2327: Is Your Child Highly Sensitive? by Kelly Eden with Highly Sensitive Refuge on Parenthood & Emotional Intelligence

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[00:00:17] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Is Your Child Highly Sensitive by Kelly Eden with

[00:00:24] Highly Sensitive Refuge.com. Hello, everybody. Greg Audino here, welcoming you back to the

[00:00:31] show that's all about improving your relationships. Today's post is all about how to look for

[00:00:36] the signs that your child could be highly sensitive. And if you identify as or think

[00:00:40] you might be a highly sensitive adult, you'll probably feel like this post really, really

[00:00:45] speaks to you. So, let's get right into Kelly's post and start optimizing your life.

[00:00:54] Is Your Child Highly Sensitive by Kelly Eden with Highly Sensitive Refuge.com.

[00:01:01] I wish I'd known when I had my babies that I was a highly sensitive person, and that they might be

[00:01:07] too. I look back now on a number of times when I was baffled by my first child's behavior.

[00:01:12] She was a premature baby, but the only one crying all the time in the NICU unit. During those early

[00:01:19] baby months, I often found myself shielding her eyes to avoid her getting overstimulated.

[00:01:25] No one else in my mother's group needed to do that with their babies. And as a toddler,

[00:01:29] she was social and happy, but she would become overwhelmed easily, start crying, and just not

[00:01:35] be able to calm herself down. I can see now that those moments were actually a sign of her highly

[00:01:41] sensitive nature. Highly sensitive kids are amazing. In our society, sensitivity can be seen as a

[00:01:47] problem or disadvantage. When you have a baby or young child that gets overstimulated, has trouble

[00:01:53] sleeping, and finds it hard to self-soothe, it definitely seems like a problem. But there are many

[00:01:59] incredible things about being highly sensitive. Highly sensitive people are empathetic to others

[00:02:04] and animals, are very tuned into emotions, think deeply, and see details others miss.

[00:02:10] Highly sensitive kids are curious, full of wonder, kind, and reflective. They surprise

[00:02:16] you with their ideas and the little amazing things that they notice in the world around them.

[00:02:21] What makes someone highly sensitive? About 15 to 20 percent of the population are highly

[00:02:26] sensitive. It's also a trait that both introverts and extroverts can have. Often, people think HSPs

[00:02:32] are shy or timid, but that's not necessarily accurate. Yes, highly sensitive people can be

[00:02:38] shy and quiet, but they can also be confident, talkative, or excitable. Highly sensitive looks

[00:02:44] different in different people, but according to Dr. Elaine Aron, there are four areas,

[00:02:50] D-O-E-S, that all highly sensitive people share to some degree.

[00:02:54] Number one, depth of processing. Highly sensitive people think deeply about things.

[00:03:00] They reflect on ideas or on what they have seen or done. They often spend a lot of time thinking

[00:03:05] before they act or take a long time making decisions. Number two, overstimulation. Highly

[00:03:12] sensitive people, especially children, get overstimulated more easily than others of the

[00:03:17] same age because of all the deep processing and detail noticing that they are doing. Of course,

[00:03:22] all young children and babies get overstimulated sometimes, the world is so new. So the key element

[00:03:28] here is that they are more easily overwhelmed by stimulation than others their age.

[00:03:33] Number three, empathy and emotional responsiveness. Feelings are the language of highly

[00:03:39] sensitive people. They view the world through an emotional lens. HSPs are extremely aware of their

[00:03:45] own emotions and those of others, and can even feel or take on the emotions of others.

[00:03:50] Number four, sensitivity to subtleties. HSPs tend to notice things or make connections that

[00:03:57] others fail to see. They're naturals when it comes to picking up on little details or subtle cues.

[00:04:03] This doesn't mean they have super hearing or vision. It's simply what happens when the nervous

[00:04:08] system is wired to process stimulation deeply. The result is that HSPs will notice seemingly

[00:04:13] insignificant distractions, noises, smells, or tastes that others don't seem to notice.

[00:04:19] Highly sensitive people have all four of these aspects. Some other traits or conditions, such

[00:04:24] as giftedness, autism, sensory processing disorder, anxiety, and ADHD can overlap with high sensitivity.

[00:04:31] For example, a child with autism may despise the smell of hot dogs cooking in the school cafeteria.

[00:04:38] A highly sensitive child may also be quite bothered by the smell. However, autism and other conditions

[00:04:43] are not the same as high sensitivity, and they have different biological roots. Also, be aware that

[00:04:49] someone can be both highly sensitive and have ADHD, for example. Signs your child is highly sensitive.

[00:04:57] Is your child highly sensitive? Here are 11 things to look for. Number one, time limits and deadlines

[00:05:03] or harsh correction causes a meltdown. Number two, they ask a lot of deep questions.

[00:05:10] Number three, they seem to be an old soul or very intuitive. They often surprise you with their

[00:05:15] wisdom. Number four, they notice when others are feeling down even if the other person hasn't

[00:05:21] expressed it out loud. Number five, they're quite bothered by noisy places like a restaurant or a

[00:05:27] daycare or get easily distracted by repetitive sounds like a ticking clock. Number six, they feel

[00:05:34] things deeply and are highly emotional. Number seven, they can't stand certain sensations like

[00:05:41] wet clothes. Number eight, generally they prefer quiet play over very active play. Number nine,

[00:05:48] they may use large words for their age. Number ten, they don't cope well with change or big surprises.

[00:05:56] And number eleven, they notice details such as an art or nature or if something has been changed.

[00:06:03] Each child is different and especially if they are an extrovert or high sensation seeker,

[00:06:07] they might behave differently than the ways described in this list but still fit into the

[00:06:12] four highly sensitive aspects above. Want to learn more? Check out Dr. Elaine Aron's book

[00:06:17] The Highly Sensitive Child if you think your child may be a highly sensitive person.

[00:06:26] You just listened to the post titled, Is Your Child Highly Sensitive? by Kelly Eden with highly

[00:06:32] sensitive refuge dot com. HSP's are people that are not talked about frequently let alone understood.

[00:06:39] I would guess that the majority of people did not even know that HSPs exist as their own category

[00:06:44] of persons. So thank you to Kelly for educating us and please everyone keep her teachings in mind

[00:06:50] when someone around you is maybe behaving in a way that is more sensitive than you're used to

[00:06:54] and you're tempted to judge. The more people we can learn about the better we can be at living in

[00:06:59] harmony here on this planet. So let's be mindful of HSPs and anyone who might be different from us,

[00:07:05] which you guessed it is everyone, at least in little traces. With that, let's sign off on

[00:07:11] today's episode. Thank you so much for joining me here once again. I will be back tomorrow

[00:07:15] where your optimal life awaits.