2142: Power of Perspective: A Lesson from My Darkest Moment as a Mom by Lynnette Sheppard with EricaLayne.co

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[00:00:58] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, episode 2142. Power of Perspective. A Lesson from My Darkest Moment as a Mom. By Lynette Shepherd with erikalain.co

[00:01:11] Hello everybody and thanks so much for joining this Friday edition of ORD with me your host and narrator, Greg Audino.

[00:01:18] I'm here with you every single day of the week, reading and offering commentary on articles that address different parts of relationship building.

[00:01:25] And today, we have another one for the parents out there, though I think you'll find that it really does pertain to all of us. So listen closely as we dive in now and start optimizing your life.

[00:01:40] Power of Perspective. A Lesson from My Darkest Moment as a Mom. By Lynette Shepherd with erikalain.co

[00:01:49] Sinking into the chair beside my four-year-old son's hospital bed with a heavy sigh, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, and it threatened to crush me.

[00:01:58] It had been months since he started limping. Back then, I thought he may have fallen and twisted his ankle. He was, after all, only four, and falling was a common occurrence during active play.

[00:02:10] But the limp remained for weeks, getting worse instead of better, and eventually leading us to the pediatrician's office.

[00:02:17] Everything looks good, the x-ray tech told us after reviewing the images of his foot, but follow up with an orthopedist just to be sure.

[00:02:25] Without a diagnosis, it took six weeks to get an appointment with the bone specialist.

[00:02:31] By then, my poor little guy refused to put any weight on his heel and had started twisting his leg in an unnatural position to manage any walking at all.

[00:02:40] Taking one look at the x-ray, the orthopedist saw the problem when we finally sat across from him in his office.

[00:02:47] What did your pediatrician tell you? He asked. He said the x-rays looked normal, I replied.

[00:02:53] This is not normal, he said, pointing to a large black spot on the x-ray that nearly engulfed my son's calcaneus, or heel bone.

[00:03:02] Bone should be white on an x-ray, not black. My heart sank as a tsunami of fear swept over me.

[00:03:09] The short life of my sweet baby rushed through my mind and I braced myself for the worst.

[00:03:15] It looks like an aneurysmal bone cyst, which is a pocket of fluid that has collected inside his bone, the doctor said.

[00:03:22] It's not life-threatening, but will require surgery to clean out the cyst and replace the resulting space with a bone graft.

[00:03:30] I relaxed a little as the words, not life-threatening, soothed my anxious heart.

[00:03:35] The next few weeks were a blur of doctor's visits and preparation for surgery, which all went well.

[00:03:42] But six weeks after surgery, just a few days after this active preschooler was finally able to walk again,

[00:03:49] he developed an infection in his bone, which landed him back in the operating room.

[00:03:54] That was followed by a five-day hospital stay, consults with a variety of other specialists,

[00:04:00] a PICC line for IV antibiotics at home, no walking for another six weeks, more complications,

[00:04:08] and another surgery which led to several additional weeks of immobility.

[00:04:12] I sat helplessly next to his bed in the loneliness of a sterile hospital room, and my heart broke into a thousand pieces.

[00:04:20] He was four years old, living in constant pain and not able to walk for weeks, which turned into nine months,

[00:04:27] and I was powerless to make him well.

[00:04:30] At that moment, I lost my natural optimism.

[00:04:34] I could no longer see anything good about the mountain we were forced to climb.

[00:04:39] It was too steep, too emotionally draining, too much to ask from one little boy and his mama.

[00:04:46] As I was wallowing in self-pity, I got a call from a dear friend who told me about a mutual acquaintance

[00:04:52] whose 14-year-old son had just been diagnosed with a cancerous, inoperable brain tumor.

[00:04:57] His doctors had only given him a few months to live.

[00:05:01] My heart, already raw and tender, was instantly overwhelmed with grief for a boy and his family that I hardly knew.

[00:05:09] My struggle, which was undoubtedly real, felt considerably lighter when I stepped back to look at the big picture with different eyes.

[00:05:17] Eyes of gratitude, eyes of hope, eyes of faith, eyes that saw beyond my trials to the heartache of others,

[00:05:26] and arms that could help lift a portion of their burdens, despite the heaviness of my own.

[00:05:31] That is the power of perspective.

[00:05:34] It feels pain and acknowledges difficulty, but it sees beyond their towering shadows to the faint rays of light in the distance,

[00:05:42] rays that can reach into the darkness and touch a downtrodden soul,

[00:05:46] bringing a welcomed respite from the storms of life, if only for a moment.

[00:05:51] And sometimes, one magical moment is enough to buoy up a troubled mind and change a wounded heart.

[00:05:58] As Andy Andrews so eloquently said in his book, The Noticer,

[00:06:02] quote, Most people think it takes a long time to change. It doesn't.

[00:06:08] Change is immediate, instantaneous.

[00:06:11] It may take a long time to decide to change, but change happens in a heartbeat. End quote.

[00:06:17] Perspective is where change is born. It comes as a result of experience,

[00:06:22] but we can also acquire a healthy dose of its life-altering elixir by observing and studying the lives of others

[00:06:29] and reflecting on how they might apply to our circumstances.

[00:06:33] The next time you're feeling overwhelmed by the challenges of life

[00:06:37] and find yourself lingering too long in the shadowlands of why me,

[00:06:41] try to gain some perspective by asking yourself the following questions

[00:06:46] and then earnestly seeking their answers.

[00:06:49] Six questions to ask yourself when you need perspective.

[00:06:53] Number one, what can I learn from this experience? How can it make me stronger?

[00:06:59] Number two, has anything in my past prepared me for this?

[00:07:03] How can I draw on previous experience to give me additional strength?

[00:07:08] Number three, do I know anybody who has walked this or a similar path ahead of me?

[00:07:13] Could they give me any advice? What can I learn from them?

[00:07:17] Number four, where is my support system?

[00:07:21] Would counsel with trusted friends and family members help me see things in a different, helpful light?

[00:07:27] Number five, where is the silver lining? What can I be grateful for amidst this trial?

[00:07:34] And number six, what role does my faith play in helping me to overcome life's difficulties?

[00:07:40] How can it help me now?

[00:07:42] The road of life is lined with pitfalls, many of which are unexpected and unavoidable,

[00:07:48] but they need not break us.

[00:07:50] Often gaining a little perspective is all that's necessary to turn our trials into vehicles for growth

[00:07:57] and positive lasting change.

[00:08:00] You just listened to the post titled, Power of Perspective, a lesson from my darkest moment as a mom

[00:08:10] by Lynette Shepherd with ericallane.co and I'll be back with my commentary right after this.

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[00:09:51] And a big thanks to Lynette for this post.

[00:10:07] I absolutely loved the way she ended it.

[00:10:10] And I hope you'll keep that list of questions on hand for whenever you're in need of a change of perspective.

[00:10:16] Those self-reflection questions encourage us to look to so many of the right places for guidance within ourselves,

[00:10:23] within our pasts and within our network of trusted people.

[00:10:27] I couldn't recommend that list enough.

[00:10:29] But if I might add one item to it, I would encourage you to think of the most courageous person you can,

[00:10:36] even if that means you have to imagine one.

[00:10:39] Doing this basically forces you to ask yourself,

[00:10:42] If I or someone I know can't find a reason to believe in myself amidst this turmoil, who possibly could?

[00:10:50] What would the most optimistic person in the world, optimistic yet realistic mind you,

[00:10:56] or in my imagination say about this?

[00:10:59] And look, if you don't agree with whatever ideology you think that this person would have, that is okay.

[00:11:05] The main point here is to stretch your mind into a state of possibility,

[00:11:10] thinking outside your limitations and then drawing back until the two meet in the middle.

[00:11:16] So, I'll leave you to it everyone.

[00:11:18] Thanks a lot for showing up today and listening until the end.

[00:11:21] I hope you enjoyed this post.

[00:11:23] And if you did not take anything from it, honestly, I would recommend listening again,

[00:11:27] because especially at that end part, there is something for everyone.

[00:11:30] So best of luck, enjoy your day, and I'll see you over the weekend where your optimal life awaits.