1988: The Secret to Being Enough by Julie Freidell with NoSidebar on Accepting and Loving Yourself

[00:00:00] Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships, and more. So to optimize your life in other areas, just search for Optimal Living Daily in your podcast app. Now on to the show. This is Optimal Relationships Daily episode 1988, The Secret to Being Enough by Julie Freidell with NoSidebar.com

[00:00:28] Hello everybody and thanks so much for joining once again. I'm Greg Audino and this is the show that's all about helping you improve the relationships you have with yourself and others through the reading of articles that are written by some of the best experts on relationship building. So with that, let's get right into today's post and optimize your life. The Secret to Being Enough by Julie Freidell with NoSidebar.com

[00:00:56] Are you enough in the roles you take on? Enough of a parent, a wife, a husband, a co-worker, a boss, a mentor, or a friend? You are enough. Whoever you are is enough. So is it wrong to want to be more? It depends on what you're trying to become more of. We have to accept where we are and who we are while striving for more and without living in discontent.

[00:01:23] I became a mother two and a half years ago. It was a bumpy road as I entered this chapter of my life because I was very hard on myself. I thought I made so many mistakes with my first little girl and therefore I never felt like I was the mother who she deserved to have. I blamed myself for the neck condition she had, for her having to wear a corrective helmet for eight months, and for having to go through physical therapy. I thought I could have done more to prevent these things. I thought I should have had more knowledge as a mother.

[00:01:53] I used to beat myself up and constantly wish that I could have prevented it. Now, you would never know that we had to try so hard to get her to be able to turn her head 90 degrees to the right, or that we worried so much about her meeting certain physical development milestones. My husband and I dedicated ourselves to helping her overcome her obstacles and did the best we could to correct them. But when we were in the midst of it, I felt so guilty.

[00:02:18] I blamed myself for these setbacks. I blamed myself for not doing a better job with her. I did not feel like I was enough. Now, I see how great I did with her and how I'm still doing a great job with her and her younger sister. As a baby, I helped her learn sign language, nursery rhymes, and yoga. I played with her, laughed with her, and took her on adventures. I've always loved her and cared for her to the best of my ability.

[00:02:46] There was no way I could have done things differently. Children can come with different obstacles that parents must deal with as they arise. That's all that I could have done, and that's exactly what I did. Whether you're a parent or not, it's easy to put ourselves in the box of not enough when we think we should be something different in a certain role we have in life. The reality is, we're already enough. We're enough, and yet it's also acceptable to want to be more.

[00:03:14] If we can strive to do better than we did the day before, while also accepting what happened in the past and moving forward with the knowledge we've gained, we can pursue being more. We already have everything we need to become more. We have what it takes. We're already good enough because this more is inside of us. That's the beauty of becoming more.

[00:03:36] It's always available to us, and we can be confident knowing that each and every day, whatever we bring to the table, with our best intentions, is enough. Find comfort in knowing that you already are enough, and celebrate in knowing that with the right attitude, you can go forward in becoming more of your true self. So, how can we combat that voice that tells us that we're not enough? Number one, notice your small victories.

[00:04:05] What did you do today or this week that you can celebrate? So, maybe you and your kids did not get out of pajamas. They watched way too much TV, and you failed to get any chores done today. But you did get your kids fed, changed, and cleaned, or at least the food wiped off their faces. Did you just hug and kiss them? Did they go to bed feeling loved? This is a talk I have to have with myself some days, so I can confirm that I am definitely enough, and I'm doing a great job. You did a great job today too, my friend.

[00:04:35] Number two, stop comparing yourself to others. You are not that person. There is no way of comparing two different people living completely different lives, no matter how similar their roles may appear to be. Look at yourself and realize you are the only one who can be all of you, and enough of you, and you already are. And number three, love yourself without conditions. Quote,

[00:05:02] If I can get all this done while completing this and looking like this, I will approve of myself. Whatever you enter into the this should not exist when it comes to loving and approving of yourself. Love yourself unconditionally, and you'll know that you're enough. You see, becoming more and being enough can coexist. Keep going forward as you discover more of your talents, as you learn more, and as you explore your passions.

[00:05:28] But don't ever look at yourself and make up conditions that are required for you to be enough. As you are, just being, you are enough. You just listened to the post titled, The Secret to Being Enough, by Julie Friedel, with nosidebar.com And thank you so much to Julie for this great post, and a great reminder that we all need from time to time, I think.

[00:05:56] And in addition to following the steps she provided, it's my hope for you that you can also make time and space to acknowledge the opportunity that lies in not feeling like enough. And that is to create more self-love. Self-love can be difficult to come by for some people, whether by default or just during certain phases of life. And we often speak about the many gifts that we're able to extract from difficult seasons or hard situations.

[00:06:22] And should you be feeling like you're not enough, the gift of self-love is very much on the table. You are being more tested and motivated to find new ways to love yourself than you would ordinarily be. It's a particularly vital time for you to find self-love. So, although it's difficult, see if you can find time to thank whatever it is that you believe in for at least setting the stage for growth. And then do what you can to capture it.

[00:06:50] You might find that you actually have all the tools you need already. But that's going to bring us to the end of another edition of ORD, my friends. Thank you as always for tuning in and doing a great thing for yourself and your loved ones by doing so. Have a great day, and be sure to come back tomorrow for a parenting article. That's where your optimal life awaits.