2448: 8 Tips to Protect Your Marriage While Paying off Debt by Barbara Delinsky of The Budget Mom on Money Advice

[00:00:00] Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships, and more. So to optimize your life in other areas, just search for Optimal Living Daily in your podcast app. Now on to the show. Hello, everybody. I'm Greg Audino, your host here on ORD. And you found yourself in another one of our weekly bonus episodes in which instead of reading to you myself from an article about relationship building,

[00:00:30] I share a previously aired episode from one of our other shows in our network that I think you might enjoy. Today's comes from Optimal Finance Daily, our show that covers all sorts of posts about personal finance information and how to cultivate a smart money mindset. So with that, let's hear our host over there, Diana, narrate this post for you and provide her commentary as well as we optimize your life.

[00:00:56] 8 Tips to Protect Your Marriage While Paying Off Debt by Barbara Dolinsky with TheBudgetMom.com A successful marriage and debt, can it go hand in hand? There are instances of debt spoiling a marital relationship. But is it impossible? No, it's not. You can protect your marriage while paying off your debt successfully.

[00:01:19] All you need is a good understanding with your spouse, patience, and a realistic debt payment strategy. Here are some tips to get rid of debt while keeping your marriage alive.

[00:01:31] Number 1. Understand that paying off debt is necessary. Both of you need to realize that paying off debt is a prerequisite to preserving your marital relationship, irrespective of who's responsible for the debt or when you accumulated debt, before or after the marriage.

[00:01:50] Number 2. Have an honest discussion with your partner. A discussion is necessary among couples to solve day-to-day problems, and debt is not an exception. Rather, it's mandatory. Have an honest discussion. If you're responsible for the debt, admit it and ask your partner to help you out to solve your debt problems. Make a commitment to pay it off together.

[00:02:15] According to Taffy Wagner, owner of Money Talk Matters, quote, the couple should own up to the fact that they have debt. They need to sit down and develop a plan for paying it off, accept the choices, and then determine what they're going to do about it, end quote.

[00:02:32] Number 3. Make necessary plans and divide responsibilities. Discuss and decide whether you'll opt for professional help or try out DIY methods first. If both of you are confident, you can choose to repay your debts on your own. There are more things to plan. One of you should take the responsibility of managing the bills and statements and transferring the required amount to specific accounts as per your strategy.

[00:03:01] Another person can check whether or not the payments are made on time and how to save more. However, both of you should discuss and plan a budget which you can follow with ease. Number 4. Maintain grace in your relationship. It's quite natural that frustrations will rise and both of you will say things which you'll regret later. However, try to maintain grace in the marital relationship while paying off debt.

[00:03:29] Most of the time, anger is generated from fear, so try to find out what's bothering you. It's not necessary that your spouse will be equally motivated to pay off debt, but you can encourage him or her to pay them off or at least help you in your journey to be debt-free, which will ultimately improve your overall financial situation. Number 5. Practice a frugal lifestyle and have fun.

[00:03:56] For the time being, practice a frugal lifestyle. It doesn't mean that you have to compromise with your enjoyment. For example, decide a no-spend weekend and have fun without spending money. Sounds like Mission Impossible? I promise it's not. You can go on a hike, play board games, host a potluck party, do some DIY work like paint furniture, organize photos, etc.

[00:04:22] Go fishing, redesign your room. Believe me, it can be fun to spend time with each other and also strengthen your bond. Number 6. Prioritize your expenses and debts. First of all, list your daily necessities like food, shelter, and clothing. Be careful not to splurge. Then make sure you make the minimum payments on your secured loans to stay current on them.

[00:04:48] After that, target one debt to pay off along with making the minimum payments on others. Number 7. Motivate each other. It's a bit difficult to stay motivated on your debt payoff journey, especially if it's too long. So to avoid this, both of you need to motivate each other. To do so, keep looking at the finish line and what you can do once both of you are debt-free.

[00:05:12] Think of something that motivates you, like going on a dream vacation, planning for a child, buying a house, planning for early retirement, etc. And number 8. Select your preferred debt relief strategy. You can choose between debt snowball and debt avalanche as your preferred debt repayment strategy if you opt for DIY strategies. You can also combine both strategies. How?

[00:05:39] Instead of targeting one debt, you can target two debts at the same time. Take the extra amount which you need to make towards paying off your debts, divide it equally, and pay one portion towards the smallest balance and the remaining one towards the highest interest debt. After you pay off your debt, it's important that both of you work together to develop a plan for spending. That is, create a budget. You shouldn't feel trapped.

[00:06:05] Instead, discuss with each other and determine how much each of you can spend in a month. Before making a purchase, especially a big-ticket item, discuss whether the purchase is a need or a want. This way, both of you can live debt-free and enjoy a financially happy married life. You just listened to the post titled, 8 Tips to Protect Your Marriage While Paying Off Debt,

[00:06:32] by Barbara Dolinsky with TheBudgetMom.com This article for me really stresses the importance of aligning with your partner on financial goals, whether that's debt payoff or pursuing financial independence. It reminded me of a great documentary about the fire movement called Playing With Fire. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. You can check it out now on Amazon Prime.

[00:06:57] The film follows Scott Rickins and his wife Taylor as they learn all they can about the fire movement and apply some of the basic principles to their own life over the course of a year. Now, at the beginning of the film, Taylor was not totally on board with the idea of fire. She was comfortable in their luxurious lifestyle and initially saw the changes Scott wanted to make as a bit too extreme.

[00:07:21] But they ended up having a conversation about what really mattered to them and how they wanted to spend their time. Taylor realized that the things most important to her actually didn't cost a lot of money. Their lifestyle up to that point was just something they had become used to. I got the impression they were kind of running on autopilot without really thinking about it too much.

[00:07:44] I think this documentary became so popular because many people can relate to Taylor's experience and initial hesitation. I know a lot of couples that watched this film together and it opened up some really fruitful conversations. So if you're looking for some tools to facilitate a discussion with your partner, check out Playing With Fire for date night and see where it leads. And that's a wrap for another Monday show. Have a great rest of your day and start to your week.

[00:08:13] And I'll be back tomorrow as usual where your optimal life awaits. And I'll be back tomorrow as soon as you can see where it leads.