2358: Get Girls Outside to Counter the "Princess Industrial Complex" by Jay & Heather Harrington of Life And Whim on Raising Daughters

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships, and more. So to optimize your life in other areas, just search for Optimal Living Daily in your podcast app. Now on to the show.

[00:00:17] [SPEAKER_01]: This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Get Girls Outside to Counter the Princess Industrial Complex by Jay and Heather Harrington of LifeAndWhim.com.

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_01]: I never thought I would have three daughters. In fact, I didn't expect to have three children, period. We got started a little late and things didn't happen as quickly as we expected once we decided the time was right to start a family.

[00:00:41] [SPEAKER_01]: So I feel extremely blessed to have three beautiful, happy, healthy girls. I cherish this time with them. They are the young and innocent. But the teenage years are coming. And that scares the heck out of me.

[00:00:53] [SPEAKER_01]: The teenage years are when you start to lose your grip as a parent. And the uncertainty of relinquishing control over many aspects of what your child does, sees, and experiences is a tough pill to swallow.

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_01]: These years of pre-adolescence are no cakewalk either, of course. Young girls are bombarded with messages in the media about what's supposedly important as they grow up, such as their appearance, social status, and desirability to boys.

[00:01:17] [SPEAKER_01]: There is no doubt in my mind that boys and girls are instinctually and innately different, play differently and socialize differently from an early age.

[00:01:25] [SPEAKER_01]: But there is also no doubt that girls are targeted from an early age with unhelpful and many times harmful messages that inform their worldviews.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Last week, Heather took the girls to Target for some back-to-school shopping.

[00:01:38] [SPEAKER_01]: There were rows of toys, clothes, and accessories brimming with nothing but pink, sparkles, and princesses marketed exclusively to girls.

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_01]: There's nothing wrong with pink and princesses, but if that's all we expose young girls to, then it has an impact on them.

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_01]: And it's not a positive one.

[00:01:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Journalist Peggy Orenstein wrote a book called Cinderella Ate My Daughter.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_01]: In it, she discusses the multi-billion-dollar princess industry that Disney and its imitators have created.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_01]: Orenstein equates the princess culture that young girls today grow up in as a gateway drug to self-centered, hyper-stitualized, Kylie Jenner-worshipping adolescents.

[00:02:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Her research suggests that the princess industrial complex is fueling many of the body image insecurities leading to depression, eating disorders, and anxiety among pre-teen girls.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_01]: We're pretty aware and wary of these issues, but we still find our house infiltrated by these influences.

[00:02:34] [SPEAKER_01]: From our girls' craft cabinet to their dresser drawers to our television, it's hard to escape Elsa and Ariel.

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Ultimately, it's not Disney's fault if our girls grow up self-obsessed and self-destructive.

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_01]: It's our responsibility to raise strong, self-aware, and self-confident young women who understand that their self-worth has nothing to do with their ability to look pretty and sparkly.

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_01]: There will always be outside harmful influences to contend with.

[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_01]: And so, I don't believe that the answer lies in protecting our girls from all things princess.

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_01]: That's an impossible task, and this sort of sheltering may backfire in making them more interested in the things they're denied.

[00:03:11] [SPEAKER_01]: Rather, I think the best way to combat the negative byproducts and influences of princess culture is to counter it with positive ones that build character and curiosity, not obsessive self-consciousness.

[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Now that we have two years under our belt as parents with a new focus on outdoor living,

[00:03:27] [SPEAKER_01]: we're more convinced than ever that the best way to accomplish this is to get girls outside and active in nature as much as possible.

[00:03:35] [SPEAKER_01]: Outside is the antidote for the prim, proper, and perfectly groomed expectations placed on a little princess.

[00:03:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Scraped knees, blisters, mosquito bites, and dirty fingernails are part of the experience when kids are out exploring.

[00:03:48] [SPEAKER_01]: Nature is a place to be creative, imaginative, adventurous, and to step outside of comfort zones.

[00:03:54] [SPEAKER_01]: That's what being a kid is all about.

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_01]: There are many reasons that exposing kids and especially young girls to the great outdoors as much as possible is important, including...

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_01]: It builds confidence.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER_01]: When we first started taking our girls out on hikes, it was a struggle.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_01]: We'd often have to cajole them along, and they often wanted to be picked up and carried.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_01]: Now we can hardly keep up with them.

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_01]: I never thought I'd have to jog to keep up with our recently turned four-year-old twins.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_01]: They've gained confidence in their own abilities and increased their stamina, which has led them to want to embark on longer and more challenging adventures.

[00:04:27] [SPEAKER_01]: Sure, there are some bumps, bruises, and occasionally tears along the way,

[00:04:31] [SPEAKER_01]: but in the process they've learned what it takes to adapt to and operate in different environments,

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_01]: and that they're capable of more than they, or us frankly, thought was possible.

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_01]: It promotes creativity and imagination.

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_01]: Nature play is unstructured and adventurous.

[00:04:46] [SPEAKER_01]: It requires kids to be in tune with their senses and aware of their surroundings.

[00:04:50] [SPEAKER_01]: Richard Lowe, author of the great book, Last Child in the Woods, Saving Our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder,

[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_01]: wrote that,

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_01]: As the young spend less and less of their lives in natural surroundings,

[00:05:02] [SPEAKER_01]: their senses narrow and this reduces the richness of human experience.

[00:05:06] [SPEAKER_01]: Whether we're on a trail or a beach,

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_01]: exposure to the stillness and starkness of nature

[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_01]: promotes a unique sense of wonder for kids that no other environment offers.

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_01]: It fosters connection.

[00:05:17] [SPEAKER_01]: Lots of research has shown that parents, and particularly fathers,

[00:05:21] [SPEAKER_01]: play a key role in helping their daughters develop healthy body images as they grow up.

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_01]: This is best accomplished through spending quality time together,

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_01]: and in the process, praising a child's character and intrinsic qualities,

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_01]: rather than focusing on her appearance and achievements.

[00:05:36] [SPEAKER_01]: Time spent outside, exploring nature,

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_01]: is some of the best time to bond and connect as a family.

[00:05:42] [SPEAKER_01]: Many of the distractions, from screens to toys,

[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_01]: that are everywhere inside, are removed from the experience.

[00:05:48] [SPEAKER_01]: It's a time to test boundaries,

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_01]: create shared memories,

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_01]: and draw closer to one another,

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_01]: so that when the tough times of adolescence do come,

[00:05:57] [SPEAKER_01]: children know they can count on their family for support.

[00:05:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Just as it's not easy to combat the harmful messages

[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_01]: that girls are exposed to in popular princess culture,

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_01]: it can also be hard to let go outside

[00:06:08] [SPEAKER_01]: for fear that they'll get hurt while pushing their limits.

[00:06:10] [SPEAKER_01]: That's because all the fun is off the trail for kids,

[00:06:13] [SPEAKER_01]: and not within its groomed contours.

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_01]: Unfortunately, off the trail is where the scrapes, cuts, and bruises happen.

[00:06:19] [SPEAKER_01]: But we've come to understand that if we don't allow our kids

[00:06:22] [SPEAKER_01]: the freedom to explore and test their own boundaries,

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_01]: then they won't become the outdoor-loving kids that we're hoping to raise.

[00:06:28] [SPEAKER_01]: And we know that the lessons they learn outside

[00:06:30] [SPEAKER_01]: will help lay the foundation for their growth

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_01]: into strong, confident, and courageous young women.

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_01]: You just listened to the post titled

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Get Girls Outside to Counter the Princess Industrial Complex

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_01]: by Jay and Heather Harrington of lifeandwhim.com

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_01]: And a wonderful couple's post today from Jay and Heather,

[00:06:53] [SPEAKER_01]: which we thank them for, of course.

[00:06:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Spending time outside is such a great way

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER_01]: to remind both our daughters and our sons

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_01]: about where joy is truthfully derived from.

[00:07:01] [SPEAKER_01]: But whether it's spending time outdoors or indoors,

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_01]: parents can take the steps necessary

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER_01]: to instill values in their children

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_01]: that they'd love to see the children live by.

[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_01]: Though big corporations do have a huge influence,

[00:07:14] [SPEAKER_01]: especially as the kids rely more on the opinions of their friends,

[00:07:17] [SPEAKER_01]: ultimately their strongest bond,

[00:07:19] [SPEAKER_01]: and thus the strongest influence,

[00:07:21] [SPEAKER_01]: will come from that which they receive from devoted parents.

[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_01]: So don't miss this chance to really participate

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_01]: in the life of your child, both present and future.

[00:07:30] [SPEAKER_01]: With that, everybody, let's wrap up today's episode.

[00:07:32] [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for tuning in, as always.

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_01]: I hope you have a great weekend, and I will see you tomorrow

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_01]: where your optimal life awaits.