2194: How to Cut Someone Off: A Guide to Ending Toxic Relationships by Rebecca Crespo of Minimalism Made Simple

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, Episode 2194, How to Cut Someone Off, a Guide to Ending

[00:00:07] Toxic Relationships, by Rebecca Crespo of MinimalismMadeSimple.com.

[00:00:13] Hello everybody and welcome to another episode and another week of ORD.

[00:00:18] I'm your host and narrator, Greg Audino, and thank you so much for joining me today.

[00:00:23] Now let's tune into a post about how to identify and end toxic relationships, complete with

[00:00:28] my own commentary afterwards, as we optimize your life.

[00:00:35] How to Cut Someone Off, a Guide to Ending Toxic Relationships, by Rebecca Crespo of

[00:00:41] MinimalismMadeSimple.com.

[00:00:45] It's never easy to cut someone off, especially if you've known them for a long time or have

[00:00:50] a close relationship with them.

[00:00:52] However, sometimes it's necessary to sever ties with someone, especially if they are

[00:00:57] toxic or abusive.

[00:00:59] In this article, we'll provide a guide on how to cut someone off and move on with

[00:01:03] your life.

[00:01:05] Why You Need to Cut Someone Off

[00:01:08] It's important to re-evaluate your relationships from time to time.

[00:01:12] It's easy to get comfortable or complacent in a relationship.

[00:01:15] But if it's toxic or unhealthy, then it may be necessary to cut someone off and move

[00:01:20] on with your life.

[00:01:21] It could be hard to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship.

[00:01:25] But if someone is constantly criticizing or belittling you, has a negative attitude, or

[00:01:30] isn't supportive of your goals and ambitions, then they may be toxic.

[00:01:35] Signs that you need to cut someone off include, they disrespect your boundaries, they make

[00:01:40] you feel devalued or disrespected, they are manipulative or controlling, they make you

[00:01:46] feel taken advantage of, there is a lack of trust in the relationship, and you are constantly

[00:01:53] feeling drained by their presence.

[00:01:56] Five Steps to Cutting Someone Off

[00:01:57] 1.

[00:02:00] Determine why you want to cut the person off.

[00:02:03] By determining your reasons for wanting to cut someone off, you'll have a much clearer

[00:02:07] idea of the steps that need to be taken.

[00:02:10] It can be helpful to write down your reasons so that you can refer back to them when necessary.

[00:02:15] 2.

[00:02:17] Communicate your decision to the person.

[00:02:19] Once you've determined your reasons for wanting to cut someone off, it's important

[00:02:23] that you communicate this decision to the person.

[00:02:26] You don't need to go into detail about why you're making this decision.

[00:02:30] Simply explain that things are not working out and that it is best if you both part ways.

[00:02:35] 3.

[00:02:36] Be firm and clear about your boundaries.

[00:02:40] When cutting someone off, it's important that you are clear and firm about your boundaries.

[00:02:45] Explain to them what behavior is unacceptable and make sure they understand that it will not

[00:02:49] be tolerated.

[00:02:50] Additionally, make sure you take the necessary steps to protect yourself from any further

[00:02:54] contact by blocking their phone number or email address, if applicable.

[00:02:59] 4.

[00:03:01] Cut off all forms of communication.

[00:03:04] In order to fully cut someone off, you'll need to sever all forms of communication.

[00:03:09] This means unfriending or blocking them on social media, deleting their number from

[00:03:13] your phone, and no longer responding to any emails or text messages they send.

[00:03:19] It also means avoiding any contact with mutual friends who may try to pass along messages

[00:03:23] from the person.

[00:03:25] 5.

[00:03:27] Take care of yourself after the cut off.

[00:03:30] Once you've cut someone off, it's important that you take care of yourself.

[00:03:33] Make a list of activities and people who make you feel good and spend time focusing on them.

[00:03:38] Additionally, don't be afraid to talk to a therapist or other mental health professional

[00:03:43] if you're struggling with the transition.

[00:03:45] How to communicate your decision.

[00:03:48] Choosing the right time and place to talk.

[00:03:51] It's important to choose the right time and place when communicating your decision to

[00:03:54] cut someone off.

[00:03:55] Choose somewhere you both feel comfortable, private, and free of distractions, such as

[00:04:00] a quiet cafe or park.

[00:04:03] Expressing yourself clearly and calmly.

[00:04:05] This is key when communicating your decision to cut someone off.

[00:04:08] Be sure to use a firm yet respectful tone and avoid using language that could make the

[00:04:13] person feel attacked or belittled.

[00:04:15] Stick to the facts and make sure you express your point of view without being aggressive

[00:04:20] or dismissive.

[00:04:22] And avoiding blame and anger.

[00:04:24] This is essential when cutting someone off.

[00:04:26] It may be difficult to do, but try to avoid assigning blame or getting angry during your

[00:04:31] conversation.

[00:04:33] Instead, focus on expressing how you feel and why you need to make this decision.

[00:04:39] Dealing with the aftermath of cutting someone off.

[00:04:42] Coping with guilt and doubt.

[00:04:44] You may feel guilty or doubt your decision after cutting someone off.

[00:04:48] It's important to remember that this is a necessary step in taking control of your life

[00:04:52] and protecting yourself from further harm.

[00:04:55] If you're struggling with these feelings, it can be helpful to speak with a therapist

[00:04:59] or a trusted friend.

[00:05:01] Controlling reactions from family and friends.

[00:05:04] Family members and friends may have strong reactions to your decision to cut someone off.

[00:05:08] It's important to remind them that this is a personal choice and that you need their

[00:05:12] support in order for it to be successful.

[00:05:15] If necessary, explain the reasons behind your decision and ask for their understanding.

[00:05:21] Coping with feelings of loneliness.

[00:05:23] You may experience feelings of loneliness or disconnection after cutting someone off.

[00:05:28] It can be helpful to stay busy and focus on surrounding yourself with people who are

[00:05:31] supportive and positive.

[00:05:33] Additionally, don't forget to take time for self-care and do things that bring you joy.

[00:05:39] And learning from the experience.

[00:05:42] Finally, try to learn from the experience by reflecting on what you could have done differently.

[00:05:48] Consider how your actions may have contributed to the situation and what you can do in the

[00:05:52] future to avoid similar situations.

[00:05:54] This can help you become more aware of your own behavior and enable you to make better

[00:05:59] choices going forward.

[00:06:01] Conclusion Cutting someone off is never an easy decision,

[00:06:05] but it's sometimes necessary for our own well-being.

[00:06:09] By following the steps outlined in this guide, you can end toxic relationships and move on

[00:06:14] with your life.

[00:06:19] You just listened to the post titled, How to Cut Someone Off, A Guide to Ending Toxic

[00:06:25] Relationships, by Rebecca Crespo of MinimalismMadeSimple.com.

[00:06:29] And I'll be right back with my commentary.

[00:06:32] And thank you very much to Rebecca for today's post, which I thought was really well done

[00:06:36] and did a good job of chronicling sort of the whole journey of cutting someone off from

[00:06:41] beginning to end.

[00:06:43] And I will end today by reiterating something I've said a few times before when covering

[00:06:46] articles about quote-unquote toxic people in our lives.

[00:06:51] There is nothing wrong with deliberately cutting off certain folks, but I do worry that we often

[00:06:57] fall into the trap of doing so prematurely.

[00:07:00] Let's look at Rebecca's list of signs that we need to cut someone off, for example.

[00:07:04] So maybe someone is disrespecting your boundaries and you're feeling drained by them.

[00:07:09] Sure, this is a problem.

[00:07:11] But have we first checked in with them to see if something is troubling them, causing

[00:07:16] them to behave erratically?

[00:07:18] Can we at least make an attempt to identify such a thing and try to help them through

[00:07:22] it should we find something before cutting them off?

[00:07:25] Or another one, if you feel taken advantage of.

[00:07:28] Again, a legitimate sign, but what is underneath it?

[00:07:32] Is it possible that you are doing things for them and stretching yourself too thin not because

[00:07:36] they ask you to, but because this is something you're subconsciously feeling that you have

[00:07:40] to do for people to maintain closeness?

[00:07:44] So again, these are good signs that Rebecca has provided, but it's important to examine

[00:07:49] them at all angles so that we can really stay aware of the role we're playing in the relationships

[00:07:54] with those that we might be tempted to cut off.

[00:07:57] But that'll do it for today everyone.

[00:07:59] Thank you so much for being here as always and for starting your week off right with us.

[00:08:03] It's highly appreciated and I hope to see you tomorrow for more.

[00:08:06] That's where your optimal life awaits.