2449: 4 Types of Rest Every Parent Needs AND The Power of Reading to Kids by Julie Morgenstern on Parenting Advice

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, 4 Types of Rest Every Parent Needs by Julie Morgenstern of JulieMorganstern.com When I ask parents about their rest and relaxation habits, they often get a guilty look on their faces. Not because they think they're taking too much time for themselves, but because somewhere in the back of their minds, a little voice reminds them that they're not taking enough.

[00:00:25] Yet, when I suggest to a new mom that she pick up a hobby that gets her out of the house for an hour every week, or recommend a regular date night to tend to the spousal flame, the guilt swings like a pendulum. As parents, we somehow manage to convince ourselves that taking any time for ourselves somehow deprives our children of... something.

[00:00:47] And even when we manage to get past that sense of guilt, when we're running on empty and know we need to pull over before we fall asleep at the wheel, we face the age-old questions. But how? When? Where will I find the time? While writing Time to Parent, I had the honor of speaking with Dr. Matthew Edlund, the rest doctor himself.

[00:01:09] His research shows that there are four types of active rest, that is, rest that requires you to carve out mere minutes or even seconds during the day, that will leave you feeling more alert, focused, and present, despite being short on shut-eye. Physical Rest A proven way to improve mental alertness, motor skills, and mood is to give your muscles and mind a chance to relax.

[00:01:35] Take a moment to just sit, or lie on the grass or on the sofa. It's recharging just to be still, even if you can't sleep. Mental Rest If you have been focusing on something for a long time, combat mental fatigue by shifting your focus. Whether you are overthinking a parenting problem and can't figure out what to do, or re-reading the same paragraph at work without absorbing it, give your brain a brief respite.

[00:02:00] If you are at the office, look at a sedentary living thing, like a plant or a desk flower, or an image you like for 20 to 30 seconds. Consciously shifting your attention for a short period has been shown to improve focus and positively impact blood pressure, heart rate, and body temperature. Social Rest Humans seem to have an instinct for this, knowing that human contact, even for an introvert, can be energizing.

[00:02:28] It's why people tend to congregate at the water cooler or chat with neighbors on the front step. Taking a conscious break to chat for just a couple of minutes has proven to be an extremely effective shot in the arm. It can reduce stress and provide hormonal and psychological benefits. Spiritual Rest

[00:02:47] Brain scans have shown that people who meditate or pray are able to physically expand their brain's frontal lobes, the section that controls concentration, attention, focus, and problem analysis. While longer chunks of meditation and prayer, 20-plus minutes, may be more common recommendations, taking even one minute to pray, meditate, or imagine something existential, like moving through time and space, can calm and recharge.

[00:03:16] As a parent, learning how to inject active rest into your schedule is a game-changer. These relatively tiny rest stops won't break your momentum. They will just make you more productive and more present in each thing you do, allowing you to bring out the best in yourself and your child. The Power of Reading to Kids By Julie Morgenstern of juliemorgenstern.com

[00:03:44] As much as we all crave quality time with the kids in our lives, relating to children can be surprisingly tough. What do they like? What are they thinking, feeling, experiencing? Striking up a conversation about these things can be challenging. That's where books come in. Books can provide a powerful point of entry for relating to kids. They are written and edited by professionals who understand the issues and interests children face at various ages and stages.

[00:04:12] Therefore, they can be used as a way to spur conversation, explore emotions, discover hobbies and interests, learn new information, or purely for entertainment. Indeed, books can also be a great way to simply connect and have fun with your kids. According to a survey by Scholastic, 83% of kids aged 6 through 17 said they still love reading with their parents, and cited as one of the most bonding experiences of their childhood.

[00:04:39] In fact, the bond that forms between caretaker and child while sharing stories is so powerful and so vital for children's happiness and development that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parents read aloud to their children from infancy through young adulthood. We know that reading offers an excellent opportunity to bond with children, but how do we make it an engaging and enjoyable experience for them as well as for us? The key is to

[00:05:09] Make sure reading is associated with pleasure and quality time with you. Build anticipation with a dramatic introduction of the book. Read the title, author, and illustrator. Look at the cover and imagine together what the book might be about. As you read, vary your expressions and tone of voice to fit the plot. Use a different voice for each character. Pause when appropriate to create suspense. Engage your children in reading by encouraging them to finish sentences when they are young.

[00:05:38] Reading certain characters as they start learning to read. Reading aloud to you. You read one page, they read the next. Talk about what you are reading. Talking about what you are reading gives it power, according to the National Association for the Education of Young Children, N-A-E-Y-C, as well as the opportunity to promote closeness between parent and child. Talk about the book and how it relates to the child's real-life experiences. Do you know anyone like that?

[00:06:07] Did that ever happen to you? If you are reading a book about a family, for example, talk about how what happens in the story is the same or different from what happens in your family. Stay connected when kids begin reading on their own. Many parents miss reading with their kids once they develop the ability to read on their own. But you can still use reading as a way to relate to your children long after they begin reading independently. The key is to ask open-ended questions to spur conversation.

[00:06:36] Before your child reads a book, ask, Why did you select this book? What makes you think this book is going to be interesting? What do you think this book is going to be about? Does this book remind you of anything that you've already read or seen? While your child is reading on their own, try asking, Will you catch me up on the story? What happened so far? What do you think will happen next? If you were that character, what would you have done differently in that situation? After your child has finished a book, ask questions like,

[00:07:05] What was your favorite part of the book? Why? Who was your favorite character? Why? What was the most interesting thing you learned from the book? Why do you think the author wrote this book? Reading to your child early and often, and continuing to foster a lifelong love of reading as they grow, is one of the best things that you can do for your child. Not only is it fantastic for your relationship, it is an excellent way to strengthen your child's cognitive development,

[00:07:32] from vocabulary to critical thinking, emotional literacy, and beyond. You just listened to the posts titled, Four Types of Rest Every Parent Needs, and The Power of Reading to Kids, both by Julie Morgan Stern of juliemorganstern.com. Some terrific content from Julie today, a couple of quick but essential reads for parents. I want to end by saying that in regards to both posts,

[00:08:01] but particularly the first, we know the value of rest. You know, we know the value of socialization usually. We know reading to kids is great, and has been a staple in parenting for some time. But, improvement in these areas, or any areas of life, require putting aside the time to do them, not just knowing their value. As you reflect on Julie's great points from today, reflect too on how and when you will actually implement them. She's given you a really easy jumping point,

[00:08:31] especially in her first post, by offering really useful steps that can take minutes or even seconds. So, with these posts, in addition to all posts you hear throughout the OLD network, really get serious about putting the lessons you find valuable into action, rather than just absorbing them. And on that note, we are going to wrap up, friends. I think we all have some homework to do. I'm guilty of this myself. Have a great rest of your day, everyone. Initiate some steps for yourself to take based on some of the great content you've heard recently.

[00:09:00] And saddle up for tomorrow. I'll see you there, where your optimal life awaits.