2161: Joy is Best Shared by Ryan Frederick of Here.life on Friendships & Relationships

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, Episode 2161, Joy Is Best Shared by Ryan Frederick of Here.Life.

[00:00:09] Hello everybody and thank you so much for joining me here this weekend on ORD.

[00:00:14] I'm Greg Audino, your host and narrator, and I'm the guy who's with you each and every day,

[00:00:18] sharing content written by relationship experts about how to build better relationships in your

[00:00:23] own life. So what do you say we jump right in today and optimize your life?

[00:00:32] Joy Is Best Shared by Ryan Frederick of Here.Life

[00:00:37] In a recent Amazon commercial entitled Joy Ride, three older women enjoy each other's

[00:00:43] company on a bench as kids boisterously sled in the background. These women are good friends,

[00:00:49] likely longtime friends, as they seem content to just be with each other.

[00:00:54] No need for words. They look wistfully towards the youth, each reminiscing of

[00:00:59] times past when they frolicked in the snow. One of the women has an idea. Using Amazon,

[00:01:05] of course, she orders cushions for herself and her friends, cushions to be used with a sled.

[00:01:12] Moments later, she must have used Prime because the cushions appear in minutes,

[00:01:16] the three women place the cushions on their respective sleds and cannon down the hill

[00:01:21] faster than some of the kids. The tables have turned. Now the kids look longingly at the

[00:01:27] elders who are thoroughly enjoying their Joy Ride with hands in the air and spirited howls.

[00:01:33] Towards the end, there is a flashback with each of the women replaced by her younger self.

[00:01:38] It's the same place and with similar shouts of joy and shared smiles.

[00:01:43] When their ride concludes, the flashback ends but the joy remains. In fact, there is a deeper

[00:01:50] sense of joy as the friends revel in their shared experience past and present.

[00:01:55] The commercial ends with the friends dragging their sleds up for yet another ride.

[00:02:00] Don't put limits on opportunities for shared joy.

[00:02:04] There are a number of lessons from the commercial. One, it's best to not put limits

[00:02:09] on ourselves. There can be a temptation to assume we are too old or too young for a

[00:02:14] certain activity or experience. Too old to swing in the playground or too young to do

[00:02:20] something ambitious like write a book. To be fair, there are legal restrictions or strong advice

[00:02:25] from experts on what may not be wise, but it often doesn't come to that. Instead, we tend

[00:02:31] to put that limit on ourselves. In this story, each of the women should be applauded. The

[00:02:37] leader should be commended for acting upon her idea and her friends for enthusiastically

[00:02:42] embracing the opportunity, disregarding the risks of broken bones. Maintaining friendships

[00:02:48] takes effort. Lifelong relationships don't just happen. They take considerable effort

[00:02:54] over a sustained period of time and through various life stages. There are a fixed number

[00:03:00] of childhood friends one has, and it decreases over time as relationships fade.

[00:03:05] Dutch sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst has showed that we replace half-hour social network

[00:03:11] over the course of seven years. It's particularly sad when lifelong friendships dissolve.

[00:03:16] For this reason, it's important that we choose to stay in touch with our longtime friends

[00:03:21] and by any means necessary. Weekly phone calls, reunions, shared adventures, and more.

[00:03:29] Maintaining friendships benefits from proximity.

[00:03:32] One way to stay in touch with dear friends is to live proximate to each other. Why not live

[00:03:38] next door to your best friends? There's a great article about this entitled, Live Closer

[00:03:42] to Your Friends from the Atlantic. Mitch Daniels, former governor of Indiana and more recently,

[00:03:48] the former president of Purdue University, offers advice to graduates in his 2020 commencement

[00:03:54] speech, quote, geographic rootedness makes a difference. People who live in the same community

[00:04:01] for extended periods are far less likely to be lonely, end quote. He then quotes C.S. Lewis,

[00:04:09] quote, friendship is the greatest of worldly goods, the chief happiness of life. If I had

[00:04:16] to give a piece of advice to a young person about where to live, I would say sacrifice

[00:04:21] almost everything to live near your friends, end quote. If we can't live near our dear

[00:04:27] friends, we are best to get together regularly to experience the peaceful contentment that

[00:04:32] lifelong friendships offer. Peaceful contentment works much better in person. On the phone,

[00:04:38] silence suggests disinterest, something troubling or a dropped call. But in person, no explanation

[00:04:45] is necessary. The closeness of the three women is evident and no doubt abetted by their

[00:04:50] proximity. Joy is best shared. Joy can be a singular experience, soaking in a sunrise,

[00:04:58] hiking to the top of a mountain, observing wildlife. But joy is best shared, even better

[00:05:05] when amongst close friends. Keep looking for opportunities to experience joy and to do so

[00:05:11] in person with others. Sledding is optional. You just listened to the post titled, Joy is

[00:05:21] Best Shared by Ryan Frederick of Here.Life, and I'll be back with my comments in just a minute.

[00:05:28] Okay, and yet another terrific post from Ryan over at Here.Life. I really liked this one,

[00:05:34] especially that reminder of how valuable it is to choose a place to live based on

[00:05:38] friendships in the area. You know, we often develop our opinions about certain areas

[00:05:44] based on the local demographic, right? You know, we might think, what way do most people lean

[00:05:49] politically? Is one religion more dominant in this area? Does everyone here seem to have

[00:05:55] the same interests, the same jobs, the same income? You know, all of these and more,

[00:06:00] they're valid concerns. But it's easy to forget that we aren't actually building

[00:06:04] relationships or even spending substantial amounts of time with everyone else who cohabitates

[00:06:10] the place in which we live. Our true experience of the people around us hinges more on who we

[00:06:17] are with the most and what we do with them. And those people, of course, are those in our

[00:06:21] inner circle, family, friends, maybe some coworkers. So while a place's identity isn't

[00:06:28] made up solely of the people who we might know in it, it is a much larger factor than

[00:06:33] we tend to give credit for. But with that, we are going to wrap things up for the day, everyone.

[00:06:38] Go spend some time with your friends and loved ones as Ryan suggests,

[00:06:41] and don't put limits on it. Enjoy your Sunday and I'll see you again tomorrow,

[00:06:45] where your optimal life awaits.