2308: How to Let Go of Anger When You've Been Hurt by Irene Elias of Self Love Junkie on Self-Compassion

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: This is Optimal Relationships Daily, How to Let Go of Anger When Youve Been Hurt by Irene

[00:00:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Elias of SelfLoveJunkie.com.

[00:00:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Hello everybody, glad to have you here again on Optimal Relationships Daily.

[00:00:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Today I am sharing a post again from Irene Elias that reflects upon how and why to

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_00]: move past feelings of anger and resentment.

[00:00:21] [SPEAKER_00]: So lets hear about how you can nurture more positive behaviors and start optimizing

[00:00:25] [SPEAKER_00]: your life.

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_00]: How to Let Go of Anger When Youve Been Hurt by Irene Elias of SelfLoveJunkie.com

[00:00:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Holding onto anger and resentment can bring a lot of negative energies in our lives.

[00:00:42] [SPEAKER_00]: It can also take a toll on our emotional well-being, mental health, and sense of

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_00]: peace.

[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_00]: If you are on the conscious path, you may have made a resolution this year to

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_00]: be more forgiving and more positive.

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_00]: But its no secret that forgiving is hard.

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Letting go of anger and resentment can often be easier said than done because

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_00]: we are human beings and therefore we need all the help we can get.

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_00]: The best way to break free from this anger is to forgive those who hurt you, so that

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_00]: you can regain your peace.

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_00]: I know, crazy right?

[00:01:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Even though you may be justified in feeling resentment and anger, you are only

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_00]: punishing yourself by carrying toxic low-vibe emotions that are interfering with your

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER_00]: energy and health.

[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00]: Look at forgiveness this way.

[00:01:22] [SPEAKER_00]: You agree with yourself that you are no longer willing to carry around pain in

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_00]: response to someone else's bad behavior.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_00]: As a matter of fact, just recently I was upset with a couple of people, one who

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_00]: made a comment that hurt me and the other person's bad behavior.

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_00]: In hindsight, their behavior had nothing to do with me personally and all about them

[00:01:43] [SPEAKER_00]: and their insecurities.

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_00]: However, when we're triggered by others behavior, its easy to react because 1.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_00]: we're human beings and 2.

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_00]: We're wired to protect ourselves.

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm continuously practicing that I can't change how others act towards me, but I

[00:01:59] [SPEAKER_00]: can change how I react to them.

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_00]: And it's conscious work to not let anyone be the reason your mood changes

[00:02:06] [SPEAKER_00]: and have a bad day.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_00]: But hello, with all due respect for those who like the concept, don't take

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00]: anything personally because nothing is personal, from a spiritual standpoint, I

[00:02:18] [SPEAKER_00]: understand where that idea is coming from, but like I said before, we're human

[00:02:22] [SPEAKER_00]: beings living in a world where, to put it bluntly, people can just pee us off

[00:02:26] [SPEAKER_00]: with their unnecessary remarks and bad behaviors.

[00:02:29] [SPEAKER_00]: Why can't people just be kind?

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_00]: It sounds so easy, right?

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Well, not everyone is on the conscious path and some don't even want to be.

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so let's talk about how we can let go of anger and resentment.

[00:02:42] [SPEAKER_00]: The healthy way to let go of anger and resentment is to, step one, not push

[00:02:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Allow yourself to feel how you're currently feeling.

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_00]: It's only natural and healthy to express all kinds of emotions and feelings.

[00:02:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Try to just be with this experience and not blame anyone, including yourself.

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Once you've given yourself permission to feel all of your feelings, you can then

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_00]: tell yourself that no one has the power to make you feel anything, and that you've

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_00]: decided to give back the words and actions to this person now as they don't belong

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_00]: to you.

[00:03:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Step two, do an inventory.

[00:03:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Sort out what is your stuff and what is their stuff.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Ask yourself if any of your triggers had to do with past childhood wounds.

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Did someone in the past have an impact on you, parent, family member, past relationship,

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_00]: friends, school teacher, you, an event or situation?

[00:03:31] [SPEAKER_00]: If so, acknowledge to yourself without shame that you are sensitive to these situations.

[00:03:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Own what's yours, take responsibility, be gentle with yourself, and if need be,

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_00]: get some therapy and or coaching.

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Step three, communicate.

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_00]: If possible and if it's safe and if you feel that you won't create a third

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_00]: world war, let the other person know how their behavior impacted you.

[00:03:55] [SPEAKER_00]: You may feel hurt, embarrassed, disrespected, uncomfortable, humiliated,

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_00]: and you're worthy enough to communicate your feelings and to speak out.

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_00]: If you don't feel comfortable or it's not possible to open up to this person,

[00:04:07] [SPEAKER_00]: then you can do this energetically with a visualization exercise below.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_00]: You need to be really open to this though.

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Step four, be open to release.

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_00]: Every relationship we encounter, friendship, romantic, relative, etc.,

[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_00]: our hearts get connected by an energetic cord and we need to be cutting these cords.

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_00]: So let's do this visualization.

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Close your eyes and in your mind's eye on an energetic level,

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_00]: call upon the person you want to talk with,

[00:04:35] [SPEAKER_00]: See them standing in front of you and begin to tell them exactly how you feel.

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Get everything off your chest.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_00]: Now, see this cord in your mind connecting the two of you,

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00]: then call upon spirit to help you.

[00:04:49] [SPEAKER_00]: See a big pair of golden scissors.

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_00]: Cut the cord or cords from your body now.

[00:04:54] [SPEAKER_00]: By cutting the energetic cord, you'll feel the release of negative energy

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_00]: leave your body and allow you to move forward without the toxic weight

[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_00]: of resentment and anger that is no longer serving you.

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_00]: Step five, just imagine with empathy.

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Visualize that this person has a five-year-old child within them

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_00]: who is wounded and in need of desperate love.

[00:05:14] [SPEAKER_00]: And know this, every person walking around is carrying their inner child

[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_00]: who has been wounded in some way in dealing with their own insecurities and fears.

[00:05:23] [SPEAKER_00]: Once upon a time, they were a beautiful sweet baby,

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_00]: but along the way somewhere something happened to them.

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: When you find yourself in moments where you need to calm yourself ASAP,

[00:05:32] [SPEAKER_00]: there is an exercise I learned years ago that has also been really helpful.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Take each finger to your thumb while closing your eyes and say,

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_00]: peace begins with me.

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_00]: In doing these steps, owning what's yours, communicating your feelings,

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_00]: releasing negative energy and learning to react with peace

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_00]: is providing yourself with a calming and optimistic environment

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_00]: for everyone around you.

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_00]: In conclusion, we can't successfully move on from resentment

[00:06:00] [SPEAKER_00]: without bringing in guidance from a higher power

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_00]: because our personal love is filled with our hurts and wounds.

[00:06:06] [SPEAKER_00]: We are spiritual beings on a human journey,

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_00]: and when we secretly pray for the people who hurt us,

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_00]: putting ego aside and inviting God's pure,

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_00]: unconditional love into these situations, magic happens.

[00:06:18] [SPEAKER_00]: These steps take practice and you may need to do them more than once.

[00:06:21] [SPEAKER_00]: However, with practice comes progress, not perfection.

[00:06:25] [SPEAKER_00]: And with progress comes positive movement and grace.

[00:06:29] [SPEAKER_00]: You've got this, sister.

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_00]: Love, Irene.

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_00]: You just listened to the post titled,

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_00]: How to Let Go of Anger When You've Been Hurt

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_00]: by Irene Elias of selflovejunkie.com.

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_00]: And I'll be back in just a sec with my commentary.

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_00]: Thanks so much to Irene for that article and the insight she shared.

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Particular thanks to her for providing practical tools

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_00]: and exercises for those in need,

[00:06:54] [SPEAKER_00]: as such things are typically a lot more useful than simply theorizing,

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_00]: and we don't get as many of those recommendations on the show.

[00:07:01] [SPEAKER_00]: So, a lot of value provided on behalf of Irene today.

[00:07:04] [SPEAKER_00]: That brings us to the end of today's episode though, dear friends.

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for joining us and I hope you learned several new ways

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_00]: to bring more peace and calmness into your life.

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Tomorrow we start our parenting portion for the week,

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_00]: so I will see you there where your optimal life awaits.