2503: Pregnant With Number Two (How Things Seem Different) by Shawna Scafe of Simple Advice for Expectant Mothers

[00:00:00] Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships, and more. So to optimize your life in other areas, just search for Optimal Living Daily in your podcast app. Now on to the show. This is Optimal Relationships Daily Pregnant with Number Two How Things Seem Different by Shawna Scafe of SimpleOnPurpose.ca

[00:00:29] So, number two is on the way. It's been interesting to me the ways in which the pregnancy experience can shift so much from the first to the second time. If you are or have been in the same boat, I wonder if it's similar for you. You know before the plus sign appears. Before I was even four weeks, I knew I was pregnant. I was having crazy vivid dreams and bloating. I was also a little nuts, well, a lot of nuts, so much that my husband said,

[00:00:57] Should I just go to the drugstore already and get a test? You're obviously pregnant. He'd read my mind, and the test confirmed it, though it took five tests and blood work to really convince him through the shock. How quickly we forget. After learning I was pregnant with my firsts, I was eating some fancy chocolate and read the label aloud to my husband asking him what kirsch was. He panicked.

[00:01:21] It's booze. Spit it out. Rinse your mouth. Fast forward to being pregnant with number two, and he surprises me with a bottle of my favorite red because he forgot I was even pregnant. Oh well, he says. Guess I'll have to drink it all. Thanks for taking one for the team, hon. Being pregnant without being pregnant.

[00:01:41] With my son, I was reading every pregnancy app every day. I knew the developmental stage and fruit comparison of the fetus and the exact date I was at. I remember a friend telling me with her pregnancy that it was all she thought about. When I became pregnant, I learned how all those mysteries and questions quickly consumed all of your thoughts and energies. What would they look like? What will it be like? How will my body change adapt? What kind of mom will I be?

[00:02:10] I found this second time I already knew the answers. My world could go beyond this mystery of life in me, not to mention chasing around a one-year-old to distract me. I felt like this time around, I can just be pregnant without constantly being pregnant. The bump appears sooner. I thought this was a crazy phenomenon that my bump popped much sooner. It was nice to not have that prolonged is-she-pregnant-or-bloated stage.

[00:02:37] As my OBGYN put it, the uterus has a great memory. Give Google a break. I didn't find myself holding my breath for the first trimester like the first time. I've been pregnant before, though it took some time to get there and the delivery wasn't picture perfect. I still have a wonderful little kid to show my body's reproductive capabilities. I feel like there's less pressure on my body to prove itself, because I know what it can and can't do.

[00:03:05] I know what is normal with every cramp, ache, and other weird thing that happens, and I just take a hot bath and crawl back into bed without staying up through the night googling symptoms and worrying if something is wrong. Yes, honey, I do need more clothes. I'm a lot bigger a lot faster this time, and I'm pretty much on full maternity wardrobe. It was an easier transition into dressing the bump, as I had learned some tips and tricks the first time.

[00:03:34] And when something stopped fitting me, I knew the backup plan. I thought my original Preggers clothes would get me through this second and potentially third time, but I found myself buying more again. Darn you, online shopping. Not only were the maternity clothes I bought the first time for warmer weather, but some of them wore out quickly, got stained, or I bought things that just didn't flatter the bump or made me look like a plump peasant. Get this baby out of me, now.

[00:04:04] After talking to other moms, I learned that, yes, feeling like I am full term at only six months is normal. I went one day overdue with my son and never felt anxious to have this baby already. But at six months, I am so sore and achy in all of my joints and lower back. So much so that I'll get up in the middle of the night to have a hot bath. How will I make it three more months?

[00:04:29] When I think about it, the only part that's getting me through is knowing that every day is one more day in age difference between the two kids. Yes, I'm a little freaked out to have them so close in age. My body will never be the same. Yes, some lucky bi- I mean mothers. Never develop stretch marks. Well, I'll tell you something I learned this time. Your previous stretch marks can get their own stretch marks. That is a real freaking thing.

[00:04:58] I can't tell you how conflicted I feel about what I see in the mirror. This vessel of life looks like a bloated zebra. However, I've decided to stick with a good push-up bra, full midriff coverage, and worry about this later. I am due July 11th. My son will be 16 months then. No, it wasn't planned. Yes, I know how babies are made. It's true I've made a mental list of all the ways in which I'll be losing sleep, having rational thinking slowly slip away from me,

[00:05:27] and potentially becoming the mom who is drinking a glass of wine at lunch while still in her robe. It is terrifying, and I'd say my efforts and worries are more about how to manage once the baby is here, rather than it actually getting here. If any of you moms have any advice on having two young babes, or know a good sale on boxed wine, I'm all ears. You just listened to the post titled, Pregnant with Number 2, How Things Seem Different,

[00:05:57] by Shauna Scaife of simpleonpurpose.ca And thanks a lot to Shauna for keeping it light for us as she does so well. A really wonderful post to share with anyone who's maybe feeling stressed about a second pregnancy, particularly an unplanned one. Plenty of mothers out there aren't sure if they can do it again. These concerns are often physical, but many times emotional as well. Do I want to take the time out of work again? Do we have the money for another one?

[00:06:25] Or one that many may have a tough time saying out loud, will I love another just the same as I do my first? A second pregnancy, especially one that's occurred so quickly after the first pregnancy, can be really scary. And it'll be different. The key is to not let these differences scare you if you feel you aren't ready, or as ready as you'd like to be. If you're a mother who finds yourself in this situation, stop by Shauna's site so you can watch someone navigate multiple pregnancies gracefully,

[00:06:54] in spite of all the fear and confusion that they can come with. A shift of mindset and the reminder that all of these changes and tough feelings, even the hormonal changes, are normal, it can go a really long way. Time for me to get going now, everyone. Thank you once more to Shauna, and thanks to all of you for being here today. I appreciate you. I look forward to being back with you all tomorrow, and I will see you there where your optimal life awaits.