2310: How to Fit Self Care into Your Day by Cara Harvey of A Purpose Driven Mom on Motherhood

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[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_01]: This is Optimal Relationships Daily, How to Fit Self Care into Your Day by Cara Harvey

[00:00:24] [SPEAKER_01]: of A Purpose Driven Mom.com. Hello everybody, happy Friday and I am here to narrate a variety

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[00:00:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Today I am narrating a post from Cara Harvey on how moms can schedule in self-care,

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_01]: which applies to dads too by the way. So if you are feeling overwhelmed,

[00:00:58] [SPEAKER_01]: which you probably are at least marginally if you're a parent, then listen up as we start

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_01]: optimizing your life. How to Fit Self Care into Your Day by Cara Harvey of A Purpose Driven Mom.com.

[00:01:16] [SPEAKER_01]: What is self-care for moms? The term self-care has most definitely become a buzzword recently,

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_01]: and while it sounds like it's mostly spa days and taking naps, self-care is so much more.

[00:01:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Self-care means realizing that you need to fill up your cup or you're no good to those

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_01]: who need you. Self-care is taking time for self-love and being proud of yourself for doing

[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_01]: so. Self-care is doing the things that make you feel less stressed, set yourself up for

[00:01:44] [SPEAKER_01]: success, and live a more enjoyable life. But the thing is, most moms don't spend much time

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_01]: with self-care. Why Moms Don't Do Self Care. One of the top reasons that the moms I work

[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_01]: with don't spend time on themselves is that they feel they're too busy to do so. I mean,

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_01]: here's the thing, we're all pretty dang busy. There are not enough hours in the day to do

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_01]: everything we need to get done, and life can get pretty crazy. But that doesn't mean we

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_01]: neglect ourselves. I make sure to take time daily for tiny forms of self-care, from reading

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_01]: for 10 minutes to exercising to simply decompressing with a cup of tea at the end of the night.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER_01]: You don't need to take a weekend to go to a quiet retreat, though it would be nice

[00:02:30] [SPEAKER_01]: to do self-care, and so often as moms if we can't do things perfectly,

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER_01]: we don't do them at all. We find time to do the things that are priorities to us,

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_01]: the things that we think are important are the ones that get done during the day,

[00:02:44] [SPEAKER_01]: and self-care like anything else isn't about having the time, it's about making the time.

[00:02:50] [SPEAKER_01]: You need to prioritize you. Find pockets, schedule dates with yourselves, and make yourself

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_01]: a priority. The second reason I hear from moms for not doing self-care, and the one

[00:03:01] [SPEAKER_01]: that honestly can trip me up too, is Mom-Guilt, which if you struggle with this head over

[00:03:07] [SPEAKER_01]: now and get the book Mom Set Free, it is life-changing.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_01]: Ugh, the dreaded Mom-Guilt. I have it a few times a day, and it often rears its ugly head

[00:03:17] [SPEAKER_01]: when I am about to do something that I want to do. It's that voice that always just pops up

[00:03:22] [SPEAKER_01]: when I'm about to take 60 minutes to get work done in the office while my mother-in-law stays

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_01]: with the kids, the one that tells me to take a quick shower, and the voice that makes

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER_01]: me feel bad that I let my kids watch an episode of Daniel Tiger while I work out.

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_01]: But mamas, we gotta shut that dang voice up. We deserve to take some time during the day

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_01]: to center ourselves and do what makes us happy. So often moms lose themselves in being mom,

[00:03:47] [SPEAKER_01]: and eventually can get grumpy, bitter, and unhappy. It's so important that we take time

[00:03:53] [SPEAKER_01]: for us because we set the mood for our homes. How many times have you snapped or been in a

[00:03:59] [SPEAKER_01]: bad mood and all of a sudden you can see everyone else's shoulders lowered just a little

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_01]: bit? Have you ever been cranky and can feel everyone else get cranky too? As a mom,

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_01]: it's up to us to set the tone and move for our homes, and when we feel good, confident,

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_01]: and happy, that radiates to our family. It is also up to us to be the example for our

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_01]: children. If all your children see is a mom who takes on everything, never gets help,

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_01]: takes breaks, and is stressed out, then that is the image of mom that gets ingrained in their

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_01]: brains. That might be the type of mom they are when they get older or the way that they

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_01]: treat their future wife. Decide to change the tone in your home. Decide that you matter enough

[00:04:44] [SPEAKER_01]: for some me time and decide that it's time to prioritize you. Now, how the heck do you

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_01]: do that? What is self-care? Self-care comes in many forms and can look differently for

[00:04:56] [SPEAKER_01]: person. Like I mentioned above, it can totally be a massage or a trip to the spa,

[00:05:02] [SPEAKER_01]: but it can also be as simple as a phone call with a friend that fuels your soul.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_01]: Why schedule self-care? Self-care doesn't need to be complicated,

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_01]: but it does need to be scheduled. If I don't create routines around my self-care,

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_01]: such as daily exercise, reading, or even when I'll shower, it won't happen. If I

[00:05:26] [SPEAKER_01]: won't see each other for 6 months or longer, it's just the way life and human behavior is.

[00:05:31] [SPEAKER_01]: My suggestion is to make sure you put in your planner one thing you can do each day that fuels

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_01]: you. If you check out the above list, you can certainly find something that takes 15 minutes

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_01]: or less just to feel like you again. The most common form of self-care in my home

[00:05:47] [SPEAKER_01]: is listening to worship music and singing. All day long we have worship going on our echo

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_01]: and if I notice I'm a little snippy, I can typically pinpoint it to the fact that our music is off.

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Once a month, schedule out a self-care habit that is 30 minutes or longer.

[00:06:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Let your spouse know you're taking some time to do whatever it is and enjoy.

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Let go of the guilt, go to Groupon and find something you want to do,

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_01]: and just be you again. It'll make you a better and more cheerful mom

[00:06:16] [SPEAKER_01]: and bring much more fun into your life. And I know what you're saying,

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_01]: well that's nice for you but I can't take a long bubble bath every day.

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Well neither can I. And on those days I say some affirmations or make sure to enjoy my end of day

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_01]: tea and realize that it's just the season I'm in. But I'll tell you what, I have never

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_01]: regretted treating myself well. I have never regretted doing something that I know will make

[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_01]: me happier for myself, my family, and my kids. And when I do take care of myself,

[00:06:47] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm reminded of how valuable and loved I am. And guess what, so are you.

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_01]: So grab a positive podcast, stare at some clouds or spend some time planning your meals for the

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_01]: next week so that you have less stress in the next few days. They are all important forms of

[00:07:03] [SPEAKER_01]: self-care and you deserve it. You just listened to the post titled,

[00:07:12] [SPEAKER_01]: How To Fit Self-Care Into Your Day by Kara Harvey of A Purpose Driven Mom.com

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_01]: And thank you Kara, not only for the wise words but also for what I can only assume was a shout

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_01]: out to us with that whole positive podcast comment. But really though, very very interesting

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_01]: stuff about the example we set for our children specifically when we overwork ourselves and don't

[00:07:36] [SPEAKER_01]: take time for self-care. Really important to note that the way we treat ourselves and what

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER_01]: our children see from us definitely plays a part in how they see both themselves as individuals

[00:07:47] [SPEAKER_01]: also how they might be inclined to see others or to gender stereotype others.

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER_01]: It's a great great call. So if self-care ever feels irresponsible somehow as it seems more for

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_01]: you than the kids, just remember how beneficial it really is to both. That is it though for now.

[00:08:03] [SPEAKER_01]: I hope you have a wonderful weekend and please do remember to schedule in some

[00:08:07] [SPEAKER_01]: all important time for self-care. I will see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.