3706: When Life Throws You Curveballs by Julie Morgenstern on Intentional Living

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[00:00:53] And I'm Justin Malek. Welcome to our usual Sunday bonus episode where I share another podcast in our network. Today I'm featuring Optimal Relationships Daily where Greg reads articles covering all sorts of relationships in our lives. So with that, here's Greg with another post as we optimize your life. When Life Throws You Curveballs by Julie Morgenstern of juliemorgenstern.com.

[00:01:23] Parents are constantly juggling responsibilities. Work, household logistics, personal and professional relationships, loving and raising the kids, all while trying to find time for self-care, exercise, hobbies, and a little shut-eye. On a good day, managing this juggling act is a delicate balance. What happens when life throws you a massive curveball? Aside from managing the everyday ups and downs, there are unpredictable and disruptive life events,

[00:01:53] including moving, divorce, illness, job loss, a global pandemic, or the rise of a social movement that can derail schedules and routines, throwing off any semblance of balance you may have had. Often, during these times of crisis, the very first things to go are quality time with your children and for yourself. When life hands you a curveball, your time, energy, and brainpower are eclipsed by a million and one additional things

[00:02:22] that need to be decided, organized, and executed. What's worse, these situations almost always take an emotional toll on you and every member of your family. As a parent, you have the added responsibility of managing your own additional emotional load and helping your kids cope with theirs. With all the additional responsibilities on your plate, navigating curveballs will require you to master two rules that don't always come easily.

[00:02:51] Number one, you'll need to ask for help, accept it, and divvy up tasks with grace. And number two, you must triple down on self-care. These two go hand in hand. Master them, and you'll be able to withstand all the heavy lifting without missing a beat for your kids. Let's break them down. Rule number one, divvy up the labor. No matter how independent and self-reliant you prefer to be,

[00:03:20] dealing with extraordinary circumstances is an enforcing mechanism for all parents to learn to reach out for and accept help. During times of crisis, friends, neighbors, extended family, school contacts, and even your workplace may offer to help. Let them. Make the delegating easy on yourself by preparing a list of tasks that could potentially move off your plate that helpers can pick and choose from.

[00:03:48] Other times, like the present, you may be limited to the manpower of your immediate household. In this case, it can be helpful to lay all your cards on the table, to divide and conquer strategically. I've previously written about a helpful visual exercise, in which you make a note card for each task and chore involved in running your household, including any additional curveball tasks, and divvy them up fairly, allowing everyone to pitch in to help the family.

[00:04:16] In either case, remember to keep your sense of humor. Your helpers may be doing something for the first time, especially if they're children. As a result, it may take them longer or they may do things differently than you do them yourself. Mistakes are bound to happen. But in times of crisis, we can't cry over spilled milk. It's best to thank your helper for their intention and simply laugh it off. Rule number two, take impeccable care of yourself.

[00:04:46] It's hard to be a rock when you feel out of sorts. In order to be in a position to soothe your kids, you first need to soothe yourself. Children rely on adult reactions to help them figure out how to understand and interpret what's happening around them. The way you handle your attitude and emotions will set the tone for the way your child copes. Resist the urge to become all about your to-do list. That will make it hard to slow down and tune into your own emotions

[00:05:15] and gauge how your kids are doing. Instead, take a rest at least once or twice a day. Give yourself a moment to detach from your responsibilities. Take a deep breath and check in with yourself. A five-minute timeout can be a good thing. Setting a reminder on your phone to take a self-care break can help prevent the day from running away from you. Remember, you won't be good for anyone or at handling the crisis at hand if you run yourself ragged.

[00:05:44] Do your best to avoid overindulging in food, alcohol, social media, or other unhealthy escapes. Instead, commit to eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. Build happy moments into everyday life. In times of crisis, you'd be surprised how rejuvenating it can be to simply cook your favorite meal, listen to your favorite album while you tick through household chores, blow bubbles with your toddler in the backyard,

[00:06:12] or have a two-minute dance party in the living room. Curveballs can deal a leveling blow. They disrupt our whole way of life, turning our systems upside down. They bring an onslaught of additional to-dos and a new meaning to the phrase, it takes a village. Whatever unexpected situations life has in store for you, remember, they are made more manageable by getting some help and taking care of yourself first.

[00:06:39] Don't be afraid to rely on your extended support networks and be diligent about carving out time to tune in and take care of yourself. You will be better equipped to handle the situation with grace while helping those around you cope. You just listened to the post titled, When Life Throws You Curveballs, by Julie Morgenstern of juliemorgenstern.com.

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[00:08:01] That's 50% off your first year at Monarch.com with code OPTIMAL. Propel Fitness Water. With Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. Really great work from Julie today. Thanks to her for reminding us of how we can cultivate preparedness in times of distress.

[00:08:30] I love that she's promoted an approach that's slow and steady, encouraging us to create systems and adhere to them each day. And one way to expand upon that, a good addition to her visual exercise with the note card, would be to plan specific actions for specific crises. Now surely you can't predict them too much, certainly not crises like the pandemic. But if you know that something will be coming up soon, maybe the death of a loved one, or something that is bound to happen at some point,

[00:09:00] like a stock market crash, create strategies in advance for how to handle such things. This can be very useful and it can help you stay ahead. Surely this isn't to avoid inevitable pain in some circumstances, but it can help avoid the shock and scramble of accommodating. What will you do if you receive bad news in such and such a place? Where might we stay if we have to leave the house for a little time or a lot of time? Speculating about curveballs like this,

[00:09:29] it does not have to be anxiety inducing, but it instead stands to take away from more pressing anxiety that may occur in the moment. With that, everyone, we're going to get out of here for today. I thank you for being here with me. I hope you have an awesome rest of your day, and I hope you will come back and join me again tomorrow in the Friday show. That's where your optimal life awaits. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.