2354: Vulnerability by Catherine of Common Sense Living on How To Create Better Relationships

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[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_02]: Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships, and more.

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[00:00:42] [SPEAKER_02]: Now onto the show.

[00:00:45] [SPEAKER_01]: This is Optimal Relationships Daily, Vulnerability by Catherine of commonsenseliving.ca

[00:00:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Vulnerability.

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_01]: Susceptible to physical harm or damage.

[00:00:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Susceptible to emotional injury, especially in being easily hurt.

[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_01]: Susceptible to attack.

[00:01:05] [SPEAKER_01]: Open to censure or criticism.

[00:01:07] [SPEAKER_01]: Assailable.

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_01]: Vulnerability, as you can see, can be defined in many different ways.

[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_01]: However, there is a common theme.

[00:01:16] [SPEAKER_01]: The possibility of pain.

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_01]: The term vulnerability is a loaded term that, oddly enough, a lot of people are scared of using and even more scared of being.

[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Being vulnerable means that you have your guard down in a sense and have a bigger possibility of being hurt physically or emotionally.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_01]: But what if vulnerability could be associated with strength?

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know about you, but a lot of the stories of heartbreak I have heard have come from the fear of being vulnerable.

[00:01:45] [SPEAKER_01]: In love, as in a lot of things in life, being our true selves is frowned upon.

[00:01:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Why?

[00:01:51] [SPEAKER_01]: Because we are naturally flawed.

[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_01]: Being flawed is okay, but it becomes unhealthy when you are trying to hide away all the parts of yourself that make you the person that you are.

[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_01]: When you choose to be in a relationship with someone, a lot of the time you intend to spend the rest of your life with them.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_01]: We all have this common goal of finding our better half, our soulmate, someone to connect with.

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_01]: So, why is it so hard for us to open up?

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Relationships start off all rosy most of the time because two people are starting to get to know each other, which involves a certain degree of vulnerability.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_01]: However, as the relationship goes on, someone may feel that their partner may not like their dark side,

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_01]: the side that doesn't always feel like going out or being social, or who just feels down a lot of the time.

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER_01]: In an effort to hide away their true selves, they start to distance themselves from their partner.

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_01]: This could lead to feelings of resentment and even confusion from the other end, leading their partner to believe they did something wrong.

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER_01]: In not being open about the discussion to tackle the fear of openness, relationships can inevitably fall apart, and it has happened time and time again.

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_01]: However, I have realized that the strongest relationships are the ones where both partners are vulnerable.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_01]: The truth is everyone is not going to like you, but it is important to find the ones who do.

[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_01]: In order to do this, you must be your true self.

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_01]: Vulnerability provides us the freedom of not having to overthink everything we say or do.

[00:03:26] [SPEAKER_01]: It allows us to share our message with the world in the most genuine way possible.

[00:03:32] [SPEAKER_01]: Vulnerability allows us to live fully, as it should be lived, and not get inside our own head and overthink everything.

[00:03:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Vulnerability also helps us build deeper connections with others through the telling of our own personal stories.

[00:03:46] [SPEAKER_01]: Quote,

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_01]: End quote.

[00:04:11] [SPEAKER_01]: That's from Brene Brown.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_01]: As Brene Brown mentions in her article, Own Your History, Change the Story, there is courage in being able to own our stories instead of denying them.

[00:04:22] [SPEAKER_01]: As many of you know, I have an Instagram account called Common Sense Living where I share my own personal anecdotes and life stories and share lessons I have learned along my life's journey.

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_01]: However, this whole idea came from embracing vulnerability.

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_01]: In order to tell our stories honestly, we cannot leave out the details.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not the best storyteller since I tend to get caught up in the details of the situation before getting to my main point.

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_01]: However, I tell my stories the way that I want, and in doing so, I make myself vulnerable to criticism.

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_01]: But I find the more we practice being vulnerable, the easier it gets.

[00:05:02] [SPEAKER_01]: In sharing our stories, it encourages others to also be vulnerable enough to share their own.

[00:05:08] [SPEAKER_01]: In being vulnerable ourselves, we create a safe space for others to share their hardships and, in doing so, a space of connection.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I am so grateful to be part of such a positive community on Instagram, a place that a lot of people find toxic.

[00:05:24] [SPEAKER_01]: The reason why is because a lot of the people within this community do not hide away from who they truly are.

[00:05:30] [SPEAKER_01]: People have asked me if I ever received criticism, and the truth is, I haven't.

[00:05:35] [SPEAKER_01]: After all, what is there to criticize if I'm telling my own story?

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_01]: My life experience is not the same as others, and that is what makes it beautiful.

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Our stories are worth sharing, and everyone's story is different.

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Vulnerability allows us to truly give a platform to our pain and happiness, and allow others to connect with us, and to connect with themselves.

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_01]: In the end, vulnerability is not just weakness.

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_01]: Moreover, vulnerability is strength.

[00:06:04] [SPEAKER_01]: We must change the way that we choose to view this word, and not let it get in the way of how we live our lives.

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_01]: You just listened to the post titled, Vulnerability, by Catherine of commonsenseliving.ca.

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_01]: Catherine is a blogger and founder of Common Sense Living.

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_01]: She enjoys cooking, reading, and has recently rediscovered a love for writing, which inspired her to start Common Sense Living.

[00:06:32] [SPEAKER_01]: And it looks to me like she's learned some wonderful lessons, because it's a great post today about vulnerability.

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_01]: Surely the isolation involved in being vulnerable is part of what prevents many of us from engaging in it.

[00:06:44] [SPEAKER_01]: The concern over revealing certain parts of ourselves that may be uncomfortable, and cause us to be ostracized or taken advantage of.

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_01]: But, my favorite part of this post, and one of my favorite parts of being vulnerable as a whole, is the fact that when we are vulnerable, we encourage others to do the same.

[00:07:02] [SPEAKER_01]: And it's a desire we all have, in spite of how suppressed it might have become.

[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_01]: So, not only do we get a chance to express ourselves in a healthy and necessary way, but we grant others the comfort that helps them to do the same.

[00:07:15] [SPEAKER_01]: It really is beneficial for everyone, even though it may not always seem that way.

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_01]: And with that, we are going to wrap up today's episode, everyone.

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for joining me today and listening to the end, and thank you just for being you.

[00:07:28] [SPEAKER_01]: I will see you all tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.