2679: 10 Money Questions Every Couple Must Answer by Christina Browning of Our Rich Journey

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[00:00:54] This is Optimal Finance Daily, Episode 2679. 10 Money Questions Every Couple Must Answer by Christina Browning of RRichJourney.com

[00:01:04] And I'm your host and personal finance enthusiast, Diana Merriam. Now let's get right to it as we optimize your life.

[00:01:12] 10 Money Questions Every Couple Must Answer by Christina Browning of RRichJourney.com

[00:01:22] Today, I want to talk about love and money, namely how to properly pursue financial independence as a couple.

[00:01:30] Because whether you like it or not, your partner's money habits will affect your journey to financial independence.

[00:01:36] This is why I want to share something more personal than usual. I want to share everything that Aman and I have learned as a couple with over 15 years of marriage and making financial decisions as a couple.

[00:01:48] I've condensed those life and love lessons into 10 important questions every couple should ask each other on their journey to financial independence.

[00:01:58] But first, let's establish some ground rules.

[00:02:02] Ground Rules.

[00:02:04] Ground Rule Number One These questions are specifically for couples in this serious stages of their relationships. That is, people in long-term relationships.

[00:02:14] In other words, these aren't exactly questions you should be asking a recent Tinder match after two dates.

[00:02:21] Ground Rule Number Two

[00:02:23] I believe these questions should be asked all at once. You should sit down with your partner and go through all 10 questions together.

[00:02:30] Where and when you do it is up to you.

[00:02:33] Ground Rule Number Three

[00:02:35] You should document both you and your partner's answers to each question.

[00:02:39] You can record these in a journal with the understanding that both of you can change your answers in the future if you choose.

[00:02:47] Ground Rule Number Four

[00:02:49] There are no right or wrong answers.

[00:02:52] You and your partner may not agree on everything, but understand that working through conflicts and coming to an understanding is more important.

[00:03:00] For example, if your partner wants to buy a new car every five years and you want to buy a used car, you need to come to a resolution that will suit you both, such as buying a new car every 10 years instead.

[00:03:13] And ground rule number five

[00:03:16] Please remember it that I'm not a relationship counselor.

[00:03:19] Maybe issues in your relationship that affect this conversation negatively, which may be symptoms of a bigger problem.

[00:03:26] If you think this is the case, put these questions aside until you've resolved them.

[00:03:31] Now let's get to the questions.

[00:03:33] Number One

[00:03:34] What's your policy on loaning money to relatives?

[00:03:38] To dig even deeper, another good follow-up would be, are you supporting or do you plan to support any family members?

[00:03:46] This question may not be the most important, but it's a good way of gauging your partner's expectations.

[00:03:52] It can also be a source of conflict for a lot of couples.

[00:03:56] This can be a deal breaker for many, so it has to be addressed head on.

[00:04:00] Number Two

[00:04:02] How much money have you saved?

[00:04:04] This is such an important question, and some couples stay together for decades without ironing this out.

[00:04:10] When you talk about this, it's really important that you're open and honest because how you feel with money in a relationship depends on trust.

[00:04:18] This question is a great opportunity to build more trust in your relationship.

[00:04:23] Number Three

[00:04:25] How much debt do you have?

[00:04:27] A lot of couples don't want to talk about debt until it's too late.

[00:04:30] This might be when you want to buy a car or house.

[00:04:34] It's best to talk about these things early in the relationship because it can often be a shock when someone doesn't know that their partner is in debt and can negatively affect the relationship.

[00:04:44] Number Four

[00:04:46] Are you comfortable investing or is it you prefer to keep your money in the bank?

[00:04:51] When it comes to investing, some people believe in the stock market or some other form of investing, and others stay away, often because they see investing as a form of gambling.

[00:05:01] But I believe that the best way to grow wealth and a relationship is to invest.

[00:05:06] You might agree with that, but if your partner doesn't, this might lead to financial conflict.

[00:05:12] Number Five

[00:05:13] Are you a saver or a spender?

[00:05:16] The hard truth is that two big spenders generally won't achieve financial independence, and two big savers generally will, but they should try to have some fun on the journey.

[00:05:26] At the same time, if one person is a saver and the other is a spender, a deeper conversation needs to be had.

[00:05:33] You and your partner need to find a common ground about spending and saving that you can both agree on.

[00:05:39] Number Six

[00:05:40] How do you feel about merging finances once we're married?

[00:05:44] This question has a lot to do with the question about how much your partner has saved.

[00:05:48] Because if you've saved $200,000 and your partner has only saved $200, you may not want to merge your finances if you're the only one bringing anything to the relationship.

[00:05:59] Or maybe you do.

[00:06:01] Either way is fine, but you need to talk about it first.

[00:06:04] That way there are no surprises or resentment when it's time to have that conversation.

[00:06:09] Number Seven

[00:06:10] Do you have a budget?

[00:06:11] And can I see it?

[00:06:13] Seeing your partner's budget is important.

[00:06:16] You want to see where their money is going, what they spend it on and what they save it on.

[00:06:20] You can learn a lot about your partner's financial habits from their budget.

[00:06:24] And remember, it's not just you looking, you have to share your budget with your partner also.

[00:06:29] See how your budgets line up, compare how you each prioritize line items within your budget, and identify that common ground if there is one.

[00:06:38] Number Eight

[00:06:39] Will you support me if I choose not to work?

[00:06:43] This can also apply if you choose to pursue a passion that only results in a small income.

[00:06:48] This is a great question because it's not just about money but also about teamwork and equality.

[00:06:53] Not every relationship is going to be equal in terms of take-home pay.

[00:06:57] You and your partner may not be working at the same time, and even when you are, one of you might be earning significantly more than the other.

[00:07:05] And in a situation where your partner wants to pursue a passion project over a stable job, are you willing to support them financially and vice versa?

[00:07:13] It's best to have the conversation now if such a situation arises in the future.

[00:07:18] Number Nine

[00:07:19] What type of bill payer are you?

[00:07:22] Talk about how and when each of you pay your bills.

[00:07:26] For example, do you make minimum payments or do you pay the full bill upfront?

[00:07:31] Do you set your payments up for automatic bill pay or do you use another form of payment?

[00:07:36] Do you have trouble organizing your bills? Do you have issues with paying your bills on time?

[00:07:41] These questions are important because they can create a lot of conflict and tension in a relationship.

[00:07:46] How your partner pays bills can have a lot of further implications on your life together, so it's important to talk about it early on.

[00:07:54] And number Ten

[00:07:56] What is your dream? And how do you plan on paying for it?

[00:08:00] It's great to have a dream, but it's just as important to take action.

[00:08:04] A mon and I dreamed of financial independence, so we put together a plan to earn more, save more and invest more money.

[00:08:11] That was how we achieved our dream.

[00:08:13] So talk to your partner about your dreams, your aspirations, and tie that back into the money conversation.

[00:08:19] How are you going to use your money to fund your dreams? And where is that money going to come from?

[00:08:25] So, if you can get through these ten questions with your partner, you're doing big things.

[00:08:30] Most couples don't bother to talk about money until it's too late, but why wait to have these conversations after you get married?

[00:08:37] The questions may be difficult and in some cases you might not like the answers, but sitting down and going through them with your partner can help your relationship and your financial journey in the long run.

[00:08:49] You just listen to the post titled, Ten Money Questions Every Couple Must Answer by Christina Browning of RRichJourney.com

[00:09:00] And I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:11:13] In my own relationship, full transparency and creating habits around monitoring and talking about saving, spending, and investing regularly have been most beneficial.

[00:11:23] We linked all of our accounts up to a service called Monarch Money, and that has made monitoring and managing our finances so much easier.

[00:11:30] We're able to look at all of our accounts in one spot, track our net worth, monitor our spending, and feel more at ease when making financial decisions.

[00:11:39] At last year's Economy Conference, which is an event I produce, we had a main stage speaker named Erica Young talk about managing joint finances.

[00:11:48] In her 18 years as a financial coach helping families get out of debt, she's noticed that many couples want to get on the same page, but they aren't even in the same book.

[00:11:59] Well, it's easy to see conflict when it comes to money and relationships.

[00:12:03] You might need to dig a bit to find commonality.

[00:12:06] Since the way you spend money is a reflection on what you value, getting really clear on what you value as a couple is a great place to start the conversation.

[00:12:15] Then you can start to piece together joint goals and how your money can support the pursuit of those goals.

[00:12:21] While managing money as a couple has its challenges, there are also huge benefits to having a partner so it's a worthy endeavor to figure it out.

[00:12:30] If you'd like to see Erica's full speech, you can check it out now on the Economy Conference YouTube channel.

[00:12:36] And that's a wrap for another Thursday show, have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you back tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.