2268: [Part 2] The Power of Community: How it Has Changed My Life by Danae Smith on Friendships

[00:00:00] Time for strong performance with the new Galaxy Watch Ultra. No matter if you are a sportsman, a sportsman, a sportsman or a sportsman, and no matter if you are a jogger, a marathon runner, who wants to dance through the night or go on tour in France.

[00:00:19] Get the best out of here with the new Samsung Galaxy Watch Ultra with Galaxy AI. Let's go! This is Optimal Relationships Daily, The Power of Community, How It Has Changed My Life, Part 2 by Danae Smith of ThisWonderousLife.com

[00:00:36] Hello everybody! My name is Greg Audino. I am your host and narrator here on ORD. Here with you seven days a week to help you improve your relationships in about ten minutes or so. Glad you've decided to spend some time with us.

[00:00:48] And today I'll be finishing up a post I began yesterday from Danae Smith. So go ahead and listen to yesterday's post if you haven't already. But if you are all caught up then let's jump right back in,

[00:00:58] hear the rest of her thoughts on The Power of Community and continue optimizing your life. The Power of Community, How It Has Changed My Life, Part 2 by Danae Smith of ThisWonderousLife.com Community taught me intentionality.

[00:01:19] I'm going to be honest. Friendships that unfold out of the blue are some of the best. There is nothing like having that instant connection that just breathes life into your soul. Seriously. My favorite. But what happens when the hype dies down?

[00:01:34] When I made my move to California and got connected to people who are now some of the most important in my life, I learned what intentionality looked like. It looked like car rides every morning or opening up my apartment for someone to stay in.

[00:01:47] It looked like spontaneous dinner parties and pool dates. It looked like late night drives and stargazing. Intentionality looked like getting practical and asking what connection looked like beyond the present moment. It was figuring out what we each needed to keep this connection alive.

[00:02:03] Has it ebbed and flowed? Yes. Has communication shifted and morphed? Completely. Are some of the hearts that I was deeply connected to those two years not as close as before? Absolutely.

[00:02:15] There are so many reasons that can influence the shift in a relationship and it doesn't have to be negative. Seasons change. It happens. Even in the midst of that though, if it's a connection or relationship you value deeply, figure out a way to make room for it.

[00:02:31] In pursuing community, you must choose intentionality. You must be active in maintaining connection. You want to get to know that person? Set up a hangout. You haven't spoken to a friend in a while? Reach out. Don't only talk about connecting but actually connect.

[00:02:47] Go out of your way to know someone and be known. Community said vulnerability is safe. This is a huge one y'all. Safety and vulnerability. That's a key to the power of community and a truth that has impacted how I do relationships.

[00:03:04] Now, if you know me, I'm basically an open book. I won't go so far as to say I wear my heart on my sleeve but you can basically tell how I feel all the time whether I like it or not. Hashtag expressive people problems.

[00:03:17] I'm fairly forthcoming and sharing about myself but like most people, the really deep stuff, I'm talking the messy, broken, dark, uncomfortable stuff. I tend to keep to myself. I've learned and I am still learning that there is safety in letting people into that space.

[00:03:34] I say still learning because I surely haven't mastered it in every moment. There are times I wrestle with those thoughts of being too much of something or being judged or shamed. But then when I've pushed past those thoughts and dived deep into vulnerability,

[00:03:49] I found support, empowerment and strength on the other side. To see that vulnerability is safe, you have to take the risk and in taking the risk you've got to trust the heart of the ones you're letting in. Now mind you, I don't just let any old person in.

[00:04:05] The people that get to step into those spaces of my process are people I've built that kind of history with. Letting heart friends into those parts of your process builds a deeper history. It gives them an opportunity to show up, to be the strength of voice of reason,

[00:04:19] to impart wisdom and truth in your hour of need. And it is beautiful. It can be awkward and it's scary as all get out. But I've learned from pursuing community that there is safety on the other side of it. It's safe because the history the connection has created

[00:04:34] covers the moment of vulnerability. Community showed me that friendship is more than just similarities, it's an invitation to build history. Again, building that history, hashtag gold, hashtag worth it. Up until 2012, I didn't really see relationships as a way of building history and legacy.

[00:04:55] You have friends, you win some, you lose some, say la vie. But after 2012, I realized that friendships can be more than just having common interests and similarities, which of course is always fun. It gets to be an invitation to building history and legacy with someone.

[00:05:11] Okay, Diney, what is building history? Well, to me, the history is not just the showing up during the hardest or best times of life. It's being there in the simple spaces. It's being present for the victories as much as the losses, the highlights and the humdrum.

[00:05:27] It's never shrinking back when it gets weird or uncomfortable. It's choosing connection over being right. Building history with someone is allowing yourself to be seen and seeing them. I've realized the history built plays a huge role when offense comes or pettiness happens. Instead of assuming the worst

[00:05:45] and tossing the friendship out the window, when their history built, we get to pull on what's true from what we've built and let that be the starting point in times of conflict or tension. Community showed me that it can transcend space and time.

[00:05:59] I've always had pockets of friends everywhere. And for a long time, I thought that was a curse or failure. I longed to have the ideal setup, you know? Where my heart people were right where I was when we were doing life together day in and day out.

[00:06:14] However, community has shown that it really doesn't look one way. I have heart people where I am and it's gold. I also have heart people in different states and it's still gold. Some of my heart friends are my oldest friendships in life while others are still new.

[00:06:30] Now don't get me wrong. There is something so special about having heart people physically where you are. It's beautiful and it's worth going after but don't discredit the relationships that don't look exactly like that. Whether your heart friends or hearts you've known

[00:06:44] for over 10 years or souls you've connected with in the last year, the beauty of community is that it isn't locked into a certain time, space, or number to determine whether it qualifies as community. Does community have a standard and culture? Totally and it's largely what you decide

[00:07:02] to uphold and create. Community is honestly what you make it and can cross the barrier of space and time. So there, that was a lot I know. But those are just a few things I've learned about community over the last almost six years.

[00:07:17] Community is ultimately a beautiful invitation that is both challenging and rewarding. It's changed my life and continues to change it. You just listened to part two of the post titled The Power of Community, How It Has Changed My Life by Dene Smith of thiswonderouslife.com

[00:07:40] And a great finish from Dene, post that definitely gets you thinking. That's certainly the case for me as she's described going through almost the exact situation I did, except I went to California in 2013 rather than 2012. But some wonderful material here.

[00:07:56] And I think for me one of the most valuable lessons was the one she ended with about how community transcends space and time. I definitely fall victim to getting lost in the old days and feeling as though certain relationships are somehow dead or not enough

[00:08:14] if I'm not seeing the people in person as much as I used to or as much as I could. This just isn't the case though. And as our lives change, in addition to how our peers' lives change, it becomes increasingly important to consider how the strongest relationships

[00:08:31] can be a matter of quality over quantity. Definitely something I'm working on accepting and I appreciate Dene helping me to do that over these last couple of days. And I hope this post helped you too, friends. We have reached the end though,

[00:08:44] so I thank you for being here and listening to both parts one and two. Have a great rest of your day and be sure to come back for the Thursday show tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.