2298: How I Found The Definition Of True Love by Eddie Corbano of Loves A Game on Finding the Right Partner

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[00:00:17] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. How I Found The Definition Of True Love by Eddie Corbano

[00:00:24] of LovesAGame.com Hello everybody and welcome to ORD, where I Greg Audino share different articles

[00:00:32] with you each day that focus on how to build better relationships in your life. And today's

[00:00:37] is really great as author Eddie Corbano offers thoughts on the different types of love

[00:00:41] and how he has come to discover its truest definition. So sit back and relax as we start

[00:00:47] the reading now and optimize your life. How I Found The True Definition Of Love

[00:00:56] by Eddie Corbano of LovesAGame.com Have you ever dreamed of the perfect partner,

[00:01:03] the ultimate romantic love in the perfect relationship? A partner who is your missing part,

[00:01:09] the one that fulfills you and makes you complete, who's been waiting their whole life just to

[00:01:13] meet you and by your bond a door in heaven opens for you. Welcome to the club,

[00:01:19] you're not alone. Please listen to the following email from a dear reader.

[00:01:25] Throughout my breakup, there's a concept that's been holding me back, the one. I always believed

[00:01:32] it but after this breakup I have come to question it. I was so sure my ex was the one

[00:01:38] and I was so sure she would never hurt me like this. If I ever find love again,

[00:01:43] how will I know if that person really is the one? I had no doubt in my mind that he was the one.

[00:01:49] In fact, part of me still believes it. But how can I ever be sure of anything in a relationship

[00:01:54] if I was so certain last time and so wrong? End quote. I too suffered from the same disease,

[00:02:02] believing in an unrealistic picture of love. The Concept Of The One

[00:02:07] Since I was little, I believed in the concept of finding the one.

[00:02:12] I knew exactly how this whole thing was going to play out. I would accidentally run into a beautiful

[00:02:17] and charming girl one fine day, or maybe she would knock at my front door, look into her face,

[00:02:23] and immediately realize that we were meant for each other. She would be the one.

[00:02:28] The following life together would be one of fulfillment and eternal love,

[00:02:32] heaven on earth in the arms of a woman. I'm reminded of a story from the ancient

[00:02:36] Greeks about the origins of true love, which I read a long time ago. There was Aristophanes Androgyny,

[00:02:43] Plato's anecdote on the origins of love in mankind. The story recounts the primordial Androgyny,

[00:02:49] mythical creatures with forearms, forelegs, and two heads. They epitomized completeness

[00:02:55] and were able to do almost anything. However, their pride and their abilities angered the gods

[00:03:01] and caused Zeus to cut them. Separated in two, they were destined to drift alone,

[00:03:07] empty and incomplete, longing for their former halves.

[00:03:12] Proprietor, the Androgyny is the symbol of wholeness, and the pursuit of it is what love is.

[00:03:17] Isn't this beautiful? This story always fascinated me. The problem here was that I took the

[00:03:23] whole thing too much to heart. I was looking for my missing half. Has it worked out that

[00:03:29] way for me? Do I still believe in it and does it have to be a bad thing doing so?

[00:03:34] I'll tell you in a minute. But first, I have a question for you.

[00:03:38] What do you think is the definition of true love? And is there such thing as the one?

[00:03:44] Not so easy to answer, is it? There is a scientific categorization from a

[00:03:49] renowned sociologist about the six types of love. According to John Lee,

[00:03:53] there are six different types we can distinguish. Six types of love.

[00:03:59] Let's list them all. Number one, the physical love called Eros. The focus here is a physical one

[00:04:05] where looks are more important than anything else. It is based on aesthetic enjoyment.

[00:04:10] Number two, the love of the players called Lutus. These people tend to change partners

[00:04:16] frequently and are never attached to anyone. They like the game and the conquest.

[00:04:21] Number three, the companion at love, the storage,

[00:04:25] the warm and affectionate love you feel for a sibling or a best friend.

[00:04:29] Number four, the obsessive love, the mania. It's an extreme form of love where the

[00:04:35] lover possesses the other completely and wants their partner's attention constantly.

[00:04:39] This is usually driven by low self-esteem. Number five, the love called Pragma.

[00:04:45] This type of love is realistic. The lovers are looking for a match referring to personality

[00:04:50] and values. And number six, the altruistic love, the agape. Unselfish as it is,

[00:04:58] it accepts people as who they are and does not try to change them without asking anything in return.

[00:05:04] By considering the list, you can easily assign what types of love you have felt in the past.

[00:05:09] Let me take a wild guess. Was it one of the first four?

[00:05:12] As you can see, the agape is considered as the ideal love. Compassionate,

[00:05:18] egoless and self-giving. If you're experiencing this type of love, then you will ask nothing

[00:05:23] in return from your partner. Think about it. In order to experience this kind of true love,

[00:05:29] you have to be at peace with the world and yourself. And this is only possible if you

[00:05:34] love yourself the same unconditional way. If you do not, then you are taking

[00:05:40] advantage of your partner to upvalue yourself. In other words, if you are not happy from within,

[00:05:46] then you desperately need your partner to feel valuable and happy. The same thing happened to me.

[00:05:51] This is not true love. This would be mania. And it often leads to extreme suffering when the

[00:05:55] partnership ends. My definition of true love. The definition of true love, therefore,

[00:06:02] if you consider true as real and honest without self-interest,

[00:06:05] is altruistic giving and unconditional acceptance. But let's be real, how many people in the world

[00:06:12] can truly say that they are experiencing such pure love? Honestly, this sounds more like a philosophical

[00:06:18] kind of love to me, which most people will aspire to achieve their whole lives. This

[00:06:23] is the kind of love Jesus, Buddha, and Gandhi practiced and taught. So keeping that in mind,

[00:06:30] what is my personal definition and do I still have the same view of true love I used to have

[00:06:35] before my breakup happened? In a nutshell, I've developed a realistic, not glorified view of love

[00:06:42] in relationships, which helped me tremendously to concentrate on what I really want and what I don't.

[00:06:48] The definition of true love for me is loving yourself and thereby giving love without asking

[00:06:54] for anything in return. Is there the one? Honestly, I don't think there is such thing

[00:06:59] as the one. I think there are many. The relationship is good if both are compatible

[00:07:04] and willing to make an effort to make it work. This takes experience, inner balance, and daily

[00:07:09] commitment. The concept of the one will not be of use, especially if the relationship should end one

[00:07:15] day. Conclusion Abandon a glorified, unrealistic view of true love and the one.

[00:07:23] The takeaway message from this article, therefore, is the following. Abandon a glorified,

[00:07:28] unrealistic view of true love and the one, which love songs, poems, and chick flicks are

[00:07:33] propagating. Especially when you suffer from a breakup or divorce, you need a realistic view

[00:07:39] of your former relationship and a down-to-earth outlook towards future ones. The mindset that

[00:07:44] true love is something that starts within you and that is something on which both have to

[00:07:49] work at constantly will help you to find the kind of relationship you're looking for.

[00:07:53] This has helped me to find a fulfilling relationship where both partners can thrive

[00:07:58] without restraining each other. I'm not saying that love isn't important in a relationship.

[00:08:03] It is. But we must constantly be aware of what our motives are. Is it selfish or unselfish? Only by

[00:08:10] knowing that can we aspire to the highest, purest form of true love. You just listened to the

[00:08:20] post titled, How I Found The Definition Of True Love by Eddie Corbano of lovesagame.com

[00:08:26] and stick around for my comments coming up in just a sec.

[00:08:30] And thank you to Eddie for this one. Really cool to hear him talk about

[00:08:34] these six different types of love, isn't it? It's definitely an interesting tool for trying

[00:08:39] to better understand the type of love we give and receive. But I do believe that several

[00:08:43] types of love can coexist towards one person. And that being patient and observant of that

[00:08:50] can help us interpret love even better. We'd also be wise to consider the pros and cons of

[00:08:55] each type of love before signing them some place on the scale between good and bad.

[00:09:01] You know, agape, for example, is presented as a really selfless and therefore true love.

[00:09:07] It's very easy to get enchanted by that. But sometimes extraordinarily selfless love

[00:09:13] actually shows up when the love for ourselves is missing. Asking nothing of our partner, as Eddie

[00:09:18] put it, can often be the case for those who don't feel as though they deserve the privilege

[00:09:22] of asking for anything. So whatever type of love you're hoping to get a better grasp of,

[00:09:28] be sure to also think about where it might be coming from and how it might have both its benefits

[00:09:34] and its drawbacks. That'll do it for today, though, everyone. Thank you so much as always for being

[00:09:39] here and listening intently. I hope this article taught you something. And of course, I hope you

[00:09:43] will come back tomorrow to keep learning with us. That's where your optimal life awaits.