2387: How To Trust Yourself When You've Screwed Up In The Past by Irene Elias of Self Love Junkie on Self-Trust & Self-Compassion

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[00:00:30] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, How to Trust Yourself When Youve Screwed Up In The Past by Irene Elias of SelfLoveJunkie.com

[00:00:41] How do you trust yourself when youve screwed up in the past? Youve entered into the wrong relationships, accepted the wrong job, missed out on an opportunity you now regret, or whatever the case may be. You feel youve screwed up with your past choices, and now youre having trouble trusting your judgment.

[00:00:58] We often look back on our experiences to give us evidence as to why we should or should not trust ourselves in the future.

[00:01:06] And we all go through moments in life when weve had a gut feeling about something, but for whatever reason, we ignored the feeling, or just talked ourselves out of it.

[00:01:15] Then, in hindsight, you say to yourself,

[00:01:17] Why didn't I listen to myself? I knew I shouldn't have...

[00:01:22] This gut feeling is our access to a divine wisdom that lives within us from the moment we're born.

[00:01:28] This divine guidance is your intuition, and this is what we need to return to, divine guidance.

[00:01:34] As you are well aware, sometimes we listen to this voice of wisdom, and at other times we simply don't.

[00:01:41] And through experience, I've come to realize that when we don't listen, it's usually because we let our fears and fantasies get in the way of divine guidance.

[00:01:50] Also, when we are stressed and in fret mode, we become off-balance, which then makes it more difficult for us to listen to our inner wisdom.

[00:01:58] Let's say, for example, that you now want to invite romantic love into your life, but you're afraid of choosing the wrong partner because of your past experiences.

[00:02:08] The issue here is that you don't necessarily need to be afraid of choosing the wrong partner.

[00:02:13] It's more about you not listening and trusting your divine wisdom.

[00:02:18] If you're walking around feeling afraid of making the wrong choices because of past mistakes,

[00:02:23] then you've probably placed your trust with something outside of yourself and not within.

[00:02:27] You are allowing fear to take control by not putting your trust in the wiser part of you,

[00:02:33] so it's only natural for you to have this fear of screwing up.

[00:02:36] And when you can understand that the fear of not trusting yourself comes from a very small part of your mind called the ego,

[00:02:43] then you'll be able to tackle your situation differently by using your inner wisdom as your radar instead of your frightened ego.

[00:02:51] Give yourself permission to feel your fear,

[00:02:53] and then shift your focus off of the fear and return to the divine for support.

[00:02:58] Your job now is to forgive yourself for the times you did not listen to your wisdom.

[00:03:03] Now you're going to practice listening to the wiser part of you,

[00:03:06] not on being perfect, but on being spiritually aware.

[00:03:10] The more you focus on this wisdom and follow through on this voice,

[00:03:14] the more confidence you'll feel listening to it.

[00:03:17] So when it's time to make a decision, you will tune in and decide what is right for you.

[00:03:22] But how do you know if it's the right wisdom?

[00:03:24] Well, it's a feeling you can't explain, because divine wisdom doesn't come from the mind.

[00:03:29] It comes from the inside.

[00:03:31] Like, when you know, you just know.

[00:03:33] And it just feels right.

[00:03:35] It has a different frequency compared to your scared ego.

[00:03:38] So it's a matter of getting to know the different energies.

[00:03:42] Here are two ways to trust yourself when you've screwed up in the past.

[00:03:46] 1. Get silent

[00:03:49] Begin meditating for 3-5 minutes at a time by simply closing your eyes and focusing on your breath.

[00:03:55] You can have a daily spiritual ritual where you spend quiet time listening to something greater than yourself.

[00:04:01] A mantra or prayer that you may wish to say prior to your meditation to invoke the wisdom within is,

[00:04:07] Thank you, God, for helping me move out of my own way so that I can clearly and confidently hear your wisdom

[00:04:14] that always leads me in the right direction.

[00:04:17] 2. Connect with your heart

[00:04:20] Begin to trust yourself by placing your hands over your heart and asking,

[00:04:25] What is my gut feeling telling me about fill-in-the-blank?

[00:04:28] Don't overthink it.

[00:04:30] And then ask,

[00:04:32] What is my mind telling me about fill-in-the-blank?

[00:04:35] Write your answers on a piece of paper.

[00:04:37] Then, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and set a clear intention to connect to your intuition.

[00:04:44] Then open your eyes and look at the paper where your heart answered.

[00:04:48] Close your eyes again and allow yourself to fully take on that choice.

[00:04:53] Just for a moment, see yourself making that choice and pay attention to,

[00:04:58] How does this choice feel?

[00:05:00] What can I feel in my body?

[00:05:02] Where do your thoughts go?

[00:05:04] What happens to your breathing?

[00:05:05] And now, do the same with your mind answer.

[00:05:08] As you move through each choice, you'll begin to feel what feels best.

[00:05:12] Doing this also means giving up some control and going with divine flow,

[00:05:18] which is the hardest part.

[00:05:20] Use these two tips as your assignments to practice listening more to your wisdom

[00:05:24] and get back to learning how to trust yourself.

[00:05:30] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:05:32] How to Trust Yourself When You've Screwed Up in the Past by Irene Elias of selflovejunkie.com.

[00:05:39] I think what I enjoyed most about this post today was Irene's constant reminder that we regularly have the ability to act in spite of our pasts,

[00:05:48] to not fall into the same rabbit holes, and to recognize each day an opportunity anew.

[00:05:54] To constantly seek out similarities from past traumas in the face of new experiences is a natural defense mechanism embedded in us.

[00:06:02] And when similar traumas or perceived traumas of varying sizes happen enough,

[00:06:07] it's quite easy to feel that we are doomed to be forever intertwined with such things.

[00:06:13] This is, of course, a logical fallacy,

[00:06:15] but its likelihood does increase if we don't make concerted efforts to regularly start fresh

[00:06:20] and be realistic about how unique each opportunity really is.

[00:06:24] It's challenging, but it is essential.

[00:06:27] And it is also challenging to end each episode for all of you fine people,

[00:06:31] but sadly the time has come.

[00:06:33] We are all done for today, but I thank you for coming in today,

[00:06:36] and I hope you enjoyed and took something from this post.

[00:06:39] Be sure to stop in tomorrow, everybody, where your optimal life awaits.