3666: How I Turned Things Around When My Life Was a Mess by Jen Hayes on Fresh Starts

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[00:00:56] This is Optimal Finance Daily. How I turned things around when my life was a mess by Jen Hayes of jenhayes.me. And I'm Justin Malek. Welcome back to our Sunday bonus episode where I share an episode from a different podcast in our network. Today's episode happens to come from a narration show that I also host, but talking about minimalism, personal development, all that good stuff.

[00:01:23] And that's Optimal Living Daily. If you like it and want to hear more, definitely come check out that show too. Again, that's Optimal Living Daily. But with that, let's get right to it as we optimize your life. How I turned things around when my life was a mess by Jen Hayes of jenhayes.me.

[00:01:47] I turned 27 a couple weeks ago, and it's incredible how much things have changed since my last birthday. My 26th birthday was the worst birthday ever. Why? Because my life was a complete mess. I spent the majority of my 26th birthday sobbing into my pillow. My mom and I had a fight after she suggested that I start shopping at a plus-size store.

[00:02:11] My frustration with my weight, while it was the heaviest I'd ever been, reminded me of how frustrated I was with every aspect of my life. I was underemployed and working at a job I hated. The pay was awful, the benefits were terrible, and my boss was a nightmare. I'd been looking for a new job, but I wasn't having much luck. I'd received a few rejections from companies I'd been really excited about.

[00:02:35] I was terrified that I'd be trapped in a low-paying job that I hated forever. My financial situation was a disaster. My husband and I were living with my parents, but hoping to move out as soon as possible. We had no idea how we would do that with six figures of student loan debt and low salaries. 50% of my income at the time was going toward making my minimum student loan payments. We were continuing to make bad financial choices.

[00:03:04] We had blown a huge chunk of my savings on our wedding, and what we had left was nowhere near enough for a home. We had no idea what to do. I felt lost, trapped, and hopeless. The past year had also been incredibly stressful. Several of my family members had suffered from severe mental health issues, physical health problems, and addiction. Three people close to me had lost their jobs unexpectedly,

[00:03:32] and faced serious financial difficulties as a result. I had helped two of them out financially, even though I couldn't afford it. It was one terrible thing after another. It's crazy how much has changed in a year. Now, at 27, my life is drastically different. I lost 35 pounds by adopting a whole food, plant-based diet and exercising daily. I have an interesting, challenging job that I truly enjoy.

[00:04:00] The pay and benefits are better. My boss is one of the best managers I've ever had. And the job has some pretty neat perks, like a free gym membership and two office dogs. I recently found out that my role is expanding, and I'll be able to take on additional responsibilities. Having a job that pays better is helping with my financial situation, and my husband and I now have a plan to pay our loans off in three years instead of ten. We're still living with my parents, but now that we have a plan,

[00:04:30] there is a move-out date in sight. This gives us hope. Does your life feel like a mess? It doesn't have to be. Here are the steps I took to turn my life around. Number one, create a plan. My biggest source of stress over the past few years has been my student loan debt. When I had no idea how I was going to pay it all off, I felt lost and helpless. Now that my husband and I have a plan to pay our debt off in three years, I don't worry about money as much.

[00:04:59] We live extremely frugally, and we live with my parents. Neither of these things are easy, but it'll be well worth it in three years when we finally have financial freedom. Number two, have some faith and be patient. This one was the most difficult for me. I'm a worrier by nature, and my mind always goes to the worst-case scenario, like I'll never find a good job, and I'll be living with my parents forever. I'm also incredibly impatient,

[00:05:26] and the slowness of the job search process always frustrates me. It will take some time, but it will happen. Things will get better. Number three, take care of yourself. It's hard to feel happy when you're not taking care of yourself. Eat healthy. It is possible on a tight budget. Exercise and do whatever it is that makes you happy and relaxed, like yoga, listening to music, chatting with a friend, reading a book,

[00:05:54] watching a movie, taking a bubble bath, etc. It's also hard to feel happy if you're surrounded by people who make you feel like... Why are you still friends with someone who treats you like garbage? If someone is constantly making you feel terrible about yourself, they don't belong in your life. It's tough when someone actually is a good friend or person, but they're a magnet for drama and problems. Of course you want to help someone you care about, but don't get too wrapped up in someone else's problems.

[00:06:22] If you're always talking about them and their problems, you're dealing with a one-sided relationship. Friendships should be a two-way street. And number four, seek professional help if needed. According to research by the Yellow Brick Program, only 9% of people who are in debt report no mental health issues. Nearly one out of three people with high debt report severe anxiety. Despite the fact that my life is much better now than it was a year ago,

[00:06:52] my anxiety is through the roof. At first, I thought my anxiety had come out of nowhere, but I realized that it has been slowly building for the past two years. I attributed my feelings as a normal reaction to high amounts of stress, but really, it was more than that. When my anxiety came back in full force a couple months ago, I shouldn't have been surprised. I should have paid attention to the warning signs, I should have sought professional help a year ago,

[00:07:18] rather than finally seeking help a couple of months ago when my anxiety spiraled out of control. If you're experiencing anxiety, depression, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, or other symptoms of mental illness, please seek professional help. You are not alone, and you are worthy of help. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but things will get better. You just listened to the post titled,

[00:07:47] How I Turned Things Around When My Life Was A Mess, by Jen Hayes of jenhayes.me. I've tracked my income and expenses since 2010, back when that meant a spreadsheet I built myself and updated every day. I loved it, but I still missed things. Categories changed, and I'd go months before noticing my spending had doubled. Monarch does in seconds what took me hours, and it catches what I never would have.

[00:08:15] Last year, the weekly AI recap flagged that my dining out had crept up almost 40%, charges I'd stop seeing. My financial picture has never been clearer. My favorite part is the AI assistant. I can just ask, can I afford this trip without touching my savings? And get a real answer, not a chart to interpret. It's like having a financial advisor in my pocket. Write your own money story with Monarch.

[00:08:43] Use code OPTIMAL at Monarch.com to get your first year of Monarch core half off at just $50. That's 50% off your first year at Monarch.com with code OPTIMAL. Support for today's episode comes from Square, the system powering what feels like half the places I go. If you've ever tapped to pay and thought, whoa, that was fast, it was probably Square. Payments, point of sale, inventory, payroll, invoices,

[00:09:12] all connected in one system. My favorite bagel spot down the street runs on Square, and businesses that use it just feel more put together with quick checkout, easy receipts, loyalty points I didn't have to sign up for twice. And on the money side, that's what I like. No contracts, no hidden fees, and you can see sales in real time. Sellers using Square online earn 36% more revenue on average. If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools,

[00:09:42] Square helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash OFD. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash G-O slash OFD. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. Thank you to Jen. Going back to point number one, creating a plan. This is something we hear

[00:10:11] on probably all of the podcasts in the Optimal family, definitely on my brother's show, optimal health daily, same with optimal finance daily, and all for good reason. Even if we're not the planning type per se, like me, sometimes writing things down gives us that extra little boost we need that pushes us over the edge to actually get it done. And there's a specific tactic that I like to use, especially when it comes to money goals, which was the case for Jen since she had student loans.

[00:10:40] If you're struggling to come up with a plan or just find yourself staring at a blank piece of paper, try working from a specific end goal and go backwards, breaking it down into smaller steps. So in Jen's example, let's say they had $90,000 of loans. To make it more specific, her end goal could have been to have the full $90,000 paid off in three years. Of course, there's interest there, but let's just assume the balance is $90,000.

[00:11:08] So she could break down that $90,000 into the three years, which would be $30,000 a year. Now break it down further. $30,000 a year divided by 12 months, that's $2,500 a month. That's aggressive. That's rent in Southern California. But if you're living with parents rent-free and they have two sources of income in the family, it's definitely possible. You can even break that down further and make it more manageable. That's around $83 a day.

[00:11:38] Between the two of them, two people, that's $40 each per day. And now we're talking. Again, pretty aggressive to pay it all off in just three years, $40 a day each. But by breaking it down, we can really get a good idea if it's possible and create a plan of saving that $83 a day. Or if it's too much, then revise it. But in either case, like she said, if things are feeling messy, putting in that time to plan could very well be worth it. So something to try out.

[00:12:08] Do try it out. Have a great rest of your day. And I'll catch you tomorrow for the Wednesday show, where your optimal life awaits.