2360: Building Positive Body Image and Self-Esteem: Lessons From Motherhood by Crystal Karges on Parenting Lessons

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[00:00:26] Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships, and more.

[00:00:36] So to optimize your life in other areas, just search for Optimal Living Daily in your podcast app. Now onto the show.

[00:00:45] Hello everybody and welcome back to ORD. I'm your host Greg Audino and this time we've got one of our weekly bonus episodes ready for you.

[00:00:53] Each Sunday, in addition to our regularly scheduled episodes, we also air one that actually shares previously aired audio from another show on our network.

[00:01:01] This way you get a sense of all the different types of content and shows we offer here at OLD.

[00:01:06] Now today we'll be featuring Optimal Health Daily, so with that let's turn it over to Dr. Neil for the post and his commentary as we optimize your life.

[00:01:19] Building Positive Body Image and Self-Esteem. Lessons from Motherhood by Crystal Kargis of crystalkargis.com

[00:01:27] Kids are our greatest teachers. Their untainted outlooks on life bring us back to a simpler way of living.

[00:01:33] And most days, we need to be reminded of the basics.

[00:01:37] They help us remember that love is not based on a pant size, that softness is not weakness, and that aging is a privilege.

[00:01:46] Our kids can teach us a thing or two about body image and self-esteem.

[00:01:50] Most kids are free to be themselves.

[00:01:53] They choose clothes they love, no matter if the patterns are clashing or the style is awkward.

[00:01:57] They move their bodies in ways that bring them joy.

[00:02:00] They don't nitpick their bodies apart or scrutinize the way they look.

[00:02:04] They wholly and fully embrace who they are and are free to live in the present.

[00:02:10] Can you remember a time when you felt the same way in your own body?

[00:02:17] The reality is that a majority of those that identify as female are unhappy in their bodies and struggle with low self-esteem.

[00:02:24] Research studies have made connections between poor body image and low self-esteem among women specifically.

[00:02:31] One study found that among almost 10,000 women surveyed,

[00:02:34] nearly 90% of participants reported feeling dissatisfied in their bodies,

[00:02:39] with the vast majority wanting to be thinner.

[00:02:42] Poor body image is often an influencing factor on maternal mental health,

[00:02:46] leading to more severe issues like eating disorders, depression, and anxiety.

[00:02:51] Building a healthy self-esteem is even more challenging in our digital age,

[00:02:55] where we are constantly exposed to the highlight reels of everyone's lives on social media.

[00:03:00] Chronic exposure to a media that glorifies a thin ideal

[00:03:04] has been linked with body dissatisfaction and disordered eating behaviors.

[00:03:09] Lessons about body respect through motherhood

[00:03:12] If you're a mama hearing this, there is a good chance that you might also struggle

[00:03:16] with how you feel in your body.

[00:03:18] But this wasn't always the case.

[00:03:20] You too were once a carefree child,

[00:03:22] who loved your body for all that it allowed you to do.

[00:03:26] Somewhere along your journey,

[00:03:27] you learned a different story that frames how you feel about your body today.

[00:03:31] Maybe you can't remember the last time you liked anything about your body.

[00:03:35] Maybe you regularly feel disgust, guilt, or shame in your own skin.

[00:03:40] Wherever you might be, you are not alone.

[00:03:43] I understand, because I used to be there too.

[00:03:47] I struggled with poor body image and low self-esteem for a long time

[00:03:51] alongside my eating disorder.

[00:03:53] One of my greatest motivators for healing has been my children.

[00:03:57] My five kiddos have also taught me

[00:03:59] invaluable lessons about what it means to care for and respect my body,

[00:04:03] even through the changes that have come with pregnancy and postpartum.

[00:04:07] Slowly, I learned to respect my body that has been a vessel for growing my babies.

[00:04:11] I learned that I can still treat my body kindly,

[00:04:15] even if I'm not feeling positively or likable toward my body.

[00:04:19] That has been one of the most important lessons

[00:04:21] motherhood has taught me about caring for myself.

[00:04:23] It's not based on a feeling.

[00:04:25] Let me explain.

[00:04:26] As a caregiver, there isn't anything we wouldn't do for our kids, right?

[00:04:31] I love my children more than anything.

[00:04:33] I would lay down my life for them if needed and wouldn't think twice about it.

[00:04:37] That is the love of a caregiver.

[00:04:39] But let's be real.

[00:04:40] No matter how much we love our kids,

[00:04:42] it doesn't make parenting easy.

[00:04:45] In fact, I would venture to guess that

[00:04:47] parenting is the hardest thing you've ever done.

[00:04:49] Heck, it is for me, and I have no shame admitting it.

[00:04:52] There have been so many days where I wake up and feel like I'm living in Groundhog's Day,

[00:04:57] the same day on repeat, over and over again.

[00:05:00] Life is one poopy diaper, and well, that's just the season of life I'm in.

[00:05:05] Even though I love my kids more than I ever thought possible,

[00:05:08] there are some days where I am not in love with parenting.

[00:05:10] But even on those days, I persist in doing the things I know are important for my kids

[00:05:15] and will continue to take care of them, no matter how I feel that day.

[00:05:19] I'm sure you do the same thing for your kids too.

[00:05:22] Do you want to know why?

[00:05:24] Because love is more than a feeling,

[00:05:27] and caring for our kids isn't dependent on the way we feel.

[00:05:31] Feelings come and go,

[00:05:32] but love is a commitment,

[00:05:34] a choice to be present,

[00:05:36] to choose kindness,

[00:05:37] even if there are feelings of frustration,

[00:05:40] aggravation,

[00:05:40] or annoyance.

[00:05:42] Making a commitment to body kindness.

[00:05:45] Caring for our bodies works in a similar way.

[00:05:48] I think a lot of us are waiting for our feelings to change about our bodies

[00:05:51] before we start being kinder to them.

[00:05:54] The reality is,

[00:05:55] those feelings might not come until we act first.

[00:05:59] If you think you have to wait to be kind toward your body

[00:06:01] until you've lost that baby weight,

[00:06:03] or until you get into your goal gene size,

[00:06:05] you have already waited too long,

[00:06:08] and with that,

[00:06:09] lost too many precious moments in your life.

[00:06:11] Building your body image and self-esteem

[00:06:13] begins with the commitment to treat yourself kindly and with respect,

[00:06:17] and should not be based on how you feel about your body,

[00:06:20] because those feelings will ebb and flow,

[00:06:23] but the choice to respect your body should be unwavering.

[00:06:26] Just like motherhood,

[00:06:28] there will be days where you wake up

[00:06:30] and don't feel great in your body.

[00:06:31] There will be times where you don't like the way you look

[00:06:34] or how your body feels in the clothes you're wearing,

[00:06:37] but those feelings won't last forever.

[00:06:39] You can still do the next right thing for yourself

[00:06:42] by treating your body with the kindness and respect it deserves.

[00:06:46] Tangibly speaking, this might look like

[00:06:48] nourishing your body well,

[00:06:50] like not skipping meals or snacks,

[00:06:52] paying special attention to hygiene,

[00:06:55] like taking a shower or brushing your teeth,

[00:06:57] wearing clothes that feel comfortable on your body,

[00:07:00] engaging in activities and movements that you enjoy,

[00:07:04] drinking enough water to stay hydrated,

[00:07:06] getting outside for fresh air and sunshine,

[00:07:09] or going to bed earlier to catch up on sleep.

[00:07:13] Sometimes loving your body means doing difficult things

[00:07:15] and parenting yourself because those are the right things to do.

[00:07:19] As you stay consistent with your commitment to respect your body,

[00:07:22] regardless of how you feel,

[00:07:24] you will find yourself building a more positive relationship

[00:07:27] with your body.

[00:07:29] A healthy body image is more than the absence of negative thoughts

[00:07:32] about our shape or size.

[00:07:34] Building a positive body image

[00:07:36] means cultivating an appreciation

[00:07:38] of what your body allows you to do

[00:07:40] and broadening your notion of beauty

[00:07:42] to accept all aspects of your body.

[00:07:45] You know what they say,

[00:07:46] Rome wasn't built in a day.

[00:07:48] So, if the thought of transforming your own body image

[00:07:51] feels beyond your reach,

[00:07:52] don't lose hope.

[00:07:54] Plant yourself firmly in an unwavering commitment

[00:07:57] with the care and kindness it deserves.

[00:08:00] As you act on that commitment,

[00:08:02] you will bloom into the gentle gratitude

[00:08:04] of a person at peace within their own body.

[00:08:07] Do it not only for yourself,

[00:08:09] but for those sweet kiddos who adoringly look up to you.

[00:08:12] They are learning from us,

[00:08:13] and by respecting our bodies,

[00:08:15] we will teach them to do the same for themselves.

[00:08:18] You've got this.

[00:08:23] You just listened to the post titled

[00:08:25] Building Positive Body Image and Self-Esteem,

[00:08:27] Lessons from Motherhood,

[00:08:29] by Crystal Kargis of crystalkargis.com.

[00:08:33] Dr. Neil here for my commentary.

[00:08:35] Now, at the beginning of today's article,

[00:08:37] today's author, Crystal,

[00:08:38] talked about how kids can teach us

[00:08:40] about body image and self-esteem,

[00:08:42] and that most kids are free to be themselves.

[00:08:45] I know that Crystal was discussing this

[00:08:47] as a way for us to remember

[00:08:48] what it was like to be carefree like that.

[00:08:51] But it also made me remember

[00:08:53] why I have a fear of children.

[00:08:55] Well, it's not a real fear.

[00:08:57] It's just that, at times,

[00:08:59] my self-esteem can't handle their thoughts on body image.

[00:09:04] For example, when a child asks me

[00:09:06] why my nose is so big,

[00:09:08] or why my arms and legs are so hairy,

[00:09:10] or why I'm so short,

[00:09:12] it's hard not to take it personally.

[00:09:14] I mean, kids just tell it like it is, right?

[00:09:17] So at times,

[00:09:18] I do dread those kinds of comments

[00:09:20] and find that I take it more personally

[00:09:22] when I'm already having kind of an off day.

[00:09:25] But at the same time,

[00:09:27] it is a great lesson for me

[00:09:29] to not take myself so seriously

[00:09:32] and to remember truly

[00:09:34] what it's like to be a carefree kid again.

[00:09:37] All right, that's it for today.

[00:09:39] I hope you have a great rest of your Tuesday

[00:09:40] if you're listening in real time.

[00:09:42] Thank you so much for listening.

[00:09:44] Thank you for sharing this show with someone.

[00:09:45] And I'll be back here tomorrow as usual

[00:09:47] where your optimal life awaits.