2345: How to Teach Your Kids to Build Tiny Habits (And Why it’s Important) by Kalen Bruce of Freedom Sprout

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[00:00:43] This is Optimal Relationships Daily.

[00:00:45] How to Teach Your Kids to Build Tiny Habits And Why It's Important by Kalen Bruce of freedomsprout.com.

[00:00:53] Hello, everybody, and welcome to the show where I narrate all sorts of content to improve your relationships.

[00:00:59] I am your host, Greg Audino.

[00:01:01] As you know, there are many different types of relationships, so tune in for episodes on dating, friendships, self-worth, and a lot more.

[00:01:08] We cover it all in one episode or another, I promise you that much.

[00:01:12] Now, have you ever wondered how you could help your kids build new habits?

[00:01:17] If so, you are in luck.

[00:01:18] In today's post, Kalen Bruce shares his experience teaching tiny habits to kids.

[00:01:23] So, let's get right into it and start optimizing your life.

[00:01:31] How to Teach Your Kids to Build Tiny Habits And Why It's Important by Kalen Bruce of freedomsprout.com

[00:01:40] Habits are most easily built when you start small.

[00:01:43] Learning to start small is easiest when you are small.

[00:01:47] Habits is a system created by B.J. Fogg, Ph.D., head of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University.

[00:01:54] He's been studying how people change behaviors for over 20 years, and now you can apply his research in your parenting.

[00:02:02] Have you heard it takes 21 days to build a habit?

[00:02:05] Actually, one popular study showed it takes 66 days.

[00:02:09] Did you know that neither of those are correct for every habit?

[00:02:11] Each time a habit is built, the time it takes to form is based on three things.

[00:02:17] Number one, the person forming the habit.

[00:02:20] Number two, the habit itself.

[00:02:22] Number three, the context in which the habit is being built.

[00:02:26] If you hate doing something, it will take you longer to build the habit.

[00:02:30] If you love doing something, it will take less time.

[00:02:32] If it's within your wheelhouse already, it will take less time.

[00:02:36] If it isn't, more time.

[00:02:38] You get the idea.

[00:02:38] The best part is, it doesn't matter how long it takes.

[00:02:42] It just matters that you create and help your children create positive habits.

[00:02:46] The power is in starting small.

[00:02:48] The real power is in starting tiny.

[00:02:52] The Tiny Habits Method

[00:02:53] I've been following Dr. Fogg and his research since 2010.

[00:02:58] I've used his system to create tiny habits in my life.

[00:03:02] Many of these habits have compounded into much larger habits.

[00:03:05] Some are still tiny.

[00:03:07] Some habits should grow, while others don't need to.

[00:03:10] Habits like running, writing, reading, and lifting weights can start tiny and become huge gradually.

[00:03:16] Other habits, like a morning gratitude practice, flossing, and affirmations,

[00:03:21] may only take a few minutes or less, so no need to increase.

[00:03:24] While these small changes are simple, there is a method to it.

[00:03:29] If you want to teach your kids the easiest way to create lasting habits,

[00:03:33] you'll need to understand the method.

[00:03:35] It starts with the Fogg Behavioral Model.

[00:03:38] B equals MAP.

[00:03:40] B for Behavior Happens When,

[00:03:44] M, Motivation,

[00:03:46] A for Ability,

[00:03:48] and P for Prompt converge at the same moment.

[00:03:51] The recipe looks like this.

[00:03:54] After I blank,

[00:03:56] I will blank,

[00:03:57] and then celebrate.

[00:03:59] That's a recipe for a tiny habit.

[00:04:01] You can get recipe cards to fill out with your kids.

[00:04:04] To make it simple,

[00:04:05] the ABCs of behavior design are

[00:04:08] 1. Anchor Movement

[00:04:10] An existing habit that reminds you to do the new behavior,

[00:04:14] i.e. after I brush my teeth,

[00:04:16] I will blank.

[00:04:18] 2. New Tiny Behavior

[00:04:21] A tiny version of the habit you want to create,

[00:04:25] i.e. I will do two push-ups or floss one tooth.

[00:04:29] 3. Instant Celebration

[00:04:31] A small celebration to create a positive feeling internally.

[00:04:36] This must occur immediately,

[00:04:38] i.e. saying,

[00:04:39] yes, or awesome.

[00:04:41] Dr. Fogg calls this feeling,

[00:04:42] shine.

[00:04:43] It's a simple concept.

[00:04:45] You find something you already do,

[00:04:47] an established habit,

[00:04:48] attach a tiny habit,

[00:04:49] and build the habit over time.

[00:04:51] There are seven steps in the process.

[00:04:54] Seven steps in behavior design.

[00:04:57] Step 1. Clarify the aspiration.

[00:05:01] Step 2. Explore behavior options.

[00:05:04] Step 3. Match with specific behaviors.

[00:05:09] Step 4. Start tiny.

[00:05:12] Step 5. Find a good prompt.

[00:05:14] Step 6. Celebrate successes.

[00:05:18] Step 7. Troubleshoot, iterate, and expand.

[00:05:22] 1. Clarify the aspiration.

[00:05:25] First, you must figure out what you're trying to do.

[00:05:28] This is the habit you're building.

[00:05:30] 2. Explore behavior options.

[00:05:33] Next, figure out what you already do

[00:05:35] and what you're likely to stick with.

[00:05:38] 3. Match with specific behaviors.

[00:05:40] Now, figure out which current behavior

[00:05:43] you can attach the new habit to.

[00:05:45] 4. Start tiny.

[00:05:47] You'll want to start extremely small,

[00:05:50] something that only takes seconds.

[00:05:52] 5. Find a good prompt.

[00:05:55] Find a part of your existing routine

[00:05:57] that prompts the new habit.

[00:05:59] 6. Celebrate successes.

[00:06:02] This is huge.

[00:06:04] It may sound silly at first,

[00:06:06] but you must celebrate in a small way

[00:06:08] to train your mind.

[00:06:10] This ensures the habits stick.

[00:06:12] It's a sort of mind hack,

[00:06:14] but the celebration must be immediate

[00:06:16] or your brain won't connect it to the new habit.

[00:06:18] Dr. Fogg explains how rewarding yourself

[00:06:21] with a massage after a week

[00:06:22] of working out consistently is great,

[00:06:24] but that's an incentive.

[00:06:26] Your brain can't connect the two

[00:06:28] since they're so far apart.

[00:06:30] Immediate celebration is directly connected

[00:06:32] to your new habit.

[00:06:34] 7. Troubleshoot, iterate, and expand.

[00:06:38] Think of building a new habit like budgeting.

[00:06:41] It doesn't always work right away.

[00:06:43] If something isn't working out,

[00:06:45] troubleshoot the habit to see

[00:06:46] why you're forgetting to do it

[00:06:47] or why it's hard for you to get started.

[00:06:50] The habit could be too large

[00:06:52] or you could be trying to prompt it

[00:06:54] at the wrong time.

[00:06:55] To iterate, simply keep performing the habit.

[00:06:58] Once the tiny habit is established,

[00:07:00] if it makes sense with the given habit,

[00:07:03] it's time to expand.

[00:07:04] When you're teaching your kids

[00:07:06] to build new habits,

[00:07:07] teach them to identify with the habit.

[00:07:10] This is just as important as starting small.

[00:07:13] Identity-based habits

[00:07:15] Identity-based habits are built

[00:07:17] when you shift your mindset

[00:07:18] to become a person of this new habit.

[00:07:21] Bring the,

[00:07:21] I'm the kind of person who,

[00:07:23] into the scenario.

[00:07:25] Once you identify with the new habit,

[00:07:27] you'll train your brain

[00:07:28] to become the person you want to be.

[00:07:30] Instead of trying to exercise,

[00:07:33] become a person who exercises regularly.

[00:07:36] Whether this is true today or not,

[00:07:38] you must become a person

[00:07:39] who never misses a workout

[00:07:41] or who never misses two days in a row.

[00:07:43] If you always think of yourself

[00:07:45] as becoming a fit person,

[00:07:47] it will be hard to get there.

[00:07:49] You have to identify as that person now.

[00:07:52] Here are some examples.

[00:07:53] Instead of,

[00:07:54] I want to write a book,

[00:07:56] say,

[00:07:56] I'm the kind of person who writes daily.

[00:07:59] Instead of,

[00:08:00] I want to be in shape,

[00:08:02] say,

[00:08:02] I'm the kind of person who exercises daily.

[00:08:05] Instead of,

[00:08:06] I want to run faster,

[00:08:08] say,

[00:08:08] I'm the kind of person who runs five days a week.

[00:08:11] It's not about brainwashing yourself

[00:08:13] to believe something that isn't true.

[00:08:15] It's about actually becoming the kind of person

[00:08:17] who does the new habit.

[00:08:19] This is similar to affirmations

[00:08:21] insofar as you're often stating something

[00:08:23] that isn't true,

[00:08:24] yet.

[00:08:25] Teaching tiny habits to kids.

[00:08:28] We're never taught how to build new habits,

[00:08:30] though children are often expected

[00:08:32] to build habits on their own.

[00:08:33] If they learn how to build these habits,

[00:08:36] it will be an easy practice

[00:08:38] they can take into adulthood.

[00:08:39] Make it fun for your kids.

[00:08:41] Teach them the basic idea of creating habits

[00:08:44] and start creating habits with them.

[00:08:46] My kids love working out

[00:08:48] and it's easy for kids

[00:08:49] to build their fitness quickly.

[00:08:50] You can start with the push-up habit.

[00:08:52] It's an easy one.

[00:08:53] Attach it to something they already do,

[00:08:55] like brushing their teeth.

[00:08:56] If they struggle to remember

[00:08:57] to brush their teeth daily,

[00:08:59] do it with them.

[00:09:00] Brush your teeth together

[00:09:01] and then do two push-ups.

[00:09:03] Once they get used to that,

[00:09:05] do three push-ups.

[00:09:06] In a few months,

[00:09:07] you could have a routine

[00:09:07] of brushing your teeth

[00:09:08] and doing 20 push-ups.

[00:09:10] You're teaching your kids

[00:09:11] how to build positive habits

[00:09:13] the whole time.

[00:09:14] You can also tie this into cleaning up.

[00:09:16] When mom or dad

[00:09:17] give the 15-minute warning for dinner time,

[00:09:20] I will put away my toys.

[00:09:22] Don't try to create 10 habits the first day.

[00:09:24] Start with one.

[00:09:25] Add more habits gradually.

[00:09:27] If you implement it in a fun way,

[00:09:29] your kids will see this as a game.

[00:09:31] If they continue to see it that way

[00:09:33] for the rest of their life,

[00:09:34] building habits will be a breeze.

[00:09:40] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:09:42] How to Teach Your Kids

[00:09:43] to Build Tiny Habits

[00:09:44] and Why It's Important

[00:09:45] by Kalen Bruce

[00:09:47] of freedomsprout.com

[00:09:49] And an awesome,

[00:09:51] well-researched post from Kalen,

[00:09:53] which we thank him for.

[00:09:54] Habit research is extremely interesting, guys.

[00:09:57] It goes without saying that

[00:09:59] our habits make the framework

[00:10:01] for our lives at large

[00:10:02] and that mastering habits

[00:10:04] is a simple and trustworthy way

[00:10:06] to make lasting,

[00:10:07] significant life changes.

[00:10:09] And as Kalen illustrated today,

[00:10:11] it doesn't require massive changes.

[00:10:13] It doesn't require you

[00:10:14] to flip your life upside down.

[00:10:17] small, minuscule changes

[00:10:18] build momentum

[00:10:19] and get us to where

[00:10:20] we need to be over time.

[00:10:22] And it starts today

[00:10:23] by changing maybe one

[00:10:24] or two minutes of your day

[00:10:26] at most.

[00:10:27] It's tried, it is true,

[00:10:28] and it is powerful.

[00:10:29] So thank you to Kalen

[00:10:30] for shining light on this today.

[00:10:32] We are done for today, though,

[00:10:34] my friends.

[00:10:34] Thank you so much for listening,

[00:10:36] and I will see you again tomorrow

[00:10:37] where your optimal life awaits.