2925: Stop Asking for Permission AND What No “Financial Advisor” Will Ever Tell You by Derick Van Ness

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[00:00:54] This is Optimal Finance Daily. Stop asking for permission.

[00:00:58] And what no financial advisor will ever tell you.

[00:01:03] Both by Derek Van Ness of BigLifeFinancial.com

[00:01:08] And I'm your host and personal finance enthusiast, Diana Merriam.

[00:01:13] Today, I'm actually reading two articles from Big Life Financial.

[00:01:17] So with that, let's get right to them and start optimizing your life.

[00:01:22] Stop asking for permission. By Derek Van Ness of BigLifeFinancial.com

[00:01:33] One of the biggest limitations I see when I'm working with clients is that they're always looking for outside validation when they make decisions.

[00:01:42] They want to make sure that the choices they make are going to be accepted and approved by those in their social circle.

[00:01:50] They believe this makes them right and it feels safe.

[00:01:54] The reality is that only doing the things everyone approves of is a self-made prison.

[00:02:01] You or your business will never stand out.

[00:02:05] Your results, whether it's financial, social, health, etc., will never take a quantum leap.

[00:02:12] Your life and your performance will be average at best, and possibly worse.

[00:02:18] So how do you avoid the average trap?

[00:02:22] How do you avoid feeling helpless or like a carbon copy of everyone else?

[00:02:27] Simple. Stop asking for permission.

[00:02:32] In other words, you need to learn to trust yourself to make the decisions that are best for you, and those who depend on you.

[00:02:39] That means sometimes people won't agree with you. It's okay.

[00:02:43] If you actually knew what everyone around you believed, you wouldn't find a single person who agrees with you on everything.

[00:02:51] So stop pretending.

[00:02:53] It's okay to be different.

[00:02:55] In fact, the world needs you to be different.

[00:02:58] It's how you create unique value in the world and why people love you.

[00:03:03] If you're a business owner, you've done this before.

[00:03:06] You had a dream and you trusted yourself enough to make it happen.

[00:03:10] However, once isn't enough.

[00:03:12] That one decision likely changed the trajectory of your life.

[00:03:16] But just one powerful moment isn't all that you're capable of creating.

[00:03:21] You can do it on a daily basis and in all areas of your life if you choose to.

[00:03:27] You don't need to eat the same crap as everyone around you if it doesn't suit you.

[00:03:32] Decide what aligns with your goals and eat accordingly.

[00:03:37] You don't need to go to the social engagements that bore you to death.

[00:03:41] Instead, begin planning your own social activities and invite the people you want to hang out with.

[00:03:48] If you're not saving enough money or creating the financial results you want, then stop doing what everyone else is doing.

[00:03:54] Think for yourself.

[00:03:57] Learn about new options and then decide what's right for you.

[00:04:01] Nearly all of my clients have had to buck the system to create the financial rewards they want.

[00:04:08] That's why we work together.

[00:04:10] They've decided that the status quo isn't enough for them and that the system they were handed isn't a fit.

[00:04:17] So they've made the choice to do what is a fit for what they want in their life.

[00:04:21] So stop asking for permission to be successful, fit, rich, happy, and free.

[00:04:28] Decide what you want and then begin cutting your own path.

[00:04:32] It may not sound easy, but compared with the alternatives, it's totally worth it.

[00:04:38] Choosing your own path truly is the key to success.

[00:04:41] It's what's created the best parts of your life, so don't be afraid of it.

[00:04:46] Sometimes your decisions don't work out.

[00:04:49] So what?

[00:04:50] At least you made your own choices and you can continue to learn from them as you grow.

[00:04:56] It's not about being perfect or right.

[00:04:58] It's about being you.

[00:05:00] And when your decisions do work out for you, people will call you lucky and ask how you did it.

[00:05:07] At that point, you'll know that you're on the right path and you can share what actually works.

[00:05:16] What no financial advisor will ever tell you by Derek Van Ness of BigLifeFinancial.com

[00:05:25] I've been in the world of finance, investing, and wealth creation since 1999,

[00:05:30] and I've seen a lot of financial strategies and theories.

[00:05:34] However, what is most mind-blowing to me isn't what financial planners are saying.

[00:05:39] It's what they're not saying.

[00:05:42] Honestly, in most cases, I don't think that financial advisory types are misleading clients

[00:05:47] on purpose.

[00:05:48] It's just that they're so ignorant about how wealth creation really works that they leave

[00:05:54] out the most important concept of all.

[00:05:56] What am I talking about?

[00:05:57] It's called opportunity cost.

[00:06:01] So what is opportunity cost anyway?

[00:06:04] You may have heard the term, but if you don't know what it means, it could be costing you

[00:06:09] big time.

[00:06:10] Simply put, opportunity cost starts with the idea that if you use your resources, in this

[00:06:16] case your dollars, for opportunity A, you can no longer use them somewhere else, opportunity

[00:06:22] B.

[00:06:23] This acknowledges that you missed out on whatever opportunity B had to offer because your money

[00:06:29] had already been allocated.

[00:06:31] So there is a cost associated in whatever you might have done.

[00:06:36] So why does this matter to you?

[00:06:38] Because if you don't consider the opportunity cost of how you grow and invest your money,

[00:06:43] you're likely costing yourself without even knowing it.

[00:06:45] Let me give you some easy examples that I see all of the time.

[00:06:50] Let's say you're contributing money to a retirement plan, but you also have balances

[00:06:55] on higher interest credit cards.

[00:06:58] All you see is that you're investing money, which sounds pretty sexy and savvy.

[00:07:03] What you're not seeing is how much you're missing out on by having to pay interest to your credit

[00:07:09] card company.

[00:07:10] To go even deeper, let's say you're earning 6% in your retirement plan, but your credit

[00:07:16] card is at a 16% interest rate.

[00:07:19] In this case, your opportunity cost is 10%.

[00:07:22] It's actually much higher if you account for fees and taxes, because you're missing out

[00:07:27] on saving the interest you could have never paid.

[00:07:31] The reason this is so incredibly damaging is that not acknowledging the opportunity cost

[00:07:37] would let you think you were earning 6% on your money when you are actually losing 10%

[00:07:44] on your money.

[00:07:45] In other words, you're being completely deceived that you are doing the right thing when you're

[00:07:50] actually losing boatloads of money.

[00:07:53] But that's not the end of your losses.

[00:07:55] It gets worse.

[00:07:57] Once you've missed out on the money you could have saved or made, you no longer have that

[00:08:02] money to reinvest for more gains.

[00:08:04] This means that every dollar you missed is more than a dollar.

[00:08:09] It's the amount that dollar could have earned if reinvested and grown throughout the rest

[00:08:14] of your lifetime.

[00:08:16] The tragic part of all of this is that you don't even know it's happening.

[00:08:20] While you blissfully continue down the road of thinking you're a savvy investor, you're

[00:08:26] actually losing double digits on your money year after year.

[00:08:30] It's no wonder it seems so tough to get ahead.

[00:08:33] So why don't most advisors tell you about this?

[00:08:36] Honestly, most of them don't even know this concept exists, so they can't share it with

[00:08:41] you.

[00:08:42] Beyond that, most of them won't tell you because once you realize the real cost of tying up

[00:08:47] your own money until retirement, you'll probably never buy one of their products again.

[00:08:52] This is a concept that you'll never hear from Suzy Worman or Dave Ramsey.

[00:09:01] You just listened to the post titled, Stop Asking for Permission and What No Financial Advisor

[00:09:08] Will Ever Tell You.

[00:09:10] Both by Derek Van Ness of BigLifeFinancial.com.

[00:09:14] And I'll be right back with my commentary.

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[00:10:49] I think seeking outside validation while doubting our own instincts and decision making is normal

[00:10:57] for most of us.

[00:10:58] It takes some intention to build trust in ourselves and anchor into an internal compass that can

[00:11:05] help guide us.

[00:11:06] Also, it can be very valuable to seek out other perspectives as we're mulling over a decision.

[00:11:13] I think the key is to take it all with a grain of salt and to be really careful about who we

[00:11:20] let influence us.

[00:11:21] So, for example, when I was making the decision to quit my job, I sought the advice of my five

[00:11:27] friends who have an abundance mindset.

[00:11:30] They looked over my financials with me and reassured me that I had enough money to quit my job and

[00:11:36] that I was going to be totally fine.

[00:11:38] I sought counsel from the right people.

[00:11:42] I think we also have to be careful about the various conflicting things we feel inside of us.

[00:11:48] Sometimes when we feel the urge to move in a certain direction, it's hard to tell if that's

[00:11:54] what we actually want or if that's what our society has conditioned us to want or if our

[00:12:01] motivation is driven by fear, scarcity, or a sense of lack.

[00:12:05] This idea of not asking others for permission from the first article today relates nicely to

[00:12:12] the concept of opportunity cost in the second article today.

[00:12:15] The opportunity cost of seeking too much external validation from the wrong people is that you

[00:12:22] end up creating a life that isn't authentic to you.

[00:12:26] But that's it for today.

[00:12:27] Thank you for listening.

[00:12:29] Have a great rest of your day, and I'll see you on tomorrow's show where your optimal life awaits.

[00:12:35] Thank you.

[00:12:35] Thank you.

[00:12:35] You