2340: [Part 2] Love Is Not A Thing by Will Penney of Be Better Stupid on Self-Love & The Power of Showing Love

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Episode 2340:

Will Penney challenges the notion of self-love, arguing that it isn't about constantly feeling good about yourself but consistently acting in your long-term best interest. He extends this philosophy to loving others, emphasizing the power of showing love through actions, even when feelings of affection aren’t present, and how this approach can positively impact those around you.

Read along with the original article(s) here: http://bebetterstupid.com/love-is-not-a-thing/

Quotes to ponder:

"You don’t have to feel love for yourself, like, at all - and certainly not all the time."

"Consistently doing the loving thing for yourself is vital. This makes others more open to loving you, and it trains you in how you treat others."

"You can always approach someone with intent of putting them first, to think about their needs, and to move heaven and earth for them as if they’re the most important person in the world."

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[00:00:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, Love Is Not A Thing, Part 2 by Will Penney of BeBetterStupid.com

[00:00:09] Hello everybody, I am Greg Audino and welcome back to Hump Day here on ORD.

[00:00:15] I'll be covering Part 2 of a post from Will Penney of BeBetterStupid.com

[00:00:19] And a little note, he uses a lot of, we'll say naughty words, but we do bleep out anything even on the borderline of what could be considered explicit.

[00:00:28] So, you won't hear it, but I'm sure you'll be able to make out the words if you think real hard about it.

[00:00:34] Meanwhile, we've had quite a time editing this one. Enough of that though. Let's get into Will's post and continue optimizing your life.

[00:00:47] Love Is Not A Thing, Part 2 by Will Penney of BeBetterStupid.com

[00:00:54] Loving Yourself

[00:00:55] You need to love yourself before you can love other people. This is true. But here's the good news.

[00:01:01] You don't have to feel love for yourself, like, at all, and certainly not all the time.

[00:01:07] If you feel love for yourself all the time, you have something seriously wrong with you.

[00:01:12] Something is f***ed up in your head if, in this constantly evolving, imperfect, messy world, your end mental result to everything is something like,

[00:01:21] but boy, I sure am really awesome, and giving yourself a high five.

[00:01:25] If you hold out on getting into a relationship because, I need to love myself first, and that's what you think loving yourself is most relevant, you'll never get into a relationship.

[00:01:36] Loving yourself in your head is irrelevant. Consistently doing the loving thing for yourself is vital.

[00:01:42] This makes others more open to loving you, and trains you in how to treat others.

[00:01:47] If you treat yourself like f***, you will in some way treat others like f*** as well.

[00:01:52] People struggle with this because they don't know what it means to love oneself.

[00:01:56] They think that doing the loving thing for yourself is having two pints of Ben & Jerry's and watching lots of shows about middle-aged rich ladies with too much plastic surgery.

[00:02:06] They think it's about doing what feels the best right now.

[00:02:12] Being yourself is about doing what is best for yourself. It's about loving the future you.

[00:02:16] It's not about what you want right now. It's about getting yourself closer to what you really want in your life in general.

[00:02:23] It's sacrificing the ice cream you want for the abs you really want.

[00:02:28] It's sacrificing the d*** listicle you want for the success on a project you really want.

[00:02:33] It's sacrificing seeing literally every single Marvel movie for doing... I don't know, anything that will help you long-term at all.

[00:02:42] Love yourself in this way before you bring someone else into your mess.

[00:02:47] Loving everyone.

[00:02:49] There are people out there who claim to love everyone, like they claim that they feel love for everyone in the world.

[00:02:55] These people are 98% liars and 2% total and complete lunatics.

[00:03:02] You really only have so much capacity to feel love.

[00:03:06] Most of us can't extend that beyond our family and like three friends max.

[00:03:11] Don't ever think that it's a good thing to be able to feel love for everybody you meet.

[00:03:15] It's not. It's weird and almost always fraudulent.

[00:03:19] You don't love the guy you don't know who smells like f*** on the bus.

[00:03:23] You don't love your co-workers.

[00:03:25] You don't actually love thy neighbor. Not like that. Gross.

[00:03:29] But here's the good news.

[00:03:31] You do have endless capacity to show love.

[00:03:34] You can always approach someone with the intent of putting them first.

[00:03:38] To think about their needs and to move heaven and earth for them as if they're the most important person in the world in a given moment.

[00:03:45] You can always assume the best of someone and not be a judgmental know-it-all p*** to anyone.

[00:03:51] You can approach everyone on the p*** earth leading with love and seeking out the best for them.

[00:03:56] And you can do it while thinking they're all p***.

[00:03:59] And that's the really noble, powerful, magical love.

[00:04:04] That's the kind that can change the world.

[00:04:07] It's the kind where you stick to your vow to show love to someone forever,

[00:04:10] no matter how much they get into model trains when they turn 45.

[00:04:14] It's to always try to sacrifice your current self in favor of future you.

[00:04:19] It's to act like a total stranger as your brother and to love him as such,

[00:04:24] even if on the inside you're thinking,

[00:04:26] God, this guy sucks.

[00:04:28] A lot of people out there aren't loved in the sense that nobody feels love for them.

[00:04:33] And that may never change.

[00:04:34] Some people are a p*** who frankly don't deserve love.

[00:04:37] And some just have f***y luck.

[00:04:39] Or a face that's tough to get past.

[00:04:41] But you can show everybody love.

[00:04:44] And showing love to people who would otherwise become bitter a p***y

[00:04:48] is how you make fewer bad people.

[00:04:50] And that's so f***ing valuable.

[00:04:52] So feel love for whoever brings the love out of you.

[00:04:56] And put your focus on those people in general.

[00:04:59] Sure.

[00:04:59] But show love as much as you can all the time.

[00:05:03] Act with love whenever possible.

[00:05:05] Make your default to your family, your fellow man and lady,

[00:05:09] and perhaps most importantly, yourself.

[00:05:12] Lead with love in your actions no matter what.

[00:05:15] Even if your feelings do mostly amount to f*** this guy.

[00:05:19] Anyway, you just listened to part two of the post titled

[00:05:27] Love is Not a Thing by Will Penny of BeBetterStupid.com

[00:05:32] Alright, that wraps up Will's article.

[00:05:35] A nice, frank, and unpopular opinion on what it means to love.

[00:05:39] While some may find this perceived lack of magic to be disheartening,

[00:05:44] I enjoy honoring the nuances of all emotions we might face.

[00:05:47] Even when we have the best of intentions,

[00:05:49] denying the fact that we sometimes do not feel love for someone we feel we're supposed to, for example,

[00:05:56] only cheapens the relationship we stand to have with them, and with ourselves.

[00:06:00] It is much easier to act with love or whatever we want to act with,

[00:06:04] if we're first honest about the details of the feelings beneath those actions.

[00:06:09] And I think Will illustrated that both nicely and colorfully.

[00:06:13] And we are all finished for today, folks.

[00:06:15] I hope you're having a fantastic week so far.

[00:06:18] Here's to better relationships.

[00:06:19] And I will see you again tomorrow as we move towards the end of the week

[00:06:22] with some parenting posts, where your optimal life awaits.

[00:06:27] Bye.