2478: [Part 2] Yes, Parents, Your Lack of Sleep Is Affecting Your Mental Health by Marygrace Taylor of Healthline

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. Yes, Parents, Your Lack of Sleep Is Affecting Your Mental Health. Part 2 by Marygrace Taylor of Healthline.com This sleep-depression cycle is possible for anyone who doesn't log enough shut-eye. But more and more, the evidence is showing that sleep deprivation and lower sleep quality play a role in the development of postpartum psychiatric disorders.

[00:00:25] And the worse a new mom's sleep is, the greater her risk might be. The situation can easily keep on snowballing from there. Women with postpartum depression sleep about 80 fewer minutes a night compared to those without PPD. And infants of depressed mothers tend to sleep worse themselves, making it even harder for parents to get the sleep they so desperately need. But you don't have to give birth to be at heightened risk for serious mood issues when you have a newborn.

[00:00:51] Studies show that new fathers report just as much sleep disturbance and fatigue as new mothers. And since fathers or partners who don't give birth often tend to return to work sooner, any chance of sneaking in a short nap during the day ends up going out the window. Feeling a little off is normal, but there's a point when it becomes too much. No one feels like themselves right after having a baby. Some people don't feel like themselves for months and months. That's partly from feeling very, very tired.

[00:01:21] But it also just comes with the territory of navigating a major life change. But there's a point where the typical not feeling like yourself that comes with having a baby morphs into something more serious. The best way to reduce the chances of that happening is by being proactive. Quote, it would be fantastic if you thought about how you might respond to sleep deprivation as part of preparing to have a child. By taking a sleep inventory and seeing what works best for your baseline. Monk says.

[00:01:51] Chances are, if you're listening to this though, you're already in the throes of a baby-driven sleep upheaval. In that case, Monk recommends taking a few days to keep a sleep diary and track how your shut eye or lack thereof seems to be affecting you emotionally. Quote, you might notice, for instance, that on the day your sister was over and you got four hours of sleep in a row, it made a huge difference in your mood, she says.

[00:02:15] Once you've gathered some specifics on what you need to feel your best, you can take steps to make it more achievable. If you're partnered, taking shifts with the baby as equally as possible is the obvious first step. So if that's not your current reality, find a way to make it happen. If you're breastfeeding exclusively, strive for more equal shifts rather than actually equal. In the early days, you pretty much have to breastfeed every two to three hours to establish your supply and keep it up,

[00:02:43] making it harder for your partner to split the feeding duties. This can be excruciatingly hard. But your partner can help make it so you can get back to sleep after nursing ASAP. Maybe they could bring the baby into bed so you can breastfeed lying down and supervise in case you doze off, then put the baby back in their bassinet or crib, Monk suggests. Beyond that, maybe a family member or friend can come over on set days each week so you can get a block of protected sleep. Sometimes, just knowing that block is coming can give you a boost.

[00:03:14] If that's not doable, it might be worth factoring a nanny or night nurse into your budget. Even one day a week can help. Be open about your feelings too, both with your partner and friends or family members, or with other new parents you might meet at a local support group. Research shows that sometimes just talking about the challenges of being sleep-deprived with a new baby can make you feel a little better. Ideally, you'll take these steps before things reach a level where you feel the need to talk to a mental health professional.

[00:03:43] But, if at any point your sleep deprivation has totally zapped your interest in the things you usually enjoy, is making it hard for you to bond with the baby, has caused you to lose your appetite, or has left you feeling like you're not capable of being a good parent, reach out to your healthcare provider about talking to a therapist. You really won't feel like this forever. Really. The thing about falling into an emotional well as a worn-out new parent

[00:04:08] is that it can sometimes be hard to see the light at the end of the crazy, very exhausting tunnel. My own mental state definitely improved in fits and phases after Eli was born, and it took close to a year before I felt things had reached a new normal. But the first step toward feeling better definitely came when he started eating less at night, and eventually sleeping straight through. While you may not be able to picture it now, your little one will, with time, get better at sleeping, and allow you to get more rest.

[00:04:38] Quote, There can be this panic that this is what it's like now. But it will end, Monk says. You can pause and remember that a year ago you may not even have been pregnant. And now look at how your life has changed. Time, development, and maturation does happen, she says. You just listened to part two of the post titled, Yes, parents, your lack of sleep is affecting your mental health.

[00:05:04] By Mary Grace Taylor of Healthline.com And a great part two it was for Mary Grace. Thanks so much to her for her words of wisdom and for sharing some really great research. We always love that. I really, really like the recommendation here to plan in advance for a lack of sleep and to figure it into your strategy as a parent. It's so easy for parents to focus only on the needs of the baby, which makes sense, obviously.

[00:05:29] But rather than seeing sleep as a side effect or an afterthought that you'll just deal with as you get there, create a plan of action towards it. Not only will this be good for your physical and mental health, as the article alludes to, but it's also good to get you off on the right foot of parenting, which is not to neglect your own well-being. We know how common it is for parents to lose their identities a bit in the fray of parenting. And while this may seem nurturing and good for the child,

[00:05:58] over time it prevents us from parenting as efficiently as we'd like to. It puts us at risk of having regrets, forgetting who we are outside of parenting, etc. These types of subtleties come through the interactions we have with children, and not in an ideal way. You want to bring a balanced mood to them, and you want to bring an example to them of someone who is caring of their children and themselves. This will certainly set a good example in the long run. Now, that's going to do it for today, everyone.

[00:06:28] Many thanks again to Mary Grace for this two-parter. If you like this and you like Healthline, we're a lot more prone to reading from them on Optimal Health Daily, actually. So be sure to check out some of those episodes if you haven't yet. Time to wrap things up on ORdevo. So I hope you have a great rest of your day, and I hope you'll come back tomorrow, that's where your optimal life awaits.