spending plan so money can support you in this way. If your partner doesn't have acts of service as their primary love language, he or she might see this type of spending as wasteful. Why would you spend money on something you can do yourself? And number five, receiving gifts. If receiving gifts is your primary love language, you simply adore gifts of all kinds. You love birthday and Christmas celebrations.

[00:05:19] Not only do you enjoy receiving gifts, you probably love shopping, wrapping, and giving gifts to others. You're most delighted by the things and experiences, like a family vacation, that money can buy. You feel prosperous, not because of your bank balance, but because there's enough money to pay for the things and experiences you want. Maybe like me, you enjoy shopping online because it feels like the Amazon delivery person is Santa leaving gifts on your porch.

[00:05:48] Be sure to allocate a reasonable, but not excessive amount of money in your spending plan for the things and experiences you want. If your spouse or partner doesn't realize your preference for receiving gifts, they might chastise you for being materialistic or argue with you over spending, even if you're meeting your saving and investing goals. Now that you know the five love languages of money, you can begin to implement the suggestions here to honor both your relationship to money

[00:06:17] and your partner's relationship to money. You just listened to the post titled The Five Love Languages of Money by Christine Lucan of christinelucan.com. Did you know that only 8% of people will stick with their New Year's resolutions all year long? Well, there's one financial resolution you could actually stick to because it happens automatically. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. And Acorns makes it easy to start

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[00:08:41] Go to rocketmoney.com slash OFD today. That's rocketmoney.com slash OFD. Rocketmoney.com slash OFD. I've heard of the five love languages, but I've never seen them applied to money, so I thought today's article was interesting. I'm not sure they completely align for me as described here, but it's an interesting thought exercise. For example, my relationship love language is acts of service,

[00:09:09] but I also don't really enjoy spending money on things I think I should be doing myself, like cleaning. There are certainly exceptions to this. Recently, I hired a bookkeeper, and this has felt like money well spent. At first, I hired her to just set me up on QuickBooks, but once I realized that there was more of a learning curve to QuickBooks than I anticipated, and she would only charge me $80 per month to handle it, it was a no-brainer. I think my money love language

[00:09:38] would be quality time, not just in holding on to money, but spending it in ways that allow me to spend quality time with other people. This is reflected in the various events I go to, like Camp 5, FinCon, and various conferences. I also enjoy spending on vacations that allow me to bond with my family and create memories. I think this thought exercise is helpful because it's another way to make sure how your spending money aligns with your values.

[00:10:07] But that should do it for another edition of Optimal Finance Daily. I'll be back tomorrow as usual, so I'll see you there on the Wednesday show, where your optimal life awaits.