2334: How to Find Happiness as a Single Parent by Stacy Kaiser with LiveHappy on Mindful Parenting & Support Systems

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[00:00:26] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, How to Find Happiness as a Single Parent by Stacy Kaiser with LiveHappy.com

[00:00:35] Hello everybody, I am Greg Audino and welcome to ORD. As you may know, parenting content is usually featured towards the end of the week and here we are, it is Friday.

[00:00:48] And here today, we are hoping the single parents out there will get a lot from this episode in particular. If you are a single parent, you are well aware of the challenges and struggles that you face on a daily basis.

[00:00:59] So, let's learn more from Stacy Kaiser about how to make the most of those struggles and start optimizing your life.

[00:01:10] How to Find Happiness as a Single Parent by Stacy Kaiser with LiveHappy.com

[00:01:18] Being a single parent can be one of the most exhausting yet joyful experiences a person could have.

[00:01:25] You are burdened with the same challenges as a two-parent family, but you are doing it alone.

[00:01:30] You get to do all of the work, yes. However, you also reap most of the rewards.

[00:01:36] I am a single parent, and I have often been asked how I can remain so happy and energetic while juggling two children, work, and all of the responsibilities of a household.

[00:01:45] The truth is that I have always felt empowered by being a single mother.

[00:01:50] I have gained strength from knowing that I am in control of the bulk of the decisions in my life and my children's lives.

[00:01:57] I have also found great joy in immersing myself in activities with my children, and have appreciated the chance to share those moments with them.

[00:02:04] A study published in the Journal of Happiness confirmed exactly what it is that I have been feeling,

[00:02:09] stating that single parents are just as happy as their married counterparts in spite of the fact that they have more challenging circumstances.

[00:02:18] Very few of us plan to raise our children alone.

[00:02:21] Part of the challenge is the adjustment of going from a co-parenting household to shouldering the responsibilities on our own.

[00:02:28] The way most seem to handle it is by putting our own wants and needs aside and immersing ourselves in our children.

[00:02:35] While this seems altruistic, if you deprive yourself of the self-care and nurturing you need as an individual,

[00:02:42] it will eventually have a negative effect on the family as a whole.

[00:02:46] Nurture yourself

[00:02:47] Our well-being as individuals has a huge impact on our ability to be a truly focused and motivated parent,

[00:02:54] because when we don't take care of ourselves, we wind up burnt out and depleted.

[00:02:59] After raising my kids as a single parent through most of their school years, I have a lot of reasons to be happy.

[00:03:06] My kids bring me great joy, and I have a lot of pride and pleasure about how well we have managed and thrived as a family.

[00:03:15] That said, there were definitely struggles and times when I felt angry, sad, and even scared.

[00:03:21] Throughout the process, I have leaned on certain tools and ideas to help lift my spirits and get me back on track.

[00:03:28] Number one, get rest.

[00:03:30] To start, you need to make sure to carve out time to rest.

[00:03:34] Try to eat nutritious meals when you can and make sure you drink lots of water during the day.

[00:03:39] As a single parent, you have to treat yourself almost like an endurance athlete.

[00:03:43] Once the kids go to sleep, curl up with a good book, indulge in your favorite TV show, or escape into a warm bath.

[00:03:50] Whatever you do, don't waste that precious downtime.

[00:03:54] Every so often, ask a friend or family member, or your ex-spouse if possible, to watch the kids so you can have some time alone.

[00:04:02] Number two, build relationships.

[00:04:05] As a single parent, you often need to rely on the kindness and assistance of others.

[00:04:10] Pull in those people that you know that you can count on, and ask them for help as needed.

[00:04:14] One of the best things you can do as a single parent is build relationships with other single parents so you can help each other.

[00:04:21] I had a friend who was also a single mom, and we took turns occasionally watching each other's kids so that the other could have a break.

[00:04:29] We also took the kids out together so that we could have another set of adult eyes and hands around.

[00:04:34] Our kids had fun, we had companionship, and we knew we could rely on each other.

[00:04:39] Number three, set goals and prioritize.

[00:04:43] It is much easier to accomplish a lot of tasks and to keep from feeling completely overwhelmed by it all if you're organized.

[00:04:50] Make lists, keep a master calendar, establish plans, and constantly evaluate your goals and priorities.

[00:04:57] If you need help in this area, ask people you know or professionals for guidance.

[00:05:02] Number four, enlist the help of your kids.

[00:05:06] Have your kids help you with age-appropriate chores.

[00:05:08] If they can wash a dish, assign them that task.

[00:05:11] If they're too young, they can clear the dishes from the table.

[00:05:15] Teach your children that they are important and responsible members of a family.

[00:05:19] Chores are one way they can do their part.

[00:05:22] Number five, find positivity during tough times.

[00:05:26] Sometimes the schedule is hectic.

[00:05:28] The kids are screaming and you're past your limit.

[00:05:31] In those moments, our minds start saying,

[00:05:33] I can't do this.

[00:05:34] My life is too hard.

[00:05:35] I know it's hard.

[00:05:37] But see if you can flip the emotional switch and think of something positive.

[00:05:42] That you are in good health.

[00:05:43] That you manage to pay your bills each month.

[00:05:46] Or that you have the kindest next-door neighbor.

[00:05:48] When the kids themselves are driving you crazy, focus on the positives about them.

[00:05:53] They're great at math.

[00:05:54] They gave you a thoughtful birthday gift.

[00:05:56] Or they make you smile when they smile.

[00:05:58] After all, they are the reason we work so hard.

[00:06:02] And the source of our greatest happiness.

[00:06:08] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:06:10] How to Find Happiness as a Single Parent.

[00:06:13] By Stacey Kaiser with LiveHappy.com

[00:06:17] Thanks to Stacey Kaiser and her words today.

[00:06:19] A wonderful article as always.

[00:06:21] Yes, being a single parent is one of the most chaotic lifestyles we can really think about.

[00:06:26] But I feel as though today's episode was a really great reminder that we can still find order and healthy structure in anything should we make the effort to.

[00:06:35] And single parenting, while it is challenging, is no different.

[00:06:38] So we all thank Stacey for her words.

[00:06:40] And we encourage single parents, coupled parents, non-parents, robots, zebras, whomever, to check out more of her work.

[00:06:48] And also to check out more at LiveHappy.com.

[00:06:51] Thank you for coming by, everyone.

[00:06:52] Just a quick reminder that if you like what we do and you don't want to miss a beat,

[00:06:56] you can stay updated with weekly recommendations on personal growth tips and more

[00:07:00] by subscribing to our free weekly newsletter at oldpodcast.com.

[00:07:05] Make sure to spend some time nurturing yourself this weekend.

[00:07:08] Promise me that.

[00:07:09] Thank you so much for joining me here once again.

[00:07:11] I will be back tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.