3002: The Smart Way to Stick to Habits by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on Overcoming Negative Self-Talk

[00:00:00] Have you ever noticed how a calm mind can really set the stage for a good night's sleep? That's the idea behind our new podcast, Good Sleep. Greg, our host from Optimal Relationships Daily, is here to help ease you into a peaceful night's rest with some positive affirmations. And these affirmations aren't just comforting. They can help ease anxiety and nurture positive thoughts, setting you up for true good sleep.

[00:00:25] So press play on Good Sleep Tonight, because a good tomorrow starts with a good night's sleep. Just search for Good Sleep in your podcast app, and be sure to pick the one from Optimal Living Daily. This is Optimal Finance Daily, The Smart Way to Stick to Habits by Leo Babauta of Zenhabits.net. And I'm your host and personal finance enthusiast, Diana Merriam.

[00:00:52] Welcome back to our Sunday bonus episode. This is where I share an article with you from another podcast in our network. And today's is coming from our health and fitness podcast, Optimal Health Daily. You can find that show wherever you're listening to this. And please do follow or subscribe to the show to get new episodes every day. So with that, here's Dr. Neil with the post and commentary as we optimize your life.

[00:01:22] The Smart Way to Stick to Habits by Leo Babauta of Zenhabits.net. Sticking to a new habit isn't easy. But if you set up your habit change smartly, you can make it stick. Starting a new habit isn't too hard. We often get excited about starting an exercise plan or a new diet or waking up early, for example. But a number of obstacles get in the way of sticking to the habit long enough for it to become automatic. Now here are the usual obstacles.

[00:01:51] One, you lose enthusiasm. Probably the number one reason people fail is that the enthusiasm they feel when they first start the habit, when they're fantasizing about how great it'll be, fades away after a few days or a week. The habit isn't as great as you've fantasized usually. So you drop the habit before you see the benefits. Two, you forget. After the habit becomes automatic, you don't need a reminder. But in the beginning, it's easy to forget if you don't have reminders set up.

[00:02:21] Three, your mind tells you that you can't. When things get tough, your mind says, This is too hard. Or, you don't need to do this. Or, why are you punishing yourself? Or, skipping it this time won't hurt. These are just weaselly ways to get out of discomfort. Four, you miss a day or two and then toss in the towel. It feels good to get a streak going. But if you miss a day or two, you get really discouraged. You feel like quitting because now you have to start all over.

[00:02:52] Five, you get distracted by other things. The internet, for example, is so distracting that you might never do your habit. You have so many choices for fun or easy things to do that the habit seems like a less attractive choice. And six, illness or travel or a crisis gets in the way. Sometimes something comes up that takes priority and the habit gets pushed to the background. Which is fine if you start it again when the illness goes away or you get back from your trip.

[00:03:21] But because you missed it, it's hard to get back on track. So let's figure out a smart system that gets around these obstacles. Addressing each obstacle. Let's address each obstacle one by one before putting it all together into one system. One, enthusiasm. The answer to this is making a big commitment. Let's say you decide you're going to eat carrots at dinner every day. After you lose your vim and vigor for this new diet, you just stop.

[00:03:49] But what if you had a $10,000 bet on whether you'd stick to this habit for a month? You'd forget about your lack of enthusiasm and just eat the carrots no matter what. Other ways to make a big commitment, tell 1,000 people about it and commit to a really embarrassing consequence if you fail. Two, forgetting. Set up five visual reminders and tie it to an existing part of your daily routine.

[00:04:15] For example, every time you take a shower, you might do the new habit of flossing your teeth. So put up signs and sticky notes everywhere. Put your floss on your towel. Put reminders on your phone. Have your spouse remind you and so on. Three, negative thoughts. Don't negotiate with these thoughts. Notice when these thoughts come up and banish them. Don't let yourself fall victim to them. Recognize them for the habit killers that they are and the lies that they are.

[00:04:43] Four, missing a day or two. Set up accountability so that if you miss a day, you get back on track immediately. Figure out what went wrong and address that problem. Have someone hold you accountable for getting back on track. Five, distracted. Remove choices. Don't have any visible choices other than what you want to have happen. Set up a choice architecture. Six, illness or crisis or travel.

[00:05:12] Again, set up accountability so that you get back on track immediately. Have a planned break if needed and start again as soon as the break is over. Let's take these elements and combine them into a smart system for sticking to habits. The smart habit system. If we have a system that overcomes all those obstacles, we'll be more likely to stick with the habit. So, let's put our best practices together. One, start small. Keep the habit very small.

[00:05:42] As small as possible until it becomes your new normal. Just floss one tooth. Just run for a few minutes or get your shoes on and get out the door. Just meditate for two minutes, etc. Two, commit big. Tell as many people as possible about your new habit and commit to them big time. Set up an embarrassing consequence for failing like if you missed two days in a row except for emergency. Three, have a trigger.

[00:06:10] Something you already do daily. Wake up. Go to bed. Take a shower. Brush your teeth. Eat breakfast. Open your computer. Eat lunch. Eat dinner. Arrive to work. Drop the kids off to school, etc. Commit to doing your habit as soon as the trigger happens. For example, if you eat breakfast, then you will run. No questions about it. Four, lots of reminders.

[00:06:35] Have physical and digital reminders around your trigger, near the shower, on top of your laptop, on top of your car keys, etc. So you don't forget during the first week or two. Five, set up accountability. When you commit, ask a friend or group of people to check in on you regularly to make sure you don't slip up. Tell them your commitment from number two that I just mentioned and ask for their help keeping you accountable.

[00:06:59] More than one person is usually best, unless you know for sure that your one person won't forget or let you off the hook. Six, remove choices. If there are distractions or temptations you usually go for instead of this habit, remove them from the picture so that your main choice is to do the habit. For example, if it's time to write, set up an internet blocker to go off during your writing time. Or, if it's time to exercise, give your laptop and phone to your partner and tell them not to give it back.

[00:07:29] Remove tempting food from the house if that's distracting you. Or, commit to meeting someone at the park or gym to work out or run so you won't be tempted to skip the workout. Seven, get back on track. Ask your accountability friends to make sure you get back on track if you miss a day or two. If you do miss a day, let them know and ask for help making sure you don't miss two days. Eight, watch your negative thoughts. Practice noticing when you're making excuses or telling yourself you can't do this.

[00:07:58] And see that they're wrong. Add a but to the sentence. Like, I'm tired but I'll feel better if I do this. Or, I deserve a break but I also deserve to take care of my body with this exercise. And so on. If you set up this smart system and do one habit at a time, really putting your focus and energy into this habit change, you'll be much more likely to stick to it. You just listened to the post titled,

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[00:10:44] That's rocketmoney.com slash OFD. Rocketmoney.com slash OFD. Dr. Neil here for my commentary. I love, love, love Leo's suggestions. In fact, I recently listened to a book by psychologist Dr. Wendy Wood titled Good Habits, Bad Habits, The Science of Making Positive Changes That Stick. And in it, Dr. Wood shares research about how new habits are formed, particularly health habits.

[00:11:12] And much of what she shared is aligned almost exactly with what Leo mentioned in his post. In fact, Dr. Wood once said in an interview that, based on the research she's seen, those that are successful at changing their habits are good at understanding the influence of their environment and any barriers to achieving success. Or as Leo mentioned, removing choices. So instead of blaming ourselves for failure to start a new, healthier habit and making it automatic,

[00:11:42] if we can modify our environment and make it easier for the behavior to occur, it can be quite freeing. Suddenly, the blame is no longer on us and our self-control or our lack thereof. Instead, we may realize that there are barriers that are not related to our willpower that are getting in our way. And so maybe, as Leo mentioned, starting small, maybe to just look at your environment and see, are there any choices that I need to remove to make my new health behavior

[00:12:11] happen more easily? Hopefully, that might be the perfect first step. All right, that'll do it for today. I hope you have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow for the Friday Q&A and where your optimal life awaits.