2441: 7 Things Your Highly Sensitive Child Needs to Hear by Melissa Noel Renzi of Introvert Dear on Parenting Advice

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily 7 Things Your Highly Sensitive Child Needs to Hear by Melissa Noel Renzi of IntrovertDeer.com

[00:00:11] Highly Sensitive Children, HSCs, have a special set of gifts. Unfortunately, many people still see the strengths of high sensitivity as weaknesses.

[00:00:22] As someone who was once an HSC and is now a highly sensitive person, HSP, I remember my eyes burning under the fluorescent lights in school.

[00:00:31] The constricting feeling of jeans filled me with panic, so I wore leggings until I was a teen. Maybe I became a yoga teacher just so I could wear leggings instead of business attire.

[00:00:42] I still complain about seams in my underwear and even wrote a song about it.

[00:00:46] I know what it's like to feel profound empathy toward my family and emotional overwhelm about global injustices.

[00:00:53] And as I sit here writing, I'm processing so much in this active mind of mine that it's hard to write coherent thoughts.

[00:01:00] I used to feel there was something wrong with me. Now I know that what I just described is all simply related to the gift of high sensitivity, even if it doesn't always feel that way.

[00:01:11] It took me until my 30s to embrace my sensitivity as a strength and share my voice.

[00:01:16] Today, I lead retreats for highly sensitive people and introverts in order to build a sense of belonging among those of us who feel like outsiders due to our unique traits.

[00:01:27] Many attendees tell me they leave these retreats with a renewed sense of who they are.

[00:01:31] I believe we can encourage our children to love their sensitivity from a much earlier age.

[00:01:36] Some of these sentiments I'll share were words that I heard. Others are words I wish I had heard.

[00:01:43] What your highly sensitive child needs to hear.

[00:01:46] Number one, all of your emotions are acceptable.

[00:01:51] At some point in our lives, most of us have been told not to cry.

[00:01:55] While tears might be gaining an iota of societal respect, emotions such as anger, anxiety and hurt continue to be judged as unhealthy.

[00:02:04] Highly sensitive children are wired to fully experience the entire spectrum of human emotion.

[00:02:10] When we give HSCs permission to experience their emotions without being told they're bad, they benefit in a powerful way.

[00:02:18] Then, we can teach them tools to transform an emotion, such as anger, into creative or passionate fuel to do something constructive.

[00:02:27] Number two, it's healthy to experience emotion about injustice.

[00:02:32] As a young child, I got extremely emotional about issues ranging from racism to bullying.

[00:02:38] As I got a little older, political conversations about injustice easily landed me in tears.

[00:02:44] At an early age, HSCs need to hear that it's okay to feel emotional when they see others experiencing pain.

[00:02:51] This is a compassionate response, not an overreaction.

[00:02:55] Rather than dismissing their experiences, we need to acknowledge the hurt.

[00:03:00] When the time is right, offer ways your child can take meaningful action, such as starting a fundraiser or making a donation.

[00:03:08] Number three, let others know when you need alone time.

[00:03:13] Highly sensitive adults aren't the only ones who need alone time.

[00:03:17] I recently saw a video of a little girl stating that she just wants to chill in nature away from people.

[00:03:23] She certainly seemed like a sensitive introvert to me.

[00:03:26] HSCs will probably need alone time after stimulating activities, like attending school or parties.

[00:03:32] Let's teach them to ask for alone time constructively so it doesn't come in the form of a meltdown later.

[00:03:39] Number four, listen to your body.

[00:03:43] HSPs are often highly intuitive and can easily sense subtleties.

[00:03:47] Unfortunately, our conditioning moves us away from listening to what our bodies intuitively tell us.

[00:03:53] So we may lose this connection as we get older.

[00:03:56] We can teach sensitive children to notice how their body feels, for example,

[00:04:00] when they eat a certain food or hang out with a certain friend.

[00:04:04] Likewise, we can also teach them to find a place in their body that feels calm, like a finger or toe.

[00:04:10] This is a powerful grounding skill HSCs can use when they feel overwhelmed and need to regulate their body's responses.

[00:04:18] Number five, it's okay to say no.

[00:04:22] Children are accustomed to hearing the word no, but they usually don't get permission to use it themselves.

[00:04:28] Obviously, it's up to parents to set their own boundaries for when no is acceptable.

[00:04:32] But consider asking if your child wants to go to Henry's birthday party before simply sending the RSVP.

[00:04:40] Certainly, no is a delicate balancing act with children, but if encouraged mindfully, it can be an important step in learning healthy boundaries.

[00:04:49] Number six, take your time to process.

[00:04:53] Just like adult HSPs, HSCs may require extra time to process information.

[00:04:59] According to Dr. Elaine Aron, one of the four characteristics of HSPs is depth of processing.

[00:05:06] This means that when sensitive children receive information, they take in everything they can, analyzing and connecting data to a larger picture.

[00:05:15] Depth of processing can make life rich and meaningful, but it also slows us down.

[00:05:21] Simply being patient and allowing your child extra time to process honors this special gift.

[00:05:27] Number seven, the world needs people like you.

[00:05:31] There is no question that our world needs more empathy, listening and awareness.

[00:05:36] Sensitive children can also be extremely analytical and creative.

[00:05:40] Let's remind the sensitive children in our lives that even though the world feels challenging at times, their sensitivity is a gift that can help others in countless ways.

[00:05:54] You just listened to the post titled,

[00:05:57] 7 Things Your Highly Sensitive Child Needs to Hear by Melissa Noel Renzi of IntrovertDeer.com

[00:06:05] Such a great post today from Melissa at IntrovertDeer.

[00:06:08] Big thanks to her for giving us a chance to read it.

[00:06:11] I think what a lot of us miss is that, whether or not a child is categorized as an HSC, children are naturally more sensitive than adults.

[00:06:20] And with that in mind, the tips that Melissa has offered today are easily applicable and helpful to children of all types.

[00:06:27] Rather than just seeing the content of this article as a means of supporting highly sensitive children, understand that it's also a guide to preventing children from becoming overly insensitive, aggressive and non-sympathetic.

[00:06:41] Particularly the first reminder about all of their emotions being okay.

[00:06:46] This is imperative to raising healthy children, particularly boys who tend to not be conditioned this way.

[00:06:53] Raising any child as if they were highly sensitive does not keep them from being able to stand up for themselves and being assertive when they need to be.

[00:07:01] Rather, it only helps them to do the same for others in need.

[00:07:05] Now we're out of here for today, my friends.

[00:07:08] Thank you so much for being here all week and supporting the show like always.

[00:07:11] Have a terrific weekend, everybody.

[00:07:13] Enjoy yourselves and be sure to come on back Monday where I will be waiting for you with a new batch of great relationship content and where your optimal life awaits.

[00:07:23] Thank you.