2394: Five Online Dating Communication Tips for Starting a Healthy Relationship by Dr. Diana Kirschner of Love in 90 Days

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, Five Online Dating Communication Tips for Starting a Healthy Relationship by Dr. Diana Kirschner of Lovein90days.com

[00:00:13] Are you looking for online dating communication tips to set up a healthy, passionate, forever love relationship?

[00:00:20] It can be very challenging for sure. You may see a guy whose photo and profile are very attractive to you.

[00:00:27] You wonder, how do you make yourself stand out among all the zillions of other women who are also interested in this man?

[00:00:34] How do you connect to him digitally to set up a healthy relationship from the start?

[00:00:39] Well, this blog is for you. There are specific keys to communicating online that will help you to connect to someone who is on your wavelength and potentially a great soulmate match for you.

[00:00:52] Let's start with messaging tips that make him beg to meet you.

[00:00:55] Online Dating Communication Tip Number 1

[00:00:59] Focus on Similar Interests

[00:01:02] Shared interests are very important to a lasting love relationship.

[00:01:06] For an initial message reaching out to a new match, share a specific experience you enjoyed related to an activity he mentions in his profile and add a question about it.

[00:01:17] For example, if he mentions Choco Canyon, you might write,

[00:01:22] I love Choco Canyon. I got a very cool piece of Anasazi pottery from the Heritage Center that I keep in my office to remember that sunset. Did you get to go on that crazy pink jeep tour?

[00:01:33] Online Dating Communication Tip Number 2

[00:01:36] Start a Positive Cycle of Interaction

[00:02:39] Online Dating Communication Tip Number 4

[00:02:42] Be Upbeat and Fun

[00:02:44] See if he is upbeat and funny himself. For example, you could say, I just had a breakthrough in my lasagna recipe. One taste and you will be hooked. Fair warning. See if he responds in kind. A healthy relationship is filled with fun and laughter. Shared humor is part of the bonding process that is very powerful.

[00:03:06] Online Dating Communication Tip Number 5

[00:03:08] Online Dating Communication Tip Number 5

[00:03:09] Be honest, but no confessionals. See if he responds similarly.

[00:03:14] You don't want to message him about how you drank all last night and are sick at work now. Nor do you want him to do the same.

[00:03:21] If he is giving you overly personal info or confessionals, head for the hills.

[00:03:26] Being with someone who has poor boundaries or acts out in a negative way is not a setup for a healthy, loving relationship.

[00:03:34] So, there you have five online dating communication tips that will have him beg to meet you. Ideally, you want about three to four fun flirty messages on the app, two to six text exchanges, and then to meet for coffee.

[00:03:49] But, don't get stuck in a fantasy messaging relationship with the perfect guy whom you never talk to on the phone. Even though you may feel intimidated, having a real conversation will give you so much more info about your match.

[00:04:03] So, that you don't waste time. You can feel a guy's energy, his mood, and whether he is a good conversational match for you.

[00:04:10] In order to have a healthy relationship, you want to be weeding out what I call the duds. Definitely unsuitable dudes.

[00:04:19] And a phone call is a very efficient way to do that.

[00:04:22] Bottom Line

[00:04:24] In fact, in our coaching program, we have found that studs, seriously terrific, utterly devoted dudes, will often call in the beginning without the woman asking to talk.

[00:04:35] They are the more successful guys who also don't want to waste time.

[00:04:39] So, they are more interested and willing to connect via phone.

[00:04:42] A guy's availability for talking with you is very telling.

[00:04:46] On the other hand, if he doesn't meet with you after two or three weeks after matching on a site, a week or so after an app match, move on.

[00:04:55] For example, one millennial, Kelly, was a slow-eyed brunette who came into our coaching program because she was burnt out on Tinder and match before that.

[00:05:04] She had a pattern of getting lost in texting with guys who never spoke to her on the phone and never made a date.

[00:05:11] Kelly was sick of the whole digital dating world.

[00:05:13] Her coach taught her these online dating communication tips, and the rest is history.

[00:05:19] She found guys who shared her interests, started lively, flirty exchanges with them, faced down her own fear of talking to new matches on the phone, and started ruling guys out who didn't step up.

[00:05:30] Kelly wound up dating two great guys who are seriously crazy about her, in a great way.

[00:05:37] There are amazing matches out there for you too.

[00:05:40] Now, one in every three marriages in the U.S. starts with an online connection, and there are healthier marriages that last longer.

[00:05:52] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:05:54] Five Online Dating Communication Tips for Starting a Healthy Relationship by Dr. Diana Kirshner of LoveIn90Days.com

[00:06:04] A great guide from Dr. Diana today for navigating the world of online dating.

[00:06:09] Thanks a lot to her for that.

[00:06:11] But while these tips are great for the actual conversation,

[00:06:15] you know it's also important to have the right approach when you're swiping,

[00:06:18] so you have better odds of starting conversations with the right types of people in the first place.

[00:06:23] And, with all the people out there, it can be hard to have a list of matches dense with good potential partners.

[00:06:29] So my advice, go into dating knowing your non-negotiables.

[00:06:34] It's too easy to either demand too much or to want to talk to too many people.

[00:06:39] Narrow down a perfect amount by picking maybe three things that you most want to see in a person's profile,

[00:06:46] and then be willing to flex on the rest.

[00:06:49] And for the love of God, do not have sunglasses on in your main picture.

[00:06:53] This was my biggest pet peeve when I was on the dating apps once upon a time.

[00:06:57] The eyes are the windows to the soul, people, okay?

[00:06:59] You can't have them covered in the first picture.

[00:07:01] Come on. Okay.

[00:07:03] Guys, that's going to do it for today.

[00:07:05] Thanks a lot for joining me and being a great audience as per usual.

[00:07:09] I hope your week is off to a great start.

[00:07:11] I will see you back here tomorrow for the Tuesday show.

[00:07:14] That is where your optimal life awaits.