2276: How To Get Your Super Motivated Boyfriend to Marry You by Sam Dogen of Financial Samurai on Marriage

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Relationships Daily. How To Get Your Super Motivated Boyfriend to Marry You by Sam Dogen of FinancialSamurai.com

[00:00:09] [SPEAKER_00]: Hello everybody and welcome to another installment of ORD, hosted and narrated by me Greg Audino.

[00:00:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Great to have you with me once again. And this time we'll actually be hearing a piece from Sam Dogen,

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_00]: who is a really reputable writer about finance and has been shared on our finance show,

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_00]: Optimal Finance Daily a number of times. He's written today about how one might influence their

[00:00:31] [SPEAKER_00]: super motivated boyfriend to take the plunge and propose marriage. Let's hear his thoughts as we

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_00]: optimize your life. How To Get Your Super Motivated Boyfriend to Marry You by Sam Dogen of FinancialSamurai.com

[00:00:50] [SPEAKER_00]: A super motivated boyfriend is great. There's just one problem. You might have trouble locking

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_00]: him down. Why won't he marry me? Pops up a lot nowadays. Seemingly beautiful, smart women can't

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_00]: find the love of their lives. And when they do, they can't lock them down. Women have it tougher

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_00]: today. It amazes me how some can juggle career and motherhood so well. Those who do deserve a

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_00]: gold star because there are only so many hours in a day. What's less talked about is the pressure

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_00]: society puts on men to succeed. Women need to know that men have it rough too. Society expects us to

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00]: provide and provide some more. Ever since I was a kid, my parents stressed the importance of education

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_00]: so that I can make enough money to support a family. The pressure was latent but immense,

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_00]: making each poor grade or non promotion that much more stressful. When you're a teenage boy,

[00:01:46] [SPEAKER_00]: frankly all you want to do is chase girls and not plan out the next two decades of your

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_00]: life. The super motivated boyfriend is a curious being. He has a potential gem to any woman out

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_00]: there with enough polishing. Polish him too much and he loses his edge and rolls away. It's important

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_00]: to understand his ambitions. For once you do, wedding bells won't be far away. Five ways to

[00:02:10] [SPEAKER_00]: get your super motivated boyfriend to marry you. Number one, super motivated boyfriends are

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_00]: insecure. Super motivated boyfriends are terrified of failure given the massive amount of expectations

[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_00]: placed upon them since they were kids. The more education they receive, like grad school,

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_00]: the more time and money spent and the more is expected of them to become great successes.

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Some super motivated boyfriends are late bloomers, which is even worse because they

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_00]: are playing catch up with peers who have already checked all the boxes growing up.

[00:02:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Beware of the late bloomer super motivated boyfriend.

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Action, be selfless in your support no matter how silly his goals are. He needs constant

[00:02:54] [SPEAKER_00]: reinforcement that he is doing the right thing even though you think he's not.

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Number two, super motivated boyfriends set target ages for achievement.

[00:03:04] [SPEAKER_00]: A classic target age is 30 where many women shoot to marry by 30. The super motivated

[00:03:10] [SPEAKER_00]: boyfriend generally has some type of monetary or career goal they must achieve by then.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Super motivated boyfriends are often told that by the time they're 30,

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_00]: they'll have either made it or failed completely. Talk about pressure.

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_00]: What's important to realize is that the closer your super motivated boyfriend is to 30

[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_00]: without much to show for it, the less he'll likely want to marry you. The other typical

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_00]: age targets are 35, 40 and 45. It's important to find out what his age anchors are.

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Action, assess whether you think he'll reach his dreams by 30 or whatever his age anchor might be.

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't think he's going to become a vice president in his firm by then,

[00:03:52] [SPEAKER_00]: you should either dump him while you're still young or reset your marriage expectations

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_00]: by the corresponding years you think it'll take him for him to reach his goals.

[00:04:00] [SPEAKER_00]: The choice is yours.

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_00]: Number three, super motivated boyfriends have big egos, stroke wisely.

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Despite being insecure, super motivated boyfriends often come across as overly confident

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_00]: because they've been working towards their one goal for so long and with so much effort,

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_00]: any person who does not share their passion will be scoffed at. It may be the simple

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_00]: smirk during a conversation or the brush off during an initial meeting once they find out

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_00]: what the other guy does. Super motivated boyfriends believe that they are the best thing

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_00]: since sliced bread and have superiority complexes. Action, realize that a lot of his ego is born out

[00:04:41] [SPEAKER_00]: of his insecurities. Give your boyfriend constant reinforcement while complimenting him

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_00]: on his successes. There will always be some other colleague of his who gets paid more

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_00]: or gets promoted before him. So make him feel like he's doing a great job.

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Number four, super motivated boyfriends like to play the field.

[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_00]: The deadliest super motivated boyfriend is the good looking one. He's confident,

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_00]: motivated and makes women other than yourself swoon. Meeting a career oriented,

[00:05:12] [SPEAKER_00]: highly motivated man is attractive enough. Add on good looks and it's game over.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_00]: The hot super motivated boyfriend is hardest to lock down. Because he's insecure and knows

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: he's handsome, he needs even more reinforcement than you can give him. He also needs the attention

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_00]: of other fine ladies who will oo and ah at his stature and success. Action, let him loose or

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_00]: else he will resent you. All men have the insatiable desire to flirt with women. You may

[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_00]: think you are only innocently inquiring about his whereabouts through your constant texting,

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_00]: but in his eyes every single inquiry is a nag. The more you inquire, the more you nag,

[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_00]: and the more he's reminded of being in youth prison where his mom doesn't allow him to go out

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_00]: and play. And number five, super motivated boyfriends love confident women. Nothing turns off

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_00]: super motivated boyfriends more than a woman who does not know what she wants. If you're the

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_00]: type of girl who always replies, you choose when it comes to watching a movie, you have very little

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_00]: chance of becoming Mrs. Super motivated boyfriend. Part of the attractiveness of a confident

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_00]: woman is the counterbalance of a super motivated boyfriends own securities. Super motivated boyfriends

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_00]: think subconsciously that if a strong confident sexy woman wants to be with them, they must be

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_00]: doing something right with their lives. Action, have a core group of girlfriends you can always

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00]: hang out with. He needs to know that you can have fun without him. Tell him about your

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_00]: plans with other girls and never invite him. The more you spend time with your

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00]: don't believe me. Next time you're with your boyfriend, tell him that you're spending time

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_00]: with your girlfriends one Thursday and don't ask him what he's doing. He'll come groveling to spend

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_00]: all the time he can with you when you return. There is nothing more attractive to a super

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_00]: motivated boyfriend than a woman who can show her feminine side and kick butt in the boardroom.

[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Don't let your super motivated boyfriend get away. You may be the most loving girlfriend

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_00]: in the world, but if you don't understand the pressures and milestone targets every super

[00:07:21] [SPEAKER_00]: motivated boyfriend faces, you're going to have an awfully difficult time locking him down.

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Having a super motivated boyfriend is both a blessing and a curse.

[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_00]: On the other hand, your super motivated boyfriend is so focused on making a name for himself

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_00]: that he loses sight of you. On the one hand, your super motivated boyfriend is so focused

[00:07:42] [SPEAKER_00]: on making a name for himself that he loses sight of you. On the other hand, if your super motivated

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_00]: boyfriend finally achieves his goals with your support, he will not only emerge as a secure person,

[00:07:53] [SPEAKER_00]: he will be grateful and want to take care of you forever. You just listened to the post titled

[00:08:02] [SPEAKER_00]: How To Get Your Super Motivated Boyfriend To Marry You by Sam Dogen of FinancialSamurai.com

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_00]: and be sure to stick around for my commentary coming up in just a minute.

[00:08:13] [SPEAKER_00]: All right and thanks to Sam, though I must say that this is a post in response to which I will

[00:08:19] [SPEAKER_00]: exercise my right as host to do some disagreeing. For me, a lot of what he said today was far too

[00:08:25] [SPEAKER_00]: generalized, so I think the advice that I would supplement it with is to be aware of boxing

[00:08:31] [SPEAKER_00]: people up like this when you're trying to cultivate a good relationship of any kind,

[00:08:35] [SPEAKER_00]: not just romantic. The attributes he laid out today probably reflect Sam himself most accurately.

[00:08:42] [SPEAKER_00]: And that being said, another piece of advice if you're looking for one is to not go around

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: psychoanalyzing people based on the assumption that they operate the same way that you do.

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_00]: The men that Sam described today, yes some exist for sure and then some used to exist like this

[00:08:59] [SPEAKER_00]: yet made changes along the way. But 99% of men out there probably have just one or two

[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_00]: of the traits that he's written about. The more you can approach people like open books,

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_00]: the more likely you are to learn about what makes them unique and thus form genuine connections.

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Food for thought everyone. Time to get going for now but thank you so much for being here today

[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_00]: and listening through to the end. Have a terrific rest of your day and be sure to come back for

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_00]: more ORD tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.