2497: How to Get Your 5-Year Old to Help Around the House by Andy Hill of Marriage, Kids and Money

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, How to Get Your 5-Year-Old to Help Around the House by Andy Hill of MarriageKidsAndMoney.com On a recent Friday evening, I came home from a long day of work, and to my surprise, I saw my 5-year-old daughter Zoe vacuuming our kitchen. I asked my wife what our little one was up to, but she was just as perplexed as I was.

[00:00:25] We'd been working with Zoe to do her chores every Saturday morning for the past year, but she has never taken the initiative to do them on her own. After Zoe finished vacuuming, she asked my wife and I to leave the kitchen while she put away the silverware. She told us that she wanted it to be a surprise. We let this cleaning frenzy go on for another 15 minutes before we stopped her and asked, Why are you doing your chores today, Zoe? I love you. I want to help the Hill family, she said.

[00:00:54] When those words came out of her mouth, my heart filled with such pride and love, our little girl understood what it meant to be part of a good family. We don't just express our love through words, we express it through action. It's time to do the chores. Zoe wasn't always this angelic. In the beginning, our requests to complete her chores were followed up by a round of crying, whining, and pouting. My arms are too tired, was my favorite response.

[00:01:23] Through consistency, a partnership with my wife, and adding in a little fun, we've been able to make Zoe's chores a weekly Hill family tradition. Here are the seven ways we set this chore tradition in motion. Number one, get on the same page with your spouse. Helping your kids learn the importance of contributing to the household responsibilities is a big deal. That's why it's important to be in lockstep with your spouse on the chore rules and schedule.

[00:01:51] It takes teamwork and consistency from both parents to help make this life-changing tradition become a habit for your children. Here are some of the things to discuss up front with your spouse. What are the chores we feel are appropriate for our child? Which chores should we pay for, and which ones should we not pay for? When is the best time and day to complete these chores? Number two, separate everyday responsibilities from chores for pay.

[00:02:20] My wife Nicole and I agreed that Zoe would have both family chores and money chores. Family chores are activities that Zoe does as a member of the family. Some of these chores include putting her dirty clothes in the hamper, setting the table before dinner, and clearing dishes after meals. Money chores are contributions that go above and beyond her typical responsibilities. Zoe receives one dollar for each of these chores.

[00:02:45] Some of the activities where Zoe gets cash include putting away the silverware, emptying the trash receptacles around the house, and putting away her laundry after mom and dad fold it. Number three, create a consistent schedule. After examining our busy weeks, we found that Saturday morning was the best time to complete the money chores with Zoe. We thought avoiding the weekdays for these important tasks would help the whole family's sanity level.

[00:03:12] We do our best to stay consistent with this schedule, so it becomes the normal way of life for our little girl. Now she wakes up on Saturday mornings and knows it's chore time. Do we miss a couple of weeks here and there? Absolutely. But overall, the regular schedule has helped our little girl succeed and truly bring a sense of harmony to our home. As for the family chores, those do require a bit more support and gentle reminders from Nicole and I.

[00:03:38] We do our best to use non-confrontational communication techniques like those outlined in books, like how to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk. We're new parents, so we're still learning quite a bit in this department. Number four, be a good example. I learned this one from trial and error. In the beginning, I would show Zoe how to put away the silverware and then I'd say, OK, you've got this. Then I would leave the room and do something else. That didn't work.

[00:04:07] Minutes later, she'd get bored or frustrated and simply stop. What I learned, maybe obvious to most, is that my girl just wants to be around me. She wants to spend time with her dad. If her dad says that chores are an important thing, then I should be doing chores too, right alongside her. When my girl is doing the silverware now, I'm doing the dishes. When I'm folding laundry, she's putting away her laundry. This type of system shows her the importance of teamwork and family responsibility.

[00:04:37] I guess we're both learning. Number five, make it fun. Chores don't have to be boring. You can easily make it fun for your little ones with a little effort. Here are a couple of ways we make Zoe smile. Music. We ask Alexa to play Disney music and we both sing along while we're cleaning the kitchen. If Zoe is in a great mood, she even lets me play some of my favorite music too. Challenges. How quickly can you put away your socks and shirt, Zoe? I'll time you. Get some every time.

[00:05:08] Number six, provide an emotional and monetary reward. Every time Zoe completes her set of money chores, I immediately do the following. Hand her $3. For each chore, she gets $1. Physically get down on her level and tell her how much I appreciate her hard work and contribution. Give her a big hug. She's a big fan of money. She must get that from her dad.

[00:05:30] After piling up her savings over the last year, she's been able to save up to buy some fun things like her own Moana DVD, tiny little toys called Num Noms and Mashems, and even her own color-changing clothes. Even more than the money, I think she loves the one-on-one love and attention she gets from her dad. I'm usually working decently long hours with my job and traveling out of town on occasions. This is an opportunity for us to bond and for me to show her how much I love her.

[00:05:59] Number seven, provide age-appropriate chores. A major key to household chore success is providing tasks that are simple enough to do but are also helpful. Here are some of the chores that Zoe and three-year-old brother Calvin have done that fall into the simple yet helpful category. Age three, family chores. Wiping up spills, cleaning up toys. Age three, money chores. Putting folded clothes in drawers with help. Wiping counters.

[00:06:29] Age four, family chores. Setting napkins and silverware on the table for dinner. Putting dirty clothes in the hamper. Age four, money chores. Vacuuming cars with help. Matching socks for laundry. Age five, family chores. Getting dressed without help. Bed. Age five, money chores. Empty small garbage receptacles from around the house. Raking leaves with help. Six years old and beyond.

[00:06:58] My Zoe turned six years old this week. I'm so proud of the little girl she's become. I'm sure you can't tell by now. As she grows older, I'm sure there will be lots of new tactics I have to learn. My fun tricks won't always work, I know. I'm planning on increasing her pay from $3 per week to $5 and slightly increasing the number and difficulty of the chores. This plan might go completely sideways on me. But I've found the best way to learn is through trial and error.

[00:07:26] I hope my little girl sees my mistakes and watches me learn from them. Honestly, I think that will be the most valuable lesson of all. You just listened to the post titled, How to Get Your Five-Year-Old to Help Around the House by Andy Hill of MarriageKidsAndMoney.com. Thanks a lot to Andy today for offering a lot of specificity in how parents can effectively blend lessons of teamwork,

[00:07:54] contribution, money, and above all, compassion for their kids. So a little bit more about him aside from his founding of MarriageKidsAndMoney.com. Andy's advice and personal finance experience have been featured in major media outlets like Business Insider, MarketWatch, Kiplinger's Personal Finance, and NBC News. Trusted as a personal finance influencer and corporate financial wellness speaker by global brands like JLL,

[00:08:23] Andy's message of family financial empowerment has resonated with listeners, readers, and viewers across the world. And when he's not talking money, he enjoys wrestling with his two kids, who we learned about today, singing karaoke with his wife, and watching Marvel movies, all 600 of them. Being that he emphasizes money in his work, again, you can catch him more often on OFD, Optimal Finance Daily. But clearly, he is wonderful at guiding parents to teach their kids the same lessons.

[00:08:50] So we will definitely see him more over here on ORD2. That is going to do it for today though, everyone. Thanks for staying until the end and supporting another episode. And do be sure to come on back tomorrow where I will have another great post for you. That's where your optimal life awaits.