2118: [Part 2] The S*** They Don't Tell You: 12 Things New Parents Need to Know by Dan Schmidt with Nerd Fitness

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[00:01:03] 2118. They don't tell you. 12 things new parents need to know. Part 2 by Dan Schmidt with NerdFitness.com.

[00:01:13] Hello, everybody. I'm Greg Audino and welcome to the back half of the post we began reading

[00:01:19] from yesterday. There's been a lot of guidance so far. More to come today as well as a really

[00:01:24] nice conclusion. Don't want to get ahead of myself though. Let's jump back into this post now

[00:01:29] and continue optimizing your life. They don't tell you. 12 things new parents need to know.

[00:01:40] Part 2 by Dan Schmidt with NerdFitness.com.

[00:01:44] 8. You Will Worry A Lot. Yes, yes you think, obviously I will worry. No, you don't understand.

[00:01:55] I'm telling you there's a boss behind the door that you don't know about. Is name? The

[00:02:00] worry. Cued the dramatic music. The worry is possibly the hardest and least relenting battle on

[00:02:07] the quest. The worry got me in my early quest days and still continues to reappear along the way.

[00:02:14] What if she dies? What if I die? What if my partner dies? I don't make enough money and never will.

[00:02:21] What if they've got insert any disease here? What if they're trekkies even though I've raised

[00:02:27] them on Star Wars? Team Valor is clearly superior but what if they choose team mystic when they grow up?

[00:02:33] All important questions which will cause worry in any parent's mind. I've yet learned how to

[00:02:39] fully slay the worry beast but I've become better at managing it as many do with time and practice

[00:02:47] but fact is you will always worry so try your best to accept and get used to it.

[00:02:53] You will think they're dying at least a dozen times in their first year. Kids get sick all the time

[00:02:59] and even as they grow they're always preoccupying your mind. They become your top priority,

[00:03:04] always. The other stuff they don't tell you. It's not really that much of a change. You'll still do

[00:03:12] all the things you used to. It gets easier over time. Wrong wrong and kind of wrong.

[00:03:22] Number 9. Your relationship will change a lot. Lifestyle changes naturally occur with having children.

[00:03:30] A loss of freedom and the loss of time together as a couple are challenges for all parents

[00:03:35] and can be overwhelming at times. You're both much more tired, worried and overwhelmed than

[00:03:40] you've ever been before. You realize how much better sleep is then getting it on

[00:03:46] and you're no longer each other's top priority. Children can put a strain on any relationship,

[00:03:52] no matter how strong it is. You'll both start disagreeing more. Please remember that with parenting

[00:03:57] there is often more than one correct way to do something and traps will start arising in the most

[00:04:02] unlikely of places. Jealous your partner goes to work where they can rest while you have to stay at

[00:04:08] home doing a much harder job. But if you're lucky enough to have someone pick up the weird third

[00:04:13] party controller and make the quest multiplayer, your battles are going to be much easier.

[00:04:19] However, your communication and teamwork will always have to be top notch.

[00:04:24] Number 10. Having kids is totally optional.

[00:04:28] Obvious right? I thought so too, until I started speaking at preconception groups for young couples.

[00:04:35] You don't have to have kids because it's the right thing to do or you're getting to that age

[00:04:40] or our parents want grandkids. If you don't want kids, I must say after the week I've had

[00:04:46] totally not a bad choice by the way. Don't have them. Sure, those without kids may think every now and

[00:04:53] then, gee, I wonder what my life would have been like with kids but I guarantee you every parent also

[00:05:00] thinks, gee, imagine what my life would have been like without kids. Don't feel it's something

[00:05:06] you need to do to simply tick off the list. It takes a lot of hard work, time, sleepless nights

[00:05:13] and money. It's okay to not have kids and be happy with your life. If you know it's not for you,

[00:05:20] don't kid yourself. This quest is optional and not devoting an enormous part of your adult life

[00:05:26] to a single quest won't stop you from leveling up your life. If it's the right choice for you,

[00:05:31] it may even help. Number 11, you will change a lot. Your sleep habits are forced to change.

[00:05:40] Your lifestyle is forced to change. Your finances are forced to change and you as a person will

[00:05:47] change too. Expect to become different. Boring, safe, sensible, tired, soft and lame and was

[00:05:56] even worse, you'll love it. You will become way more empathetic. I got a little choked up this

[00:06:02] week by, of all things, a gall-store commercial because you've now got a whole new perspective

[00:06:08] on life. Things you used to be so passionate about will take a back seat. Jerry Seinfeld put it very

[00:06:14] well when he said once a man has children for the rest of his life, his attitude is to heck with

[00:06:21] the world. I can make my own people. To heck with the world indeed, my whole world is under one roof.

[00:06:28] Sure, I still view myself as a gamer, punk rocker, good husband, weekend golf pro and outright

[00:06:34] geek. But above all, I'm a dad and will be for the rest of my days.

[00:06:40] And number 12, you won't be as great of a parent as you thought you'd be.

[00:06:45] Yep, sorry. That does even mean you rebels who are actually taking time to read and listen

[00:06:51] to parenting articles and advice. We all start off with grand ambitions of being number one or

[00:06:57] world's greatest parent, but when reality kicks in, a lot of days will settle for world's

[00:07:03] okayest parent. You're going to mess up, you're going to take a while to get things right,

[00:07:08] and you are certainly going to be that parent in the store one day. I have yet to meet a parent

[00:07:14] who's got it all together all the time, even us experts are just taking it up as we go along.

[00:07:21] As bad as I just made it sound, it's totally worth it. So, have I turned all you nerdy parents

[00:07:28] to be off of having children yet? I sure hope not. We need to be building a better nerdy or next

[00:07:35] generation. I don't want the world to become more like idiotic. In the scheme of things,

[00:07:41] the reason nobody tells you this is because a lot of it doesn't really matter. The smile on your

[00:07:47] baby's face when they first recognize you. The laughter and pure joy they get from rolling around

[00:07:52] on the floor with you. The wonder in their eyes as you do stupid dad magic, their name for you

[00:07:59] being their first word. Creating and shaping a human life, that is the stuff that really matters.

[00:08:07] Yes, choosing to take on the parent in quest instantly increases the difficulty,

[00:08:11] but in terms of the XP and treasure you'll gain, it's so worth it. You'll arise to challenges

[00:08:17] you never thought you could defeat. You'll battle the bosses of teething, feeding, tiredness,

[00:08:23] and the dreaded worry. You'll constantly be switching between hero and villain,

[00:08:28] and even though you may lose a bit of your loot along the way,

[00:08:31] you'll have the best sidekick to share and conquer the lifelong game with. It's messy,

[00:08:37] terrifying, and really bloody tough. It's not for everyone, but those of us currently on the quest

[00:08:44] won't be hitting the reset button anytime soon. You have the most important job in the world.

[00:08:49] You're the boss of leveling up the future, leaving a legacy on this planet and laying big plans

[00:08:54] for a better tomorrow. If you're up to the challenge, rise to it. For them, for you,

[00:09:01] and for the future of the rebellion.

[00:09:07] You just listened to part two of the post titled, they don't tell you,

[00:09:13] 12 Things New Parents Need to Know by Dan Schmidt with NerdFitness.com,

[00:09:18] and I'll be back in just a minute with my commentary.

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[00:11:47] Okay, and a great post from Dan. It's awesome to have it finished now and to have heard all of his

[00:11:53] insights. I really love the way he wrapped this one up. Ultimately reminding us that in parenting

[00:11:58] and in all tough journeys, really. The sacrifices we make are there because of the incredible rewards

[00:12:04] on the other side of them. And mind you, these rewards that he mentions, they touch the soul, right?

[00:12:11] They're more meaningful, more intimate than their sacrifices, which essentially are just physical

[00:12:16] if you look through the whole article. And I always find that that's a good thought to keep in mind

[00:12:21] as we're faced with challenging scenarios and our outer lives are changing because of them.

[00:12:28] I think to myself, how will the rewards affect me? Will they touch my spirit?

[00:12:33] And if they do, the sacrifices are almost always worth this struggle. But that's going to wrap us

[00:12:38] up for today everyone. Thank you so much for coming and listening to this post all the way through

[00:12:42] between today's episode and yesterday's. Have a great Friday, and I'll see you again over the weekend

[00:12:48] where your optimal life awaits.