2382: [Part 2] Real Life Advice On Having Two Kids Under Two Years Old by Shawna Scafe of Simple On Purpose on Raising Children

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[00:00:30] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Real Life Advice On Having Two Kids Under Two Years Old. Part 2. By Shawna Scafe of SimpleOnPurpose.ca.

[00:00:43] Get Her Done

[00:00:45] When baby sis was first born, I was waiting for her to nap to get things done. And as she napped less and less, I realized I had to just do what I could do, whenever I could do it. This means bringing number two everywhere.

[00:00:58] Baby girl is in her bouncy seat or bassinet during bath time, getting dressed, outside playing. Just make sure that if baby needs nursing or cuddles, that you move to the most childproof location, so the older can roam around with need for your interception.

[00:01:15] Supermom Schmoopermom

[00:01:17] As your FB became more independent, you probably have gotten back to the luxuries of life.

[00:01:23] Showers, hot coffee, dishes done, laundry folded, a well-rounded dinner made.

[00:01:29] Well, now there is a little bean who needs those arms in that time for cuddles.

[00:01:34] So don't get disappointed when you are wearing a toke on your greasy hair,

[00:01:38] FB is eating fishy crackers for lunch, and the dishes wait until the end of the day.

[00:01:43] As the months go on, you feel like yourself again, and let your babe bounce in the exer-saucer or jolly jumper

[00:01:50] while you and your toddler have a dance party or you make dinner.

[00:01:54] Get outside

[00:01:56] The thought of feeding, changing, bundling, and loading two little ones makes you sweat thinking about it.

[00:02:03] But even if it's wintertime and it means snowsuits and a quick outing, it's still worth it.

[00:02:08] So put in the extra effort and planning and get everyone in the stroller,

[00:02:12] meet up with another mom who is maybe named Sophie and maybe has two really cute girlies,

[00:02:17] and get your butts outside.

[00:02:19] Hone your mama skills

[00:02:22] My husband thinks it's weird I can work the trackpad on my laptop while nursing the baby.

[00:02:27] I think it's called adaptation.

[00:02:29] Mama needs to get her Netflix on, honey.

[00:02:31] You will be amazed at what you will learn to do while rocking, burping, nursing a baby.

[00:02:37] Some of the most commonly acquired skills you develop may include

[00:02:41] chasing FB to make him giggle,

[00:02:43] kicking soccer ball to toddler,

[00:02:45] paying bills,

[00:02:46] eating lunch,

[00:02:47] and blogging.

[00:02:49] Crying squared

[00:02:50] There will be times of the day when both babies are crying.

[00:02:55] You will likely learn a routine for feeding,

[00:02:58] naps,

[00:02:59] and the art of necessary distractions to keep tantrums to a minimum.

[00:03:03] However, the crying will happen at least once a day and will pull your heart into two directions.

[00:03:09] Don't beat yourself up.

[00:03:11] Treat the most distressed first,

[00:03:12] and don't feel guilty for letting one cry while you are helping the other.

[00:03:17] Accept help

[00:03:19] Sometimes we moms can be overly proud.

[00:03:22] Having two kids can be very humbling though.

[00:03:25] It has been for me.

[00:03:26] I am blessed with great family and friends who come visit,

[00:03:29] take my son,

[00:03:31] have us over for meals,

[00:03:32] or just to play.

[00:03:33] The first three months with two is getting by day by day,

[00:03:37] and little reliefs such as these have helped greatly.

[00:03:40] It's great to have an extra pair of hands,

[00:03:42] and even better for your FB to have others to play with.

[00:03:46] Peace with the Grease

[00:03:48] When voicing my concerns about having two kids under two to Sophie,

[00:03:52] she listened, smiled, and said,

[00:03:55] I'm not going to sugarcoat it.

[00:03:56] It's going to be hard.

[00:03:58] And some days you're just going to be dirty.

[00:04:00] A shower can make a mom feel like she just had a 15-minute power nap in Red Bull.

[00:04:05] So when that can't happen,

[00:04:07] don't stress.

[00:04:08] Throw on some dry shampoo and a cute hat and have some coffee.

[00:04:12] Spending the first half of your day in PJs can be inevitable at times.

[00:04:16] Other times you just got to get up,

[00:04:18] get dressed, and get moving without the luxury of a shower.

[00:04:23] Watchful eye

[00:04:24] I know this is a splurge,

[00:04:26] but I highly recommend a video monitor.

[00:04:30] Tiny timeouts

[00:04:31] I read somewhere that if the baby does something you tell your FB not to do,

[00:04:36] hits, throws something, etc.,

[00:04:38] that you should give your baby a timeout.

[00:04:41] I haven't had to do this yet,

[00:04:42] but it makes sense.

[00:04:43] Maybe it's never too early to be demonstrating to the FB

[00:04:47] that there are actions and consequences that everyone has to follow.

[00:04:52] Start sharing

[00:04:53] The other day, I brought out some newborn toys.

[00:04:56] I put them on the baby and told my son they were baby's toys,

[00:05:00] and he had to ask her if he could play with them.

[00:05:03] So he stood there saying,

[00:05:05] Bees, baby?

[00:05:07] I'll say things like,

[00:05:08] Baby is sharing with you.

[00:05:10] Can you get a toy to share with baby?

[00:05:12] And then when he is done playing,

[00:05:14] he'll bring it back to her.

[00:05:16] Well, he'll throw it on her and say,

[00:05:18] Bees, I have no idea if this will help,

[00:05:20] but it's worth a try.

[00:05:22] Family meals

[00:05:23] There is a lot of research out there

[00:05:25] around the importance of family meals,

[00:05:27] and it starts right away.

[00:05:29] Even if you are bouncing baby on your knee,

[00:05:32] and yes, even nursing them,

[00:05:33] take the time to sit with your FB during mealtime.

[00:05:36] You have to eat too, after all.

[00:05:39] White noise

[00:05:40] The day your FB learns how he can project his voice

[00:05:44] to scream at the top of his lungs

[00:05:46] will likely also be the day your baby is fighting all naps,

[00:05:49] and it takes hours to get her down.

[00:05:51] White noise is always going on in our house during any nap time.

[00:05:55] Sleep sheep, radios, TVs, bathroom fans

[00:05:59] helps buffer those sudden harsh noises and squeals.

[00:06:03] Squeeze out every drop of quality time.

[00:06:06] Don't forget, your FB still needs

[00:06:08] those quiet special one-on-one times with you.

[00:06:11] When baby is sleeping or just happy to be in their chair,

[00:06:15] take some time with your FB.

[00:06:16] Read a book, sing a song, hunt for toys,

[00:06:20] draw a picture,

[00:06:21] chase them around the house and tickle them.

[00:06:22] Floor parties, aka sitting on the kitchen floor

[00:06:26] and playing with kid,

[00:06:27] are almost a daily occurrence in our house.

[00:06:29] They usually happen while dinner is cooking.

[00:06:32] And the tip from the bottom of our mom hearts,

[00:06:35] lower the bar for yourself

[00:06:37] and prepare to be uncomfortable for a while.

[00:06:40] Because sometimes, uncomfortable is also normal.

[00:06:44] Things will not run smoothly at all times.

[00:06:47] You will be tired, get stressed,

[00:06:49] dishes will pile up,

[00:06:51] you will eat frozen dinners.

[00:06:53] It is normal,

[00:06:54] and best of all, it is temporary.

[00:06:56] You are going to have to go through this time regardless,

[00:06:59] so you might as well do it with joy in your heart.

[00:07:02] You're probably thinking,

[00:07:04] duh, mama, these are all common sense.

[00:07:07] But sometimes,

[00:07:08] we moms get so wrapped up in all the details

[00:07:10] that you can forget the simple things.

[00:07:13] And sometimes,

[00:07:13] we just need to hear it from someone else

[00:07:15] to give ourselves permission

[00:07:17] or even a push into it.

[00:07:23] You just listened to part two of the post titled,

[00:07:26] Real Life Advice on Having Two Kids Under Two Years Old

[00:07:30] by Shauna Scaife of simpleonpurpose.ca.

[00:07:35] And that brings us to the end of Shauna's long

[00:07:38] and very informative read.

[00:07:40] Such great detailed accounts of navigating

[00:07:42] this particularly stressful sector of parenthood.

[00:07:45] And if I do say so myself,

[00:07:47] I think she did a wonderful job

[00:07:49] of going beyond just the stress of the parent,

[00:07:51] but really tapping into the needs of all parties involved,

[00:07:55] whether it's the development of the children

[00:07:57] or the mindfulness of the parent

[00:07:58] or somewhere in between.

[00:08:00] I know she's humble in calling it

[00:08:02] just a list of reminders that seem obvious,

[00:08:04] but reminders are of utmost importance

[00:08:07] when we're right in the mix of stress.

[00:08:08] So I would encourage any parent in this situation

[00:08:11] to write these reminders down

[00:08:13] and put them on the bathroom mirror

[00:08:15] so you can have them readily available each morning.

[00:08:17] It'll be like having Shauna as another parent

[00:08:19] in the house to help you out.

[00:08:21] And I think it's obvious that any parent

[00:08:23] would be lucky to have her help.

[00:08:24] I hope you enjoyed this two-parter

[00:08:26] featuring Shauna's thoughts, everybody.

[00:08:28] And I hope to see you again in tomorrow's episode

[00:08:31] where your optimal life awaits.

[00:08:33] Thank you.