2381: [Part 1] Real Life Advice On Having Two Kids Under Two Years Old by Shawna Scafe of Simple On Purpose on Motherhood

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[00:00:30] Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships, and more. So to optimize your life in other areas, just search for Optimal Living Daily in your podcast app. Now on to the show.

[00:00:48] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Real Life Advice On Having Two Kids Under Two Years Old Part 1 by Shawna Scafe of SimpleOnPurpose.ca

[00:01:00] So you're pregnant with number two, and you will have two kids under the age of two? Congratulations. You're about to become a person held together by Spanx, coffee, and energy bars. But don't worry, it won't last long. That's a lie. The hours and days will inch relentlessly along. It's the years that dash past.

[00:01:19] But I am on the other side, and can tell you, you will make it. You can do this. You are capable.

[00:01:26] I ruthlessly scoured the net when preggers with my second, seeking the answer to making it work with two under two.

[00:01:33] Here's the answer. It doesn't. I have found with two under two that my baby came at a time when my firstborn, 16 months at the time, wasn't really ready to help or play or get too interested in or jealous of the new baby.

[00:01:48] Every kid is different, though. Either way, you now have two kids that are majorly dependent on you. Feeding, dressing, changing, playing, etc.

[00:01:57] Here are some tips from myself and my super amazing mom friends to help you fly solo with your two little bambinos.

[00:02:05] Getting ready for baby to come.

[00:02:08] Solo playtime.

[00:02:10] This is a skill all kids need. Take the time to foster this in your firstborn, FB, so they don't rely on your constant entertainment slash company in their playtime.

[00:02:20] Waiting time.

[00:02:21] If you aren't already, let your toddler spend increasingly more time in their crib when waking from naps or sitting in their high chair when they're done eating or when they're asking for something specific.

[00:02:33] There are going to be times you can't rush in to get them when they wake up if you're nursing or putting baby down for a nap.

[00:02:40] Less carrying.

[00:02:42] When your firstborn looks up at you with arms stretched out and says,

[00:02:45] Up! for the first time, you pretty much want to pick them up and let them live in your pocket and tell them all your stories.

[00:02:52] However, the pending addition means saying no more often to your FB to things you won't be able to do with him once the newborn is here.

[00:03:00] As cruel as it may sound, you will have to get yourself and baby used to toting them around less.

[00:03:07] Once baby is here.

[00:03:09] Hands-free games.

[00:03:11] Try and make up games you can play with FB while you're holding baby.

[00:03:15] Start now.

[00:03:16] Songs you can teach them actions to and then sing later while you're nursing and they're playing around you.

[00:03:21] Pointing at body parts or making animal noises is fun too.

[00:03:25] Games you can get them to find things.

[00:03:28] Find a ball is a game I try to play when I think FB is about to ambush me and baby girl on the couch.

[00:03:33] And then I throw it and make them fetch it.

[00:03:35] Whoever said dog ownership couldn't teach you basic parenting skills?

[00:03:40] Keep your body fed.

[00:03:42] You are already sleep deprived, so don't become a hangry bear.

[00:03:46] Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself fueled and making a plan ahead of time will help.

[00:03:51] Plan meals for the week.

[00:03:53] Try and prep at least one thing each night to help you the next day.

[00:03:57] Before number two comes, make freezer meals.

[00:03:59] Spend the extra on cut produce and snacks for a couple months once the new baby is here.

[00:04:05] Make large batches when you have the helping hands at home and freeze some.

[00:04:09] Find some delicious and nutritious shakes.

[00:04:12] Stick with low glycemic foods to keep your blood sugar stable.

[00:04:16] And of course, give a warm hug to your new BFF coffee.

[00:04:20] And maybe the odd cameo from Bailey's.

[00:04:24] Siblings

[00:04:25] Take lots of time to teach your firstborn how to touch gently.

[00:04:28] So all you have to do is say the word gentle and they can comprehend and adjust.

[00:04:33] Understand that they are curious and don't hover over every encounter.

[00:04:37] Let them express their love in their own way.

[00:04:40] Don't force certain interactions.

[00:04:42] My son enjoys giving his little sister kisses and giving her his snacks.

[00:04:46] Sometimes there is toast in her hair and cheese in her sleeper.

[00:04:49] But, aw, it's a love snack.

[00:04:53] Less carrying toddler.

[00:04:55] To help you out once baby is here, here is what works for me.

[00:04:59] I would pick up my FB the first time he asks, play with him, then find something to distract

[00:05:04] him with and put him down.

[00:05:05] The second time, I would pick him up and just stand there and be boring, which is tough,

[00:05:10] believe me.

[00:05:11] The third time he asks, I would bend down and give him a hug.

[00:05:15] There are the times, though, when I just can't say no and I end up making dinner with him

[00:05:19] on my hip.

[00:05:21] Keep the snacks coming, lady.

[00:05:23] Each time I have a second to myself, I stand in the kitchen really confused on how I should

[00:05:28] spend those precious solitary moments.

[00:05:30] So, I usually give my rusty culinary skills some flexing.

[00:05:34] That's a complicated way of saying I make ch**, chopped produce and cheese, make little

[00:05:39] bowls of finger foods that aren't super messy.

[00:05:41] The destination is the coffee table for FB to munch while I'm busy nursing baby.

[00:05:47] Just like mama bear gets hangry, so does baby bear.

[00:05:52] You will likely have speedy success getting a baby on a schedule as they follow along with

[00:05:57] your FB schedule.

[00:05:59] Remember that you need a routine too for a couple months.

[00:06:02] It keeps the thinking and last minute prep to a minimum.

[00:06:05] Have regular menu choices for everyone, e.g. brekkie as oatmeal or cottage cheese and fruit.

[00:06:11] Nap time routines for you, whether you shower, clean, nap, etc.

[00:06:16] Redefine your roles.

[00:06:18] You know how every team player has a position.

[00:06:21] Everyone knows what they should be doing and when.

[00:06:24] That's where the term learn to work as a team for relationships came into existence.

[00:06:29] And not to get all Dr. Jen on you, who by the way is on Sirius Radio and is totally awesome,

[00:06:35] but having clear roles and responsibilities is the foundation of success in any relationship.

[00:06:41] This was the biggest adjustment for husband and I.

[00:06:43] Bringing a second baby home was the harder adjustment for us than the first or third.

[00:06:49] Truly, one kid is so easy and there can be a lot of freedom for the parents.

[00:06:53] You get used to it.

[00:06:55] Then, plus sign, things are going to change.

[00:06:57] The workload has increased and the free time has decreased.

[00:07:00] Having lots of conversations on how you will work together will make your life much easier.

[00:07:06] Give everyone a bit more grace in the home.

[00:07:09] Peace at all costs is not peace.

[00:07:12] Back to square one.

[00:07:13] I was nursing my hours-old daughter and the nurse in the hospital told me something

[00:07:18] I still have to remind myself of from time to time.

[00:07:21] She told me to adjust my nursing position for the baby girl

[00:07:25] because I was picking up where I left off with my firstborn.

[00:07:29] Sometimes I would forget the crying, the fussiness, the lack of sleep I had with our FB,

[00:07:34] and sometimes get frustrated that the second isn't sleeping, scheduled, nursing on a schedule.

[00:07:39] The second does get scheduled quicker, but they still need to have their own adjustment period too.

[00:07:45] To be continued.

[00:07:51] You just listened to part one of the post titled,

[00:07:54] Real Life Advice on Having Two Kids Under Two Years Old,

[00:07:57] by Shauna Scaife of simpleonpurpose.ca

[00:08:02] We will save the wrap-up comments for tomorrow after we've completed part two, everyone.

[00:08:07] Awesome stuff so far, and I hope you enjoyed the first part of this episode featuring Shauna's thoughts

[00:08:12] as much as I did.

[00:08:14] We'll find out what she has to say in the rest of the article in tomorrow's episode,

[00:08:18] so I will see you there, where your optimal life awaits.