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Episode 2925:
Derick Van Ness challenges readers to stop seeking external validation and start trusting their instincts to make bold decisions. He emphasizes that real success comes from carving your own path, rather than conforming to societal expectations, and highlights the opportunity cost of following the status quo, which often leads to missed financial and personal growth opportunities.
Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.biglifefinancial.com/blog/2018/6/16/stop-asking-for-permission & https://www.biglifefinancial.com/blog/2017/9/4/what-no-financial-advisor-will-ever-tell-you
Quotes to ponder:
"It's ok to be different. In fact, the world NEEDS you to be different. It's how you create unique value in the world and why people love you!"
"Choosing your own path truly is the key to success. It's what has created the best parts of your life, so don't be afraid of it."
"The opportunity cost of seeking too much external validation from the wrong people is that you end up creating a life that isn’t authentic to you."
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[00:00:54] This is Optimal Finance Daily. Stop asking for permission.
[00:00:58] And what no financial advisor will ever tell you.
[00:01:03] Both by Derek Van Ness of BigLifeFinancial.com
[00:01:08] And I'm your host and personal finance enthusiast, Diana Merriam.
[00:01:13] Today, I'm actually reading two articles from Big Life Financial.
[00:01:17] So with that, let's get right to them and start optimizing your life.
[00:01:22] Stop asking for permission. By Derek Van Ness of BigLifeFinancial.com
[00:01:33] One of the biggest limitations I see when I'm working with clients is that they're always looking for outside validation when they make decisions.
[00:01:42] They want to make sure that the choices they make are going to be accepted and approved by those in their social circle.
[00:01:50] They believe this makes them right and it feels safe.
[00:01:54] The reality is that only doing the things everyone approves of is a self-made prison.
[00:02:01] You or your business will never stand out.
[00:02:05] Your results, whether it's financial, social, health, etc., will never take a quantum leap.
[00:02:12] Your life and your performance will be average at best, and possibly worse.
[00:02:18] So how do you avoid the average trap?
[00:02:22] How do you avoid feeling helpless or like a carbon copy of everyone else?
[00:02:27] Simple. Stop asking for permission.
[00:02:32] In other words, you need to learn to trust yourself to make the decisions that are best for you, and those who depend on you.
[00:02:39] That means sometimes people won't agree with you. It's okay.
[00:02:43] If you actually knew what everyone around you believed, you wouldn't find a single person who agrees with you on everything.
[00:02:51] So stop pretending.
[00:02:53] It's okay to be different.
[00:02:55] In fact, the world needs you to be different.
[00:02:58] It's how you create unique value in the world and why people love you.
[00:03:03] If you're a business owner, you've done this before.
[00:03:06] You had a dream and you trusted yourself enough to make it happen.
[00:03:10] However, once isn't enough.
[00:03:12] That one decision likely changed the trajectory of your life.
[00:03:16] But just one powerful moment isn't all that you're capable of creating.
[00:03:21] You can do it on a daily basis and in all areas of your life if you choose to.
[00:03:27] You don't need to eat the same crap as everyone around you if it doesn't suit you.
[00:03:32] Decide what aligns with your goals and eat accordingly.
[00:03:37] You don't need to go to the social engagements that bore you to death.
[00:03:41] Instead, begin planning your own social activities and invite the people you want to hang out with.
[00:03:48] If you're not saving enough money or creating the financial results you want, then stop doing what everyone else is doing.
[00:03:54] Think for yourself.
[00:03:57] Learn about new options and then decide what's right for you.
[00:04:01] Nearly all of my clients have had to buck the system to create the financial rewards they want.
[00:04:08] That's why we work together.
[00:04:10] They've decided that the status quo isn't enough for them and that the system they were handed isn't a fit.
[00:04:17] So they've made the choice to do what is a fit for what they want in their life.
[00:04:21] So stop asking for permission to be successful, fit, rich, happy, and free.
[00:04:28] Decide what you want and then begin cutting your own path.
[00:04:32] It may not sound easy, but compared with the alternatives, it's totally worth it.
[00:04:38] Choosing your own path truly is the key to success.
[00:04:41] It's what's created the best parts of your life, so don't be afraid of it.
[00:04:46] Sometimes your decisions don't work out.
[00:04:49] So what?
[00:04:50] At least you made your own choices and you can continue to learn from them as you grow.
[00:04:56] It's not about being perfect or right.
[00:04:58] It's about being you.
[00:05:00] And when your decisions do work out for you, people will call you lucky and ask how you did it.
[00:05:07] At that point, you'll know that you're on the right path and you can share what actually works.
[00:05:16] What no financial advisor will ever tell you by Derek Van Ness of BigLifeFinancial.com
[00:05:25] I've been in the world of finance, investing, and wealth creation since 1999,
[00:05:30] and I've seen a lot of financial strategies and theories.
[00:05:34] However, what is most mind-blowing to me isn't what financial planners are saying.
[00:05:39] It's what they're not saying.
[00:05:42] Honestly, in most cases, I don't think that financial advisory types are misleading clients
[00:05:47] on purpose.
[00:05:48] It's just that they're so ignorant about how wealth creation really works that they leave
[00:05:54] out the most important concept of all.
[00:05:56] What am I talking about?
[00:05:57] It's called opportunity cost.
[00:06:01] So what is opportunity cost anyway?
[00:06:04] You may have heard the term, but if you don't know what it means, it could be costing you
[00:06:09] big time.
[00:06:10] Simply put, opportunity cost starts with the idea that if you use your resources, in this
[00:06:16] case your dollars, for opportunity A, you can no longer use them somewhere else, opportunity
[00:06:22] B.
[00:06:23] This acknowledges that you missed out on whatever opportunity B had to offer because your money
[00:06:29] had already been allocated.
[00:06:31] So there is a cost associated in whatever you might have done.
[00:06:36] So why does this matter to you?
[00:06:38] Because if you don't consider the opportunity cost of how you grow and invest your money,
[00:06:43] you're likely costing yourself without even knowing it.
[00:06:45] Let me give you some easy examples that I see all of the time.
[00:06:50] Let's say you're contributing money to a retirement plan, but you also have balances
[00:06:55] on higher interest credit cards.
[00:06:58] All you see is that you're investing money, which sounds pretty sexy and savvy.
[00:07:03] What you're not seeing is how much you're missing out on by having to pay interest to your credit
[00:07:09] card company.
[00:07:10] To go even deeper, let's say you're earning 6% in your retirement plan, but your credit
[00:07:16] card is at a 16% interest rate.
[00:07:19] In this case, your opportunity cost is 10%.
[00:07:22] It's actually much higher if you account for fees and taxes, because you're missing out
[00:07:27] on saving the interest you could have never paid.
[00:07:31] The reason this is so incredibly damaging is that not acknowledging the opportunity cost
[00:07:37] would let you think you were earning 6% on your money when you are actually losing 10%
[00:07:44] on your money.
[00:07:45] In other words, you're being completely deceived that you are doing the right thing when you're
[00:07:50] actually losing boatloads of money.
[00:07:53] But that's not the end of your losses.
[00:07:55] It gets worse.
[00:07:57] Once you've missed out on the money you could have saved or made, you no longer have that
[00:08:02] money to reinvest for more gains.
[00:08:04] This means that every dollar you missed is more than a dollar.
[00:08:09] It's the amount that dollar could have earned if reinvested and grown throughout the rest
[00:08:14] of your lifetime.
[00:08:16] The tragic part of all of this is that you don't even know it's happening.
[00:08:20] While you blissfully continue down the road of thinking you're a savvy investor, you're
[00:08:26] actually losing double digits on your money year after year.
[00:08:30] It's no wonder it seems so tough to get ahead.
[00:08:33] So why don't most advisors tell you about this?
[00:08:36] Honestly, most of them don't even know this concept exists, so they can't share it with
[00:08:41] you.
[00:08:42] Beyond that, most of them won't tell you because once you realize the real cost of tying up
[00:08:47] your own money until retirement, you'll probably never buy one of their products again.
[00:08:52] This is a concept that you'll never hear from Suzy Worman or Dave Ramsey.
[00:09:01] You just listened to the post titled, Stop Asking for Permission and What No Financial Advisor
[00:09:08] Will Ever Tell You.
[00:09:10] Both by Derek Van Ness of BigLifeFinancial.com.
[00:09:14] And I'll be right back with my commentary.
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[00:10:49] I think seeking outside validation while doubting our own instincts and decision making is normal
[00:10:57] for most of us.
[00:10:58] It takes some intention to build trust in ourselves and anchor into an internal compass that can
[00:11:05] help guide us.
[00:11:06] Also, it can be very valuable to seek out other perspectives as we're mulling over a decision.
[00:11:13] I think the key is to take it all with a grain of salt and to be really careful about who we
[00:11:20] let influence us.
[00:11:21] So, for example, when I was making the decision to quit my job, I sought the advice of my five
[00:11:27] friends who have an abundance mindset.
[00:11:30] They looked over my financials with me and reassured me that I had enough money to quit my job and
[00:11:36] that I was going to be totally fine.
[00:11:38] I sought counsel from the right people.
[00:11:42] I think we also have to be careful about the various conflicting things we feel inside of us.
[00:11:48] Sometimes when we feel the urge to move in a certain direction, it's hard to tell if that's
[00:11:54] what we actually want or if that's what our society has conditioned us to want or if our
[00:12:01] motivation is driven by fear, scarcity, or a sense of lack.
[00:12:05] This idea of not asking others for permission from the first article today relates nicely to
[00:12:12] the concept of opportunity cost in the second article today.
[00:12:15] The opportunity cost of seeking too much external validation from the wrong people is that you
[00:12:22] end up creating a life that isn't authentic to you.
[00:12:26] But that's it for today.
[00:12:27] Thank you for listening.
[00:12:29] Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you on tomorrow's show where your optimal life awaits.
[00:12:35] Thank you.
[00:12:35] Thank you.
[00:12:35] You




