2867: The Rabbit Hole of Stuff: Why We Can’t Buy Our Way to Happiness by Leah McLellan with Tiny Buddha

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Finance Daily, The Rabbit Hole of Stuff, Why We Cant Buy Our Way to Happiness

[00:00:07] [SPEAKER_00]: by Leah McLellan with tinybutta.com.

[00:00:11] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm your host and personal finance enthusiast, Dianna Merriam.

[00:00:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna jump right into our next article as we optimize your life.

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_00]: The Rabbit Hole of Stuff, Why We Cant Buy Our Way to Happiness by Leah McLennan with

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_00]: tinybutta.com.

[00:00:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Quote, happiness can only be found if you free yourself from all other distractions.

[00:00:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Sol Bello

[00:00:42] [SPEAKER_00]: When I was 20, I bought my first serious piece of furniture.

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_00]: It was a sofa covered in a nubby sort of fabric, a creamy shade of white with tan

[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_00]: and light brown threads woven through that made the modern style seem warm and welcoming.

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_00]: It was beautiful and on that day my sofa arrived, I celebrated.

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I celebrated not only a beautiful addition to my little apartment but also a step into

[00:01:10] [SPEAKER_00]: adulthood.

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_00]: After all, I bought it on credit and I was thrilled that a social authority as

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_00]: important as a fancy furniture store should give me and my waitress job a nod of approval.

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_00]: But my joy was tempered by a sobering thought that felt like a weight on my shoulders.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00]: I can't fit this sofa in my backpack.

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I'd been traveling, working, writing and figuring out life for a few years already,

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_00]: but I still wasn't where I wanted to be and I didn't have the words to express

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_00]: the feeling that I was only vaguely aware of.

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_00]: But I was feeling something and I ignored it.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_00]: Over the next 10 years or so and almost as many living situations, my sofa and I took

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_00]: in a bedroom and a kitchen set along with an entire house full of furniture.

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_00]: A husband too!

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_00]: I had just finally finished grad school and my goal was to write full time as a

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_00]: freelancer instead of part time as I had been.

[00:02:12] [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to write more poetry, teach writing, play my guitar, travel, live my life

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_00]: as I dreamed of living it.

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_00]: The sparkle of shiny new toys pulled me in directions that made my goals almost impossible.

[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_00]: But two incomes suddenly made lots of other stuff possible.

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_00]: A lavish wedding, a big house, complete remodeling and a new patio.

[00:02:38] [SPEAKER_00]: Redecorating, buying just the right outdoor furniture, planting flowers, trees and

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I even built a koi pond with a waterfall.

[00:02:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I taught for a few years, but I was hardly writing and I was losing my focus.

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I was getting confused with too many choices, no planning and too little experience.

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_00]: I struggled with time management and I usually failed.

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_00]: I became a wine expert and drank it far more often than I wrote about it.

[00:03:10] [SPEAKER_00]: I fell into the rabbit hole called stuff.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I'd never had much, but now closets were stuffed with games and skis and skates and

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_00]: snorkeling gear.

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Expertly organized closets promised to restore order, but they sagged with the weight of

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_00]: suitcases and carry-ons, cameras and camcorders and clothes for every situation.

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Tools stuffed a garage and a shed while the finest wine glasses, china and gadgets

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_00]: An enormous 100-year-old piano rolled into place in the melange.

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_00]: The house was bulging and sinking at the same time.

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_00]: I wasn't writing, I was falling apart and I couldn't work.

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_00]: I saw doctor after doctor for muscle pain, chest pain and insomnia, nightmares even.

[00:04:04] [SPEAKER_00]: The hot tub was supposed to help with the stress, but it was just more stuff.

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_00]: There were other problems in my marriage too, serious problems, and I finally gave up trying

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_00]: to get things back on course.

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_00]: And I got rid of the last of the stuff just a few days ago.

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I have other more important things to do than take care of stuff.

[00:04:26] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm a bit older now, a bit wiser, and I'm listening to that inner voice I ignored

[00:04:30] [SPEAKER_00]: so long ago.

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm catching up on what I should have been doing, writing, improving my writing

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_00]: and teaching it.

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_00]: What I wanted to be doing, but couldn't because I wasn't focused.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_00]: It's time to strap on my backpack again.

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_00]: It was never meant to carry a sofa, but my laptop fits just fine.

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm glad I recognized the crazy path I was on while I'm still relatively young.

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_00]: My lessons were painful and I wish someone would have given me a good swift kick

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_00]: and made me look in the mirror.

[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_00]: Why didn't anyone shout?

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Why aren't you writing?

[00:05:04] [SPEAKER_00]: What happened to your goals?

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Focus.

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe I had to learn my own lessons, but I'm not afraid to shout them out now,

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_00]: nice and loud.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Number one, the stuff you can buy is a distraction that won't help you reach your

[00:05:19] [SPEAKER_00]: goals.

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_00]: It's like an addiction or a temporary fix.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: And no matter what you see online, in magazines or on TV shows that promote home

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: and garden ideas or lifestyles, even simple or minimalist lifestyles, remember it's a

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_00]: business trying to sell you products that promise happiness.

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't fall for it.

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Number two, stuff creates a false sense of self.

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm creative and I love beauty, but somehow unconsciously by creating a beautiful

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_00]: home with lots of stuff, I was also fashioning myself into someone I thought I wanted to

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_00]: be, something others wanted me to be.

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_00]: But I was already myself and the path with the least resistance, the path that offered

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_00]: the most immediate reward didn't leave time for the hard stuff.

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_00]: My goals and my writing.

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Number three, stuff can blind you.

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_00]: The friends I made back then are long gone.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I was naive.

[00:06:21] [SPEAKER_00]: And if I hadn't been seduced by stuff, expensive dinners, flowers for every occasion,

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_00]: a huge diamond engagement ring that really wasn't me, I might have seen that my

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_00]: relationship could never work.

[00:06:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I was the poet in black trying to fit into someone else's upscale suburban

[00:06:39] [SPEAKER_00]: lifestyle and there wasn't room for anything else much less me.

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Number four, material stuff keeps you busy with material stuff.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00]: My life plan didn't include all the stuff money can buy, but the money spent

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_00]: wasn't the problem.

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_00]: The problem was that I worshiped at the altar of materialism and I sacrificed myself

[00:07:02] [SPEAKER_00]: and my goals.

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_00]: What's the point of spending time and effort on stuff when it leaves little or no

[00:07:09] [SPEAKER_00]: time for your real goals?

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_00]: And number five, stuff distracts us from ourselves.

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_00]: A solid relationship is created with empathy, love and communication, not stuff.

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_00]: But we nurtured our marriage with home and garden TV or the food network,

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_00]: furniture showrooms and glossy magazines with products that promise the good life.

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_00]: And underneath it all, I just wanted the space to work on my own goals, not

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_00]: another set of China, a new TV or a new gadget.

[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Some stuff is important and there's nothing wrong with buying what you need.

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_00]: But it's all about priorities and the price you might pay for stuff that

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_00]: doesn't support your goals and dreams.

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Think about it.

[00:07:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Are you working towards your goals and the things that truly matter to you?

[00:08:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Or are you down the rabbit hole?

[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled, The Rabbit Hole of Stuff, Why We Can't

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Buy Our Way to Happiness by Lee McLennan with tinybooted.com.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Buy low, sell high.

[00:08:20] [SPEAKER_00]: Buy low, sell high.

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[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_00]: This and other information can be found in the fund prospectus

[00:09:13] [SPEAKER_00]: at fundrise.com slash OFD.

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_00]: This is a paid advertisement.

[00:09:20] [SPEAKER_00]: This post reminds me that if you're not careful,

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_00]: the stuff you own could end up owning you.

[00:09:27] [SPEAKER_00]: The cost of stuff is not just monetary.

[00:09:30] [SPEAKER_00]: It takes up physical and mental space in our lives.

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_00]: We have to maintain the stuff, protect the stuff and replace the stuff.

[00:09:39] [SPEAKER_00]: We spend a lot of time thinking about our stuff,

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_00]: organizing or consolidating our stuff and setting goals

[00:09:46] [SPEAKER_00]: to acquire more stuff in the future.

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_00]: But the way we spend any resource, whether it's our time, our money or

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_00]: our energy is a reflection of what we value.

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_00]: If we value being materialistic, then spending all this time,

[00:10:01] [SPEAKER_00]: money and energy on our stuff makes perfect sense.

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_00]: But most of us don't claim to be materialistic.

[00:10:08] [SPEAKER_00]: We state that we value our family, our relationships, our health,

[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_00]: and having experiences that help us to feel free and joyful.

[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_00]: I've come to realize that the less materialistic I am,

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_00]: the more idealistic I get to be.

[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_00]: I get to have full autonomy over my time and

[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_00]: live a lifestyle that isn't constricted by stuff.

[00:10:31] [SPEAKER_00]: It's a wild thing to suggest in our consumerist materialistic culture.

[00:10:36] [SPEAKER_00]: But questioning our social norms on this topic has been a worthy

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_00]: exercise for me personally.

[00:10:43] [SPEAKER_00]: That'll do it for today and another episode of Optimal Finance Daily.

[00:10:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for listening, and I'll be back with you tomorrow with more.

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_00]: So I'll see you there where your optimal life awaits.