1991: For Highly Sensitive People, the Holidays Can Be Too Much by Carolyn Riker with Highly Sensitive Refuge on Managing Holiday Stress

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[00:00:30] For Highly Sensitive People, the Holidays Can Be Too Much by Carolyn Riker with HighlySensitiveRefuge.com Hello, everybody, and welcome back to ORD with me, your host and narrator, Greg Audino. It is that time of year, everyone. Needless to say, the holidays are in full swing, and we know this can be difficult. So today's post is going to offer some space and ideas for HSPs, or anyone really, that is struggling right now.

[00:01:00] Let's jump right into it as we optimize your life. For Highly Sensitive People, the Holidays Can Be Too Much by Carolyn Riker with HighlySensitiveRefuge.com That's by Dr. Elaine Aron.

[00:01:28] The other day, when things were fine, I thought this holiday season would be easier. And then, as if a storm blew in from nowhere, it wasn't. I wasn't doing well. So I asked myself, what happened? Why the grumpiness and extrasensitivity? Is the latter even possible? Why does even the air hurt my feelings? I was surprised by the words I wrote in my journal in response.

[00:01:55] As a highly sensitive person, HSP, and therapist, the holidays are often too much of everything for me. The overstimulation, overthinking, and extra feeling are all very real. Sure, for me, it's super sweet to hear a Christmas carol or two, but not the day after Halloween. And what about Diwali, Hanukkah, and other wintertime celebrations? Why does Christmas take over?

[00:02:22] It sure feels good to wish my friends Happy Diwali and blessings at Hanukkah. But even that gets pushed out of place because there's another Christmas reindeer photobombing the space. As HSPs, we notice all these things. From the loud music, to the non-stop commercialization, to which holidays our friends celebrate. We wear our heart on both sleeves. But we also need to learn how to tuck our heart sleeves inside, where it is safe and warm.

[00:02:51] For highly sensitive people, over-arousal is real. As Dr. Elaine N. Aaron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person, writes, Quote, Over-arousal is the greatest problem for HSPs. And while there's plenty written on stress management, little of it is specialized for us. We need more than a few new techniques. We need an entire lifestyle that suits our trait, and a strong sense of being justified about doing what we need to do.

[00:03:21] End quote. The holidays become a race earlier and earlier every year. Most of the time, the holiday season feels like a movie on high speed, and the expectations that follow supersede the essence of love, connection, and realness that our highly sensitive selves cherish. The commercialism that fills our inbox and runs across our newsfeed, and the stores we visit drone with a heavy ka-ching.

[00:03:47] It's a competition, much like a marathon, to see who can achieve and buy more and last longer. If you're a highly sensitive person, you may feel constantly overwhelmed. Even the elf on the shelf is deliberately performing half-heartedly. So, I pulled back. And that's when the sweetest of whispers spoke to me. What you really need is more time to be with the knitted shawl of quiet and honor your sensitivities.

[00:04:15] How to protect yourself during the holidays. And with that, dear HSP, please recognize you might cry more during the holidays than you normally do. It's okay. Sentimentality and being full of heart? That's you. However, you also need to protect yourself a lot more. Take those naps. Read a book. Listen to music. If Aunt Petunia visits, let her take the kids to the park. Quote,

[00:04:44] You need ample permission to turn off some of your sensitivity to the needs of others. This is not selfish. For example, it could make your partner a far happier person. When you try to behave like a non-HSP and help everyone who you sense needs it, you are bound to succumb to over-arousal. Without taking breaks, this can lead to insomnia, depression, anxiety, and irritability. End quote. That's by Dr. Elaine Aron.

[00:05:13] Remember a time when you felt more centered. Maybe you had some extra time off or a longer weekend. What usually happens is you feel better because you are allowed time to decompress. And in that space, you could be yourself and cherish the time away from the busyness. This is meaningful to you as well as necessary. So please, push aside what pokes, prods, and picks you apart. And instead, listen to the bells of the stars.

[00:05:42] Sip that Irish cream moon. Appreciate the silence from the glow of candles and the flavors of evergreens holding pine cones. Light the menorah. Sip some ginger tea. Stretch under a weighted blanket and let your nervous system recalibrate. Immerse yourself in a nature walk. Turn down the lights and let yourself go inward on a regular basis. Pull out your calendar and mark off quality quiet time. I do this nearly every Sunday.

[00:06:12] And it has sincerely helped me to find balance. As HSPs, we need a steady stream to calm our sensitivities. We need a corner in a room with our favorite books. Maybe there's a desk or an altar with a collection of shells, crystals, and photographs. Maybe you have a table set up with a large puzzle. This is the season where you must cradle and shelter the spirit of what your heart asks of you.

[00:06:39] Make this holiday time a true, holy day. Something holy and just for you. This is not being selfish. As HSPs, we need to wrap ourselves in our daydreams. What works for you and what doesn't? Therefore, take a few moments to re-evaluate what works for you and what doesn't. Self-empathy beseeches you. And when you have some quiet time, ask yourself these questions.

[00:07:08] What takes away your joy and what brings it to you? Who drains your ways and who fills this space with ease? Where can you let go? How can you enjoy what matters to you? Snip. Snip those that tag you endlessly. Remember, there is no obligation to say yes when your heart says no. Listen super close to what really touches you. A few weeks ago, I made a personal list that helps me honor my sensitive ways.

[00:07:37] Most of these suggestions can be sprinkled throughout the year. Call a friend to make sure they're okay. Make eye contact and smile at a stranger. Write a letter to someone who could use real mail. Listen with heart, then pay the musician on the street corner. Bring new and or clean blankets to a local shelter. Donate food and towels to an animal shelter. Donate to your local food bank and or tent city.

[00:08:06] Write a book review for your favorite indie author. Help carry someone's groceries. Offer someone a ride. Listen to a new reader read. Tuck a special note in your child's lunch. Or text your family or friend with an I love you. With that, I wish you a kind holiday season in whatever way you celebrate it. However, remember to honor your highly sensitive self. Wrap yourself in quiet. Keep healthy snackage near.

[00:08:36] Visit your needs regularly. This is your deepest truth. Happy Diwali, blessings at Hanukkah, and Merry Christmas. You just listened to the post titled, For Highly Sensitive People, The Holidays Can Be Too Much by Carolyn Riker with HighlySensitiveRefuge.com And thanks so much to Carolyn, as well as Dr. Elaine Aron for all the insight today.

[00:09:05] We can't let any holiday season pass without addressing how difficult it can be to manage for HSPs or anyone else. And that being said, I think one thing anyone can take from this article is that there is no better time than the holidays to consider how we can be more compassionate, more accommodating, and just generally welcoming of people who suffer in ways that might make them feel more isolated or withdrawn.

[00:09:31] It's the perfect time of year to reflect on different social demands and how they can affect people in ways that we don't understand. And we can try to understand them. And even if we can't totally do so, we can still find it in our hearts to show them love anyway. This effort and willingness to at least temporarily break down the barrier goes a really long way for encouraging a sense of unity on special holiday occasions and beyond.

[00:09:59] But that's going to bring us to the end for today, everyone. I hope this post helps you to feel more composed, more loving, more confident as you go about planning and navigating the holiday season. I wish you the best of luck with that, and I hope to see you again tomorrow for more OID. That's where your optimal life awaits. I might be closer, but there are no parents who reallyôniv A people whom am gemaakt at workingansen andelse VERY. But I think that this is a cool thing thatட wants you to celebrate. And