2248: The Six Elements Of Self-Esteem Building by Brian Tracy on Personal Development & Growth

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[00:00:17] [SPEAKER_01]: This is Optimal Relationships Daily, Episode 2248, The Six Elements Of Self-Esteem Building

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_01]: by Brian Tracy of bryantracie.com. Hello everybody and welcome to ORD. I'm your host Greg Audino,

[00:00:32] [SPEAKER_01]: and while I am usually your narrator as well, in these weekly bonus episodes which we do each Sunday,

[00:00:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I actually share previously aired audio from another one of the shows in our network.

[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_01]: We'll be doing the same today, this time featuring our very first show, Optimal Living

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_01]: Daily, which centers on personal development content. So without further ado, here is

[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_01]: OLD narrator Justin with the post and his commentary as we optimize your life.

[00:01:01] [SPEAKER_02]: The Six Elements Of Self-Esteem Building by Brian Tracy of bryantracie.com

[00:01:08] [SPEAKER_02]: To perform at your best and to feel terrific about yourself, you should be in a perpetual

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_02]: state of self-esteem building and maintenance. Just as you take responsibility for your level

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_02]: of physical fitness, you need to take complete responsibility for the content and quality

[00:01:24] [SPEAKER_02]: of your mind. I've developed a simple formula that contains all the critical elements of self-esteem

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_02]: building and you can use it on a regular basis to assure maximum performance. This formula is

[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_02]: comprised of six basic elements. They are goals, standards, success experiences,

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_02]: comparison with others, recognition, and rewards. Let's take them one at a time.

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_02]: Element 1 How much you like and respect yourself is directly affected by your goals.

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_02]: The very act of setting big, challenging goals for yourself and making written plans of action to

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_02]: achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel much better about

[00:02:09] [SPEAKER_02]: yourself. Self-esteem is a condition you experience when you are moving step by step

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_02]: toward the accomplishment of something that is important to you. For that reason,

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_02]: it's really important to have clear goals for each part of your life and to continually work

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_02]: toward achieving those goals. Each progressive step causes your self-esteem to go up and makes

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_02]: you feel more positive and effective in everything else you do. The second element

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_02]: in self-esteem building is having clear standards and values to which you are committed. Men and

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_02]: women with high self-esteem are very clear about what they believe in. The higher your

[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_02]: values and ideals are, and the more committed you are to living your life consistent with those

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_02]: values and ideals, the more you will like and respect yourself, and the higher your self-esteem

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_02]: will be. Lasting self-esteem comes only when your goals and your values are congruent, that is,

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_02]: when they fit into each other like a hand into a glove. Much of the stress that people

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_02]: experience comes from believing one thing and trying to do another. But when your

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_02]: goals and values are in harmony with each other, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well-being,

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_02]: and that's when you start to make real progress. Many people tell me that they are unhappy with their

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_02]: job because they can't seem to achieve success no matter how hard they try. I always ask them

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_02]: if they're doing what they really care about and believe in themselves. In many cases,

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_02]: people realize that they are not happy with their job because it is the wrong kind of work

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_02]: for them. Once they change jobs and start doing something that they really enjoy,

[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_02]: something that is more consistent with their innermost convictions, they start to make real

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_02]: progress and get a lot of satisfaction out of their work. The third element in self-esteem

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_02]: building involves having success experiences. Once you have set your goals and standards,

[00:04:01] [SPEAKER_02]: it is important that you make them measurable so that you can keep score of your small

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_02]: and large successes along the way. The very act of setting up a goal, breaking it down into smaller

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_02]: parts, and then completing those parts makes you feel like a winner and causes your self-esteem to

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_02]: go up. But remember that you can't hit a target you can't see. You can't feel like a winner

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_02]: unless you clearly lay out the standards by which you are going to measure your success

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_02]: and then achieve those standards. Let's say that you set a goal to sell a certain amount

[00:04:32] [SPEAKER_02]: or earn a certain amount of income in a given year. If you break that down into monthly and

[00:04:37] [SPEAKER_02]: weekly goals, and then you achieve the first of those goals, you will feel great about yourself.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_02]: Each time you reach another milestone, your self-esteem and ability to perform will increase,

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_02]: and you'll feel encouraged and enthusiastic about the next challenge.

[00:04:53] [SPEAKER_02]: The fourth element of self-esteem is comparison with others. Leon Festinger of Harvard University

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_02]: concluded that, in determining how well we are doing, we do not compare ourselves with abstract

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_02]: standards, but rather we compare ourselves with people we know. To feel like a winner, you must

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_02]: know for sure that you are doing as well as or better than someone else. The more you know about

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_02]: how well the others in your field are doing and the more favorable you compare with them,

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_02]: the more you'll feel like a winner and the higher your self-esteem will be.

[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_02]: Successful people continually compare themselves with other successful people. They think about them

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_02]: and read about them and study their performances, and then they work to surpass them one step at a time.

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_02]: Eventually, successful people reach the point where they compete only with themselves and

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_02]: with their past accomplishments. But this comes after they have moved to the top

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_02]: and left many of their competitors behind. The next element for self-esteem is recognition

[00:05:53] [SPEAKER_02]: of your accomplishments by people whom you respect. To feel really great about yourself,

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_02]: you need the recognition of people you look up to and admire, such as your boss, your co-workers,

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_02]: your spouse, and people in your social circle. Whenever you are recognized and praised for any

[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_02]: accomplishment by someone whose opinion you hold in high regard, your self-esteem goes up,

[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_02]: along with your eagerness and enthusiasm to do an even better job.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_02]: The final element of self-esteem involves rewards that are consistent with your accomplishments.

[00:06:27] [SPEAKER_02]: You may work in a field where you receive financial bonuses,

[00:06:31] [SPEAKER_02]: status symbols, larger offices, bigger cars, or even plaques and trophies for superior achievement.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_02]: All of those symbols can have an incredible impact on raising your self-esteem

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_02]: and causing you to feel terrific about yourself. You just listened to the post titled

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_02]: The Six Elements of Self-Esteem Building by Brian Tracy of bryantracie.com.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_02]: If they get a Brian, super popular author and speaker, I'm not sure in the years of doing this

[00:07:02] [SPEAKER_02]: podcast and reading an article every single day that I've heard the idea that setting goals

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_02]: will help your self-esteem, but I can see where he's coming from. We've heard both sides

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_02]: of the setting goals argument. Most often you will hear that they are beneficial,

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_02]: especially if you write them down, because just that process itself

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_02]: makes it more likely that you will succeed with the goal. But as he was saying,

[00:07:26] [SPEAKER_02]: every step you take towards that goal is a sort of pad on the back which can help build self-esteem

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_02]: that ties into element three of having successes. Now that said, if you create a goal way

[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_02]: outside your reach or one that's not really a great fit for you personally,

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_02]: but sort of attach that outcome to your self-esteem, I think there's a possibility of it doing more

[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_02]: harm than good. So it's really important to be realistic. And then when you do hit those goals,

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_02]: or not even that, but just take a small step in the right direction, make sure to implement

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_02]: element six for sure. Reward yourself. And do reward yourself somehow just for listening

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_02]: today. That's a step in the right direction in my book. Just reading these articles to you

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_02]: has improved my life in countless ways. So being here with me daily will surely improve yours as well.

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_02]: And of course if you want to help someone else out sharing this show with them,

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_02]: telling them about it really goes a long way. That's how I've been able to keep this show

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_02]: going for so long. It's with your help sharing this show. So thank you for doing that and

[00:08:27] [SPEAKER_02]: spreading the word. And with that have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow for

[00:08:32] [SPEAKER_02]: the Friday show where your optimal life awaits.