2130: How Does Your Environment Impact Social Fitness? by Ryan Frederick of Here.life on The Art of Successful Relationship Building

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[00:00:29] Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like

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[00:00:45] Now onto the show.

[00:00:47] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, episode 2130.

[00:00:52] How Does Your Environment Impact Social Fitness?

[00:00:55] By Ryan Frederick of here.life

[00:00:59] Hello everybody and thank you so much for joining me, Greg Audino for another installment

[00:01:04] of Optimal Relationships Daily.

[00:01:05] I'm here with you each day, narrating from blog posts that cover relationship building

[00:01:10] so that you can come to one place to learn all you need to learn.

[00:01:14] And in this article we'll be discussing the intersection between relationships and

[00:01:18] environment, the place in which you live, which is very cool and very niche.

[00:01:22] So let's get to it now as we optimize your life.

[00:01:29] How Does Your Environment Impact Social Fitness?

[00:01:33] By Ryan Frederick of here.life

[00:01:37] Physical fitness is well understood, but what is social fitness?

[00:01:42] As we learn more about well-being and healthy longevity, there is growing recognition that

[00:01:47] social fitness is an essential life skill.

[00:01:51] Social fitness encompasses more than friendship.

[00:01:54] Social fitness is the ability to interact successfully with others, build and maintain

[00:01:59] positive relationships, and adapt to different social contexts.

[00:02:04] It includes skills such as communication, empathy, cooperation, conflict resolution,

[00:02:11] and emotional intelligence.

[00:02:13] While friendships are an important component of social fitness, social fitness extends

[00:02:18] beyond individual relationships to encompass interactions with acquaintances,

[00:02:23] colleagues, family members, and strangers.

[00:02:27] People with strong social fitness are more likely also to be physically healthy.

[00:02:32] Americans have stopped hanging out.

[00:02:35] The problem is that our modern society is becoming less socially fit.

[00:02:40] About 25 years ago, Harvard sociologist Robert Putnam was among the first to

[00:02:45] recognize a societal shift away from social fitness and social capital,

[00:02:50] a term he coined in his seminal book, Bowling Alone, The Collapse and Revival of American Community.

[00:02:57] Putnam chronicles how weekly bowling leagues faded in favor of more irregular

[00:03:02] individual play and its negative impact on the health of society.

[00:03:07] These trends toward alone time, often in the form of digital and

[00:03:11] social media consumption today, have only accelerated.

[00:03:14] In a recent Atlantic article, Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out,

[00:03:20] writer Derek Thompson asserts that, quote,

[00:03:23] if Putnam felt the first raindrops of an anti-social revolution in America,

[00:03:28] the downpour is finally here and we're all getting washed away in the flood, end quote.

[00:03:35] In general, real world socializing has declined for both men and women,

[00:03:40] for all ages, for all ethnicities, and for all levels of income and education.

[00:03:46] The decline has been about one-third over the last 20 years.

[00:03:50] Experts believe that the spike in anxiety and depression is a result of

[00:03:54] a society that is becoming increasingly socially disconnected.

[00:03:58] Role of environment in impacting social fitness.

[00:04:02] Environment plays a significant role in shaping social fitness.

[00:04:06] A place's cultural norms matter.

[00:04:09] These norms dictate acceptable behaviors, communication styles, and

[00:04:14] social expectations.

[00:04:16] Growing up in a culture that values cooperation and

[00:04:18] collective harmony, for example, may foster stronger social skills related

[00:04:23] to empathy and conflict resolution.

[00:04:26] Neighborhood and housing design play a key role too.

[00:04:29] The trends toward larger homes and suburbia have exacerbated these challenges

[00:04:34] as it takes more effort to see people regularly.

[00:04:37] In less dense housing, we have fewer neighbors, and

[00:04:41] even still only about one-quarter of people know most of their neighbors.

[00:04:46] Suggested environment antidotes by life stage.

[00:04:50] Following are suggestions for environmental interventions by

[00:04:53] life stage to elevate social fitness.

[00:04:56] Antidote for young people.

[00:04:58] View universities and work environments through the social fitness lens.

[00:05:03] Choosing a university includes a myriad of factors,

[00:05:07] with social fitness being an important one.

[00:05:09] Questions to consider include how collaborative is the environment?

[00:05:14] How strong is the community during and after?

[00:05:18] Are the profiles of students a match for

[00:05:20] the type of people I seek as friends?

[00:05:22] Antidote for young parents.

[00:05:24] Create in-person rituals with like-minded families.

[00:05:28] In the Jewish culture, Shabbat is observed every Friday night,

[00:05:32] which brings family and friends together.

[00:05:35] It's a ritual that promotes social connectedness.

[00:05:38] Young parents should consider something similar that regularly brings

[00:05:41] like-minded families together for a meal or other activities.

[00:05:45] It can improve social fitness for both parents and kids alike.

[00:05:49] Antidote for empty nesters.

[00:05:52] Critically evaluate the role of your place in establishing social connections.

[00:05:57] Empty nesters can find themselves out of place with kids no longer part of their

[00:06:01] daily routine and responsibility.

[00:06:03] This freedom can inadvertently lead to boredom and alone time.

[00:06:07] Empty nesters should consider being more proactive in creating a new social

[00:06:11] calendar that invests in friendships.

[00:06:14] Moving for greater social connection can be a wise decision,

[00:06:17] in cases where they have less in common with their neighbors and

[00:06:19] community than they once did.

[00:06:22] And antidote for older adults.

[00:06:24] Recognize that aging in place can often mean aging alone.

[00:06:29] Aging in place is a strong preference for most older adults.

[00:06:32] However, this can often mean being in an environment not conducive to social

[00:06:36] fitness, particularly when driving is no longer possible.

[00:06:41] Living in a single family home in the suburbs may result in being alone most

[00:06:45] or all of the day.

[00:06:47] Older adults and their families should recognize this trade-off as they plan

[00:06:51] for the future.

[00:06:53] Give social fitness your time and attention, and value the role of place.

[00:06:58] In the bestselling book, The Good Life, Lessons from the World's Longest

[00:07:02] Scientific Study of Happiness, author and director of the Harvard

[00:07:06] Study of Adult Development, Robert Waldinger concludes that

[00:07:10] the good relationships keep us healthier and happier, period.

[00:07:15] He makes the case for social fitness amidst an increasingly anti-social

[00:07:19] society.

[00:07:20] For every chapter of life, we are best to appreciate that where we live

[00:07:25] can either be a step towards or away from being socially fit.

[00:07:33] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:07:36] How Does Your Environment Impact Social Fitness?

[00:07:39] by Ryan Frederick of here.life.

[00:07:42] And be sure to stick around for my comments after this.

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[00:09:04] And thank you to Ryan, whose website I really enjoy.

[00:09:08] The constant emphasis on geographic location

[00:09:11] and how it impacts all the vital parts of living

[00:09:13] is really cool and unique to me.

[00:09:15] It's nice when we get a chance to share from him.

[00:09:18] And this article is no exception.

[00:09:19] It's a great read.

[00:09:20] It is very wise to be aware of how our environment

[00:09:24] may be pushing us into a certain type of social life

[00:09:26] or lack thereof.

[00:09:28] But my challenge for you is to push back.

[00:09:31] Unless you are truly isolated

[00:09:33] and living in the middle of nowhere,

[00:09:35] there's a lot of opportunity

[00:09:37] to generate socialization on your own terms.

[00:09:40] Don't feel limited to being an attendee

[00:09:42] of what's already offered.

[00:09:44] Instead, create socialization.

[00:09:47] Create clubs, walk down the street

[00:09:49] and introduce yourself to your neighbors.

[00:09:51] Strike up conversations with strangers who are willing.

[00:09:55] Though technology has taken away from our time together,

[00:09:58] if used the right way,

[00:10:00] it can also be a great tool to reverse this trend.

[00:10:04] So use it to your advantage

[00:10:05] and improve your social fitness.

[00:10:08] But that's gonna do it for today everyone.

[00:10:10] Thank you very much for tuning in

[00:10:11] and do think about how this post

[00:10:12] might help you generate better relationships,

[00:10:15] squeezing all the opportunity you can

[00:10:17] out of where you live.

[00:10:18] Have a great rest of your day

[00:10:20] and I'll talk to you again tomorrow

[00:10:21] where your optimal life awaits.