2477: [Part 1] Yes, Parents, Your Lack of Sleep Is Affecting Your Mental Health by Marygrace Taylor of Healthline

[00:00:00] Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships, and more. So to optimize your life in other areas, just search for Optimal Living Daily in your podcast app. Now on to the show. This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Yes, parents, your lack of sleep is affecting your mental health. Part 1 by MarygraceTaylor of Healthline.com

[00:00:30] Exhaustion is undoubtedly part of parenting. But it's important to be aware when what you're feeling is not just tired. In the weeks leading up to my son's birth, when I'd wake up multiple times a night to pee, I'd pass the diaper-changing station we'd set up outside our bedroom on the way to the bathroom. In those dark, quiet moments, I remember thinking about how we'd soon be up for much of the night every night and would get filled with a sense of dread.

[00:00:56] Despite the fact that Eli was, by newborn standards, a good sleeper right from the start, my husband and I never got more than a few hours of sleep at a time early on. It was physically exhausting, but the emotional fallout was worse. I was constantly anxious and had trouble bonding with my boy. I was distraught because I felt like my life had been taken away from me and that I'd never ever get it back. I cried every day, but could rarely explain why.

[00:01:26] At the time, no one suggested that the state of my mental health could have been caused by a lack of sleep. It didn't cross my mind either. After all, intense sleep deprivation is something that every single new parent deals with. There are plenty of bleary-eyed moms and dads who are still perfectly happy, right? But here's what I didn't know. Sleep and mood are very closely related. And mounting evidence suggests that the fewer Zs you get, the more likely you are to have a mood disorder.

[00:01:55] In fact, people with insomnia are significantly more likely to have depression compared to those who get enough sleep. Considering that only 10% of new parents report logging the recommended 7 or more hours of shut-eye, it seems like most of us baby-having folks are at risk of having a big problem on our hands. And it's time we started talking about it. Parenthood changes the way you sleep Everyone knows that you accrue far fewer hours in the snooze department with a baby.

[00:02:24] From the second people find out you have a little one coming along, many feel the need to say things like, rest while you can, or you won't be sleeping in once the baby comes along. Yes. Great. Super helpful. Babies are sleep stealers for obvious reasons. In the very early days, they have no sense of day versus night. They need to eat every few hours around the clock. They don't like being put down to sleep alone

[00:02:50] and would rather be snuggled or bounced or rocked or walked around the block in their stroller a hundred times. But it's not just the baby that's keeping you up. Even if you're exhausted, the intense pressure to sneak in sleep whenever possible can actually make it harder to doze off. Quote,

[00:03:28] And even if your mind isn't revved up over trying to fall asleep, when you actually have that quiet time when you're not tending to your tiny human, all the things you didn't have a chance to think about before suddenly start flooding your brain. From big questions like, what will life be like after your parental leave ends? To mundane ones like, what's for dinner tomorrow? The sleep situation can get even worse if you recently gave birth. The steep drop in hormones like estrogen and progesterone

[00:03:56] that comes right after your baby is born can affect parts of your brain responsible for helping you snooze, leading to major sleep disruptions. The result isn't just fewer hours of total sleep. It's lower quality sleep that doesn't sync up with your body's natural circadian rhythm. Dozing in one or two hour snippets deprives you of REM sleep, which plays an important role in emotional health, learning, and memory. Missing out means the sleep you do manage to sneak in is less restorative.

[00:04:26] That can leave your nerves shot and send your mood straight to the gutter. When you sleep bad, you feel bad, and then you sleep even worse. A night or two of crummy sleep means you might be in a crummy mood. But things can get serious when the sleep situation goes south for weeks or months on end, which is exactly what happens when you're caring for a newborn. Sleep deprivation sends your stress hormones skyrocket, and impairs your ability to think clearly and regulate your emotions.

[00:04:56] For some people, that might mean having a little less energy or enthusiasm, or getting upset a little more easily. But for plenty of others, it can be a tipping point toward major depression or an anxiety disorder. And since we tend to sleep worse when our emotions are in a bad place, you can end up getting hurled into a vicious cycle of poor sleep, feeling bad because you're sleep deprived, and then not being able to sleep because you feel bad, and the next day, feeling even worse. To be continued.

[00:05:29] You just listened to part one of the post titled, Yes, Parents, Your Lack of Sleep is Affecting Your Mental Health, by Mary Grace Taylor of Healthline.com. Part one in the books, folks. I really like where this post is going. Sleep is one of those really silent killers, something that's so easy to overlook and work around due to the subtlety and immeasurability of its effects. This is a really important thing to talk about for anyone who doesn't sleep enough, not just parents.

[00:05:58] But it's important to note the ways in which this can impede our relationships with both our children and ourselves. So if you like where this is going, do come on back for the second part tomorrow where we will hear some more research and more ideas on how to overcome this so as to develop a healthy lifestyle for yourself and your children. I'll have most of my commentary then, and I will look forward to seeing you for that Friday episode tomorrow. That's where your optimal life awaits.