2251: How to Take Chances (A Love Story) by Jennifer of Simply Fiercely on Dating Advice

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, Episode 2251. How to Take Chances. A Love Story by Jennifer of Simply Fiercely.com. Hello everybody and welcome back to the show that is all about improving your relationships every day in about 10 minutes. I'm Greg Audino, your host and narrator.

[00:00:19] Really glad you've decided to join us today. Now in this episode, I'll be sharing a post from Jennifer of Simply Fiercely who has a lesson for us about taking chances when it comes to

[00:00:28] love and life. So let's give her work the floor and optimize your life. How to Take Chances. A Love Story by Jennifer of Simply Fiercely.com. Last night, I sat on the beach with a cold beer

[00:00:46] in my hand and my new husband by my side. We laughed, we held hands, and we talked about the amazing seven months we have ahead of us. And as I looked at the sunset, I caught myself reflecting

[00:00:58] on all the chapters of my life that have brought me to this moment. Right now, I'm living a life that my younger self could never even have imagined and I'm pretty blown away by how everything has

[00:01:08] turned out. Seriously, how did I get here? To be honest, it's pretty complicated. But when I look back and trace the messy web of my life, I can see the one habit that has consistently fueled

[00:01:20] everything awesome in my life. I know how to take chances, how to push through the fear and take a leap of faith. I'm sharing this and I hope it doesn't come across as boastful because I think

[00:01:32] that sometimes everyone needs to hear that the path you see in front of you doesn't have to be the path you follow. It's not always easy, but taking chances is how I've learned to grow and

[00:01:42] change. The title of this post is actually a bit misleading. At the end of the day, I can't tell you how to take chances, but I can share one of my stories and hopefully inspire you to be vulnerable,

[00:01:55] take risks and push the limit of your comfort zone because that's where the magic happens. Lesson 1. Things don't have to last forever to be meaningful. This is a love story. One week ago, I married my best friend and my soulmate. But I'm going to

[00:02:11] start with something not so romantic. This is my second marriage. And can I be honest? Even though divorce is common these days, writing those words is uncomfortable. The short version of a long story

[00:02:23] that I won't be sharing is that my first marriage was to someone who wasn't meant for me. I don't regret getting married and I don't feel as if it was a mistake, but it still stings a bit when I

[00:02:33] talk about it. I've traveled the world alone and I've gotten myself into some pretty sticky situations. But still, leaving my marriage was the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. Before I got

[00:02:45] married, I had a fairly blasé attitude about divorce. But once I was looking down the barrel, I honestly could not imagine how I could make it to the other side. I was horribly afraid of letting everyone down. Which brings me to the first lesson in taking

[00:02:59] chances. When you take a risk and it doesn't work out, the world doesn't end. It was scary and painful and my life felt upside down for a while. But at the end of the day, I walked away a bit wiser and

[00:03:12] a bit more worldly. Our failures, and I use that word loosely, are our biggest teachers. Lesson 2. Being vulnerable is better than living with regret. I met my Englishman, the man I married

[00:03:26] last Friday, in a backpacker's hostel half a world away from home. We were staying in the same dorm room. I was traveling through Europe alone and although I traveled alone a lot when I was younger,

[00:03:38] I was feeling uncomfortable. At 31, I felt old and out of place. My first night in the hostel, I was too shy to talk to anyone and I spent the evening with my book for company. The second

[00:03:49] night, some friendly folks invited me to play a game of cards. A few beers and a few hours later, I found myself laughing hilariously with a charming Englishman by my side. The next few days were

[00:04:00] beautiful and I had a typical holiday romance. We held hands and kissed in alleyways and talked late into the night. Then all holiday romances come to an end, right? The day came and he had

[00:04:13] a flight booked back to London and I had a train to catch. But instead, he taught me something about taking chances. Instead of boarding his flight, he caught the train with me and we rode into the

[00:04:25] sunset and lived happily ever after. Not quite. He joined me on my travels and we spent a few more beautiful, utterly romantic days together but we were only delaying the inevitable. Soon it was

[00:04:38] time to say goodbye. He flew to London and I flew to the States to stay with my mom and to try to figure out what on earth I was doing. At this stage, the only thing I knew for sure was that I

[00:04:50] was head over heels in love with a man I had known for precisely eight days. Every reasonable bone in my body knew I was being foolish. I had just ended a long-term relationship. I was flat broke and

[00:05:02] staying with my mom. To further complicate things, I knew I really needed to get back to Australia. I'm American but I've been living in Australia since my early 20s. I had a mortgage, a car loan,

[00:05:13] an adult life waiting for me to come home and sort out. A serious relationship with a man I barely knew who lived an ocean away, adding a third continent to my mixed-up life, was the last thing

[00:05:25] I needed. Or so I told myself. But the truth is, I was afraid. Afraid of being vulnerable, of getting hurt, of looking ridiculously stupid, and of all the hard work that would surely come with pursuing this relationship. But here comes the next lesson about taking chances.

[00:05:44] Ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen? I was risking pride, ego, time, effort, and money. But I've been embarrassed. I've been tired and I've been poor. It's not fun, but it's nothing

[00:05:59] I can't live with or overcome. But what I can't live with, what I can't face, and what I fear most is regret. Within the month we both booked flights to see each other again. Lesson 3. Don't settle and fight for your dreams. We were apart for four months,

[00:06:16] and then spent five weeks together, hopping between the US and UK. And then, having spent less than two months actually together, we made an elaborate plan. For the next eight months, we traveled between the UK and Southeast Asia. I maxed out my credit cards and drained my savings.

[00:06:33] We did everything we could to stay together until the timing was right, and I brought my Englishman back to Australia. And two years after that, last Friday, we got married.

[00:06:44] Now I have a partner, in every sense of the word, who shares my values, my hopes, and my dreams. Remember that wisdom I talked about learning from my first marriage? The best relationship advice I

[00:06:55] can offer is to find someone whose core values are in line with yours. And that's my love story. One of the many chapters that have brought me to this point in my life. I hope you've enjoyed my story, and I hope you remember to listen to your heart,

[00:07:08] take your own chances, and never settle for anything less than a life you love. You just listened to the post titled, How To Take Chances, A Love Story, by Jennifer of SimplyFiercely.com. And many thanks to Jennifer for a beautiful post,

[00:07:28] probably something I needed to hear myself. I definitely get caught up in thinking from disaster to disaster sometimes, trying feverishly to avoid them in advance, and not really bothering to reflect on my ability to rebound even if disaster does strike and I can't

[00:07:45] prevent it. Stories like Jennifer's really inspire me. They provide what feels like a healthy sense of hope, and they encourage me to trust in my ability to recover, rather than trying to remove

[00:07:57] myself from even needing to do that, if that makes sense. Anyway, I hope this post hit home for you too, and I hope you can reflect on all the times that you've been able to recover from

[00:08:06] the unexpected, and that that reflection can remind you that you'll be able to do it again if need be. That's all though everyone. I thank you so much for joining today and every day,

[00:08:16] and be sure to come back again tomorrow where I'll have another inspiring post to read to you, and where your optimal life awaits.