2416: Living Life Looking Forward by Cheryl Smith on Letting Go of Sentimental Possessions and Decluttering

[00:00:00] Hello everybody, and welcome to ORD. I'm your host Greg Audino, and while I am usually your narrator as well, in these weekly bonus episodes, which we do each Sunday, I actually share previously aired audio from another one of the shows on our network. We'll be doing the same today, this time featuring our very first show, Optimal Living Daily, which centers on personal development content. So without further ado, here is OLD narrator Justin with the post and his commentary as we optimize your life.

[00:00:33] Living Life Looking Forward by Cheryl Smith with Nosidebar.com.

[00:00:39] The sentimental layer of minimizing has been the most agonizing for me. I associate things with people and memories from the past, and it just feels so wrong to let the associated thing go.

[00:00:52] Somehow, I feel like I'm betraying my precious parents if I dare to donate the gifts mom bought for me, or all the decoupage pictures dad took so much time to make for me. After all, there'll be no more gifts from them. I miss them so much, and holding on to the things they gave me during their time on earth brings a great deal of comfort. Or does it?

[00:01:14] Sometimes, it all starts to feel heavy, and seeing certain things seems to accentuate the blatancy of their absence more than make me feel the sense of comfort I felt the day they were given to me.

[00:01:26] Because it is not that day anymore. Many moons have passed, and a lot of water has flowed under the bridge during the 19 years since dad went to heaven, and the 7 years since mom followed him there.

[00:01:38] Due to circumstances beyond our control, and completely against our will, we recently had to move again.

[00:01:45] As we packed and prepared for the move, I was completely dumbfounded as to how we could still have so much stuff.

[00:01:52] We began downsizing in earnest four years ago, sold our four-bedroom home with the oversized garage, and released about 90% of our physical possessions.

[00:02:02] We moved into a two-bedroom furnished rental that provided very little storage, have continued downsizing the entire time we lived there, being intentional about not bringing new things into our home, and yet, when we got ready to move again, I was completely overwhelmed by all we still own.

[00:02:21] How could this be?

[00:02:23] As I unpack boxes and crates in our new place, it occurs to me that a lot of what I am unpacking is sentimental in nature.

[00:02:31] Oh, there are the things that we actually use, need, and want to keep, but there are a lot of other things I am clinging to simply because I feel guilty letting them go.

[00:02:42] As I contemplated all of this today, the light of these epiphanies dawned on me.

[00:02:48] Number one, sentimental things are tethering me to the past.

[00:02:53] They're beginning to feel like an anchor holding me back from fully embracing the now and what is to come.

[00:02:59] I cling to them because I want to maintain a bridge to yesterday, but that bridge is an uncrossable, unrealistic fantasy.

[00:03:08] Holding on to the things that belong to or were given to me by departed loved ones will never bring them back or transport us back in time.

[00:03:17] Number two, when an item evokes more sadness than happiness, it no longer deserves a place in my life.

[00:03:25] Number three, I no longer want to be reminded of what used to be but will never be again because I want to enjoy today and the memories still to be made.

[00:03:35] Number four, these sentimental things are no longer making me feel joyful.

[00:03:40] They bring pains of heartache when I look at them, and as I watch my husband and son lug these crates around,

[00:03:46] I cringe thinking about how my sentimentality is a cause of their sore muscles and backs.

[00:03:52] Number five, I'm not betraying my parents or anyone else by not keeping every greeting card they ever gave me or holding on to every single thing they ever bought for me.

[00:04:03] I don't have to give up everything, but I don't need to keep everything either.

[00:04:07] It is unhealthy and unfair to the loved ones who remain and mean the world to me.

[00:04:12] Thankfully, I have the option of keeping choice, meaningful reminders of my time with them and still feel okay about not clinging to the rest.

[00:04:21] I can almost hear my very practical, sensible parents telling me it is not only okay, but it is high time to let go.

[00:04:29] Number six, one day when our son has the unpleasant job of sorting through our things after we are gone,

[00:04:35] the memories associated with the things we leave behind will not be attached.

[00:04:40] These are our memories, not his.

[00:04:43] It won't make sense to him why I kept a restaurant receipt from a meal mom, dad, and I shared when I was a teenager.

[00:04:50] He wasn't there, nor will he understand its purpose.

[00:04:53] So why burden him with it?

[00:04:56] Number seven, most of the sentimental stuff hasn't seen the light of day in years.

[00:05:01] I just keep it stashed away in crates that are never opened and keep moving it from place to place,

[00:05:06] kind of like dragging a ball and chain behind me.

[00:05:09] Opening it now feels like reopening an old, painful wound.

[00:05:14] I don't want to do that anymore.

[00:05:16] And number eight, as I purge the sentimental, I start to realize these same truths apply to relationships

[00:05:23] that may have at one time been healthy but have become toxic.

[00:05:27] Clinging to a detrimental relationship out of sheer guilt is counterproductive to my new forward-looking life.

[00:05:33] As I'm assessing every single thing I take out of boxes and crates before finding it a place in our new home,

[00:05:39] I'm analyzing each relationship to see if it still brings benefit, joy, and enrichment to my current life.

[00:05:46] It feels good to shed what is no longer healthy.

[00:05:49] From now on, I want to live life looking forward.

[00:05:53] I feel excited about changing my perspective from mourning for yesterday to anticipation for tomorrow.

[00:06:00] After having gone through some scary medical stuff lately,

[00:06:04] I've been freshly reminded just how fragile life is,

[00:06:07] and I don't want to waste any more time longing for what has already been lived.

[00:06:11] Deeply thankful for more time,

[00:06:13] I want to embrace this moment and live it to the full with an outlook of eagerness and gratitude.

[00:06:20] I want to trade in the old for what is new and still to come.

[00:06:29] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:06:31] Living Life Looking Forward by Cheryl Smith with nosidebar.com.

[00:06:36] Take it to Cheryl.

[00:06:37] A note that this type of post when talking about sentimental items is sort of advanced level minimalism.

[00:06:44] I've covered a lot of minimalism on this show pretty much every Monday since late 2015 or close to it.

[00:06:50] So there's a wide range of minimalism content that you can hear.

[00:06:54] And sentimental items is probably the hardest level.

[00:06:57] And you or I won't even or shouldn't possibly get there.

[00:07:02] I say that because for me personally,

[00:07:04] there's plenty of other things that could be donated or sold or trashed

[00:07:09] that isn't even close to sentimental and that should be looked at first.

[00:07:14] And I suspect it's probably likely the same for you.

[00:07:16] And that's totally fine.

[00:07:17] But in this case, what you wouldn't want to do is start minimizing by looking at sentimental items.

[00:07:23] Because as Cheryl mentioned in this post, they are the most difficult to deal with.

[00:07:28] Instead, we could look at that junk drawer, the garage, storage,

[00:07:33] even our closets for things that aren't sentimental and hopefully make progress there.

[00:07:39] So Cheryl is next level.

[00:07:40] She said she's already released something like 90% of their possessions.

[00:07:45] That's a lot.

[00:07:47] And I'd say only when you get to that level does it make sense to consider the sentimental.

[00:07:52] So something to think about while on your decluttering and minimizing journey.

[00:07:56] Have a great Minimalist Monday if you're listening in real time.

[00:07:58] Thank you for being here and minimizing with me.

[00:08:01] Hope your week is off to a great start.

[00:08:02] And I'll see you tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.