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Episode 2348:
Clinging to the past after a breakup can stop you from moving forward in life. Eddie Corbano outlines five critical signs that indicate you're still not over your ex, including emotional pain, holding on to mementos, and struggling with self-worth. By recognizing these patterns, you'll be better equipped to heal and take steps toward personal growth.
Read along with the original article(s) here: https://lovesagame.com/5-main-signs-you-are-still-not-over-your-ex/
Quotes to ponder:
"Your mind is constantly replaying the breakup, over and over again, as if you’re stuck in a never-ending movie loop."
"You are defining your self-worth by whether your ex still cares about you."
"Letting go means truly closing the door on a chapter in your life that wasn’t meant to be."
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[00:00:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, 5 Main Signs You Are Not Over Your Ex by Eddie Corbano of Loves A Game dot com.
[00:00:10] Hello everybody, I am your host Greg Audino. Thank you for joining me for another day here at ORD.
[00:00:17] Obviously, though, we often don't talk about it, a big part of our relationships is the relationship that we have with ourselves after a relationship with someone else ends.
[00:00:27] Breakups especially provide such crucial times for us to look after ourselves and be honest with ourselves.
[00:00:34] But, we all know how confusing those times can be. That's why Eddie Corbano is back today to help us make sense of them and thus improve our relationships with ourselves.
[00:00:44] So let's take a look at what he has to say and start optimizing your life.
[00:00:53] 5 Main Signs You Are Not Over Your Ex by Eddie Corbano of Loves A Game dot com.
[00:01:01] One of the most fatal characteristics of breakup recovery is what I call the two-steps-forward, one-step-back phenomenon.
[00:01:08] Maybe you've experienced it already. You wake up one morning and feel great. During the next few hours, you notice that you haven't thought about your ex for a while.
[00:01:17] You feel energized and motivated to get out there and live your life. You feel happy. You feel good. That's it, you think. I'm finally over him or her.
[00:01:27] Until you experience that one moment, which unfortunately shows that you're far from it.
[00:01:33] Later that day, you see someone that looks exactly like your ex, or a friend you had not seen for a long time asks you how you two are doing.
[00:01:41] Or maybe you find something that belonged to him or her under the couch, and boom, you're back to square one.
[00:01:47] At least it feels that way.
[00:01:50] The truth is that you've made two steps forward, and now just one step back.
[00:01:55] But what it means is that you've still made one step forward.
[00:01:59] So you've actually made progress.
[00:02:01] We have to understand that breakup recovery is not a straight line.
[00:02:06] We don't go from complete breakdown to extreme happiness in just a certain amount of days.
[00:02:10] It is more like climbing a huge mountain.
[00:02:13] While doing the arduous climb to the next stages, we may trip, fall, and slide down to the previous base camp.
[00:02:20] And the thought that we have to make this horrible climb again seems unbearable.
[00:02:24] All these exertions for nothing?
[00:02:27] But it wasn't for nothing.
[00:02:28] Now that we know the biggest obstacles, we can hike past them and find better and faster trails.
[00:02:35] We didn't lose what we have learned along the way that we've already traveled.
[00:02:40] Five signs you are still not over your ex.
[00:02:43] After such a fall, you may ask yourself how you can know for sure that you are over your ex once and for all.
[00:02:50] There is one way to know.
[00:02:52] You know that you are definitely over your ex when you can stand in front of them,
[00:02:56] talk to them, know that they are in a new relationship, and feel nothing.
[00:03:01] That is the ultimate test.
[00:03:03] But I don't recommend doing that unless you are absolutely sure.
[00:03:06] Otherwise, it could throw you way back.
[00:03:09] What's easier to determine are signs that you are not over them.
[00:03:13] These are the recurring patterns that happen when we are still in the depression or rebuilding phase.
[00:03:18] You haven't let go of your ex if you experience one of the following.
[00:03:23] One, the urge to contact them is nearly uncontrollable.
[00:03:28] You feel an almost physical need to contact them, like hearing from them is crucial for your well-being.
[00:03:34] You have the urge to share your thoughts and worries with them as you did while you were still together.
[00:03:40] That means that you still think that your ex is your confidential person, the one you share your life with.
[00:03:46] Number two, the cyberstalking is killing you.
[00:03:50] We discussed the fatal consequences of cyberstalking many times before.
[00:03:55] But the main sign that you haven't moved on yet is not the fact that you are curious about their life.
[00:04:01] It is that it devastates you when you find out certain details.
[00:04:04] Remember, the ultimate goal is indifference.
[00:04:08] You're checking Facebook and there are your ex's newest pictures of his or her new life.
[00:04:13] And it kills you?
[00:04:14] Nope, you are still not over him or her.
[00:04:17] Number three, you have no clue why the relationship really ended.
[00:04:22] To understand and fully grasp the real reasons why the relationship ended in the first place
[00:04:27] so that you can learn from this experience is an essential part of moving on.
[00:04:32] So by implication, if you have no clue and you maybe blame yourself alone for blowing it,
[00:04:38] then you still have recovery work to do.
[00:04:41] Number four, you have the secret hope that everything will be as it was before.
[00:04:46] The false belief that your ex will eventually become the person he or she was before,
[00:04:51] given enough time, I love you assurances from you.
[00:04:55] Persistence and maybe even stalking is the main reason you may feel stuck.
[00:04:59] Letting go means accepting.
[00:05:02] And accepting means letting go of the hope of getting back together.
[00:05:06] Once you do, you take responsibility for your life and your recovery.
[00:05:11] Number five, you are caught in the what if and if only trap.
[00:05:16] You are still going through scenarios about what would have happened
[00:05:19] if you haven't done this or that.
[00:05:21] You are blaming yourself for the mistakes you think you've made,
[00:05:25] and you are convinced that it was solely your fault that the relationship ended.
[00:05:29] If you'd had only told them how much you loved them more often,
[00:05:32] or fought less, or cooked them more dinners,
[00:05:35] or brought them flowers, or whatever.
[00:05:37] If you find yourself caught in this fatal trap regularly,
[00:05:41] then you are still not over your ex.
[00:05:44] Conclusion
[00:05:46] Whether you are or you are not over them,
[00:05:49] you can only determine with the ultimate test I've stated earlier.
[00:05:52] But because this test can often do more harm than good,
[00:05:55] you can use the last signs to get a vague idea of how far you've come.
[00:06:00] In any case, I advise you not to rush yourself,
[00:06:03] and don't force your recovery,
[00:06:05] because it takes as long as it takes.
[00:06:07] Your friend, Eddie Corbano
[00:06:14] You just listened to the post titled,
[00:06:16] 5 Main Signs You Are Not Over Your Ex,
[00:06:19] by Eddie Corbano of lovesagame.com
[00:06:23] And thank you to Eddie for making some sense of breakup recovery,
[00:06:27] a skill of his that we do love showcasing.
[00:06:30] As he said, breakup recovery is much like climbing a mountain,
[00:06:33] with a lot of slips, slides, and general unpredictability.
[00:06:37] With that being the case, it can be very challenging to find landmarks,
[00:06:41] or checkpoints, if you will,
[00:06:43] that we can use to assess where we're at.
[00:06:45] But thanks to Eddie,
[00:06:47] we have some measuring sticks that can help us be truthful with ourselves,
[00:06:51] and know where we stand,
[00:06:52] and have more clarity because of it.
[00:06:54] Though we may find we're not as close to full recovery as we thought,
[00:06:58] or would hope to be,
[00:06:59] know that that's okay.
[00:07:01] These things do take time,
[00:07:02] and a better step for recovery is to be honest about exactly how much progress we've made,
[00:07:08] than trying to muscle through or deny any lingering pain.
[00:07:12] That is going to do it for today though, everyone.
[00:07:15] I appreciate you being here,
[00:07:16] and I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I did.
[00:07:18] And I will see you tomorrow,
[00:07:20] where your optimal life awaits.
[00:07:22] Thank you.