2988: Don't Let Comparisons Derail Your FIRE Journey by FIRECracker of Millennial Revolution on Financial Independence

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Finance Daily. Don't let comparisons derail your FIRE journey by FIREcracker of Millennial-Revolution.com

[00:00:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Quote, Comparison is the thief of joy. Roosevelt

[00:00:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Clearly, Roosevelt did not grow up with Asian parents. If he had, he would know comparison is joy. A day without comparison in my Asian household is a day without sunshine.

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_00]: In our household, not being compared to a cousin, a friend, a classmate was like not eating, thinking or breathing.

[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_00]: Look at your cousin Iwe, my mom would say. She's the perfect daughter. She never talks back to her mom.

[00:00:45] [SPEAKER_00]: You should be more like your Aunt Chi. She has a really high nose bridge, not flat like yours.

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Our friend's son has $3 million worth of houses and you only have a million dollars and no house. So sad.

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_00]: You will never see my mom happier than when she's berating me on how I failed in all aspects of my life compared to my peers.

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_00]: My head is too big. My arms are too fat. My legs are elephant trunks. My life is sadly devoid of houses.

[00:01:14] [SPEAKER_00]: I grew up comparing myself to everyone else. My brain is just one giant measuring stick.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00]: I'll be honest, this mental measuring stick did not serve me well at FinCon.

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Because everywhere I went, it seemed like I was constantly being bombarded with my shortcomings.

[00:01:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Why didn't I have the insane Alexa ranking of J money? Why wasn't I making $100,000 a month in affiliate income like Pat Flynn?

[00:01:42] [SPEAKER_00]: How come I wasn't optimizing my SEO like millennial money?

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_00]: But as I started to spiral into a vortex of self-loathing, I saw one of my heroes, one of those big bloggers whose stats I would drool over, doing the exact same thing as me.

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_00]: They'd be sitting at a bar lamenting over how they didn't measure up to an even bigger blog.

[00:02:04] [SPEAKER_00]: And that's when the truth dawned on me.

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00]: The people I was comparing myself to were also comparing themselves to someone else.

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00]: The $100,000 a month affiliates want to make a million.

[00:02:16] [SPEAKER_00]: The million dollar affiliates want to make a billion dollars.

[00:02:20] [SPEAKER_00]: And so on and so forth.

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_00]: If you focus on comparing yourself to other people, you will never match up, no matter how well you do.

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Because there will always be someone farther along on the journey than you.

[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_00]: They could have started way before you did and gotten here only because they've had years of a head start.

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_00]: But of course, your ridiculous measuring stick brain conveniently chooses to ignore that.

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Stupid brain, why do you hate me so much?

[00:02:48] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't compare your beginning with someone else's middle or end.

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of comparing yourself to other people, look back at your own journey and see how far you've come.

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_00]: And remember, even though there are hordes of people in front of you, there are also hordes behind you.

[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_00]: They would switch places with you in an instant.

[00:03:09] [SPEAKER_00]: And this is especially true for your fire journey.

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Many readers have emailed us saying they feel defeated when they compare themselves to other people who are farther along in their journey.

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_00]: But here's the thing.

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Becoming financially independent isn't a race.

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_00]: It's not about the end goal.

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_00]: It's not about the fine number.

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Your fire journey is about growth and progress.

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_00]: It's about celebrating all the wins along the way.

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_00]: So don't chase the fine number.

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Chase the thrill of watching your FU pile grow.

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Because we all know that you don't need a million dollars to feel the power of FU money.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Just like how JL Collins negotiated a six-week European trip when he had just $5,000 saved.

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_00]: So celebrate the milestones.

[00:03:57] [SPEAKER_00]: For every $1,000 you save, look back and see how you are now $1,000 richer than you were a week ago, a month ago, or a year ago.

[00:04:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Do that over and over.

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Cherish these wins.

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't get discouraged.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_00]: If you see other people farther along on the journey and want to throw up your hands and quit, just remember, if you don't do it, the time will pass anyway.

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Take my ex-colleague, Luke, for example.

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Luke makes a pretty good salary, around $75,000 a year.

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_00]: He also works on a contract, so he has the option to take three to six months off every six months and go on these mini-retirements.

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_00]: But since we are at the end of our fire journey, he feels like he can never catch up.

[00:04:42] [SPEAKER_00]: So even though he could be saving 50% of his salary and getting richer by $28,000 per year, enough for a six-month sabbatical every six months.

[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_00]: He decides to blow it all in a car, name-brand clothing, and eating out every day, while at the same time working insane hours and complaining how he can never afford to take any time off.

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't be like Luke.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't miss out on your wins just because you're comparing your middle with someone else's end and seeing it fall short.

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_00]: You could be inadvertently missing out on all your gains.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_00]: So the next time you get caught up with turning your brain into a measuring stick, do this.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't compare your beginning with someone else's middle or end.

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_00]: It makes no sense to look at someone at the end of their fire journey and feel bad that you're not there already.

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Would you tell a child to give up on life just because they're not at your level of intelligence and maturity?

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_00]: No?

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Then why would your fire journey be any different?

[00:05:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Other people are where they are because they had a head start.

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't compare your beginning to their end.

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Look back at how far you've come.

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Celebrate your wins.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of constantly looking forward and chasing the fine number, look back and marvel at how far you've come.

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_00]: You're richer than you were a week, a month, or a year ago, and that is worth celebrating.

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Realize there is always someone else farther behind than you.

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_00]: They would trade places with you in an instant.

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't do it, the time will pass anyway.

[00:06:23] [SPEAKER_00]: If you give up, time won't slow down.

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_00]: The time will pass anyway, regardless of whether you pursue fire or not.

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_00]: So in 10 years, would you rather look back and see how much richer you are or be exactly where you are now and be the schmuck that your nearly retired co-worker dumps all their work onto?

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_00]: Becoming FI isn't about the end goal.

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_00]: It's about the thrill of watching your F.U. pile grow.

[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_00]: As J.L. Collins taught us, you don't need a million dollars to feel rich.

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_00]: F.U. money is power.

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Just $5,000 was enough to help J.L. Collins achieve his European travel dreams.

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled, Don't Let Comparisons Derail Your Fire Journey by Firecracker of Millennial-Revolution.com.

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_00]: This article reminded me that part of maintaining a positive mindset about our finances is to not compare ourselves to others.

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_00]: We're all guilty of it.

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_00]: So I, for one, am grateful for the reminder.

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_00]: I recall a time last year where my monthly savings rate was 45% rather than my 60% goal.

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_00]: And I thought about the other people in the FI community who are saving even more than that.

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_00]: I felt bad for a moment for not hitting my goal until I realized how ridiculous that is.

[00:07:49] [SPEAKER_00]: 45% is a fantastic savings rate.

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_00]: While others can provide great inspiration and give us ideas of what's possible with our money,

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_00]: personal finance is a very personal journey.

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_00]: And it's a lifelong journey that we can make way more enjoyable by celebrating every win, big or small.

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I think we also compare ourselves to others in the way we spend.

[00:08:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And some of our urge to buy things is because we assume this spending will make us feel a certain way.

[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_00]: So when you see people spending on things you think you want,

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_00]: you're seeing what it looks like on the outside and assuming it's making them happy.

[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_00]: You can never know another person's inner life.

[00:08:33] [SPEAKER_00]: And many people surrounded by luxury are deeply unhappy.

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_00]: I think the reason is because you can't buy lasting happiness.

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00]: You can merely buy fleeting moments of pleasure.

[00:08:45] [SPEAKER_00]: Many of us witness another person's fleeting moments of pleasure and interpret it as peace of mind.

[00:08:52] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, you can't buy real lasting happiness.

[00:08:54] [SPEAKER_00]: You can cultivate it through the way you spend your time and energy and the people you surround yourself with.

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_00]: And this is where money plays an important role.

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_00]: It can give you more autonomy over your time and energy.

[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_00]: That's a wrap for another Monday show.

[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_00]: Have a great rest of your day and start to your week.

[00:09:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.