2541: 15 Mom Fails That Almost Every Mom Can Expect by Shawna Scafe of Simple on Purpose

[00:00:00] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, 15 Mom Fails That Almost Every Mom Can Expect by Shawna Scafe of SimpleOnPurpose.ca It was a full month before I confessed to anyone else. I told my sister-in-law that I forgot to buckle my son into his high chair and he flopped right out. The worst damage done was to my mom pride. She laughed at me.

[00:00:27] Soon, these mortified moments of parenting became the hushed and giggled conversations I'd have with my sister or girlfriend over a glass of wine. And as more new moms entered into my social circle and the confessions came out, I began to notice a trend. You will screw up. You will feel horrible. But your kids will be alright. 15 Mom Fails That Almost Every Mom Can Expect

[00:00:55] 1. You will forget to buckle them in. To a car seat, a high chair, a toddler swing. You will. Trash talk yourself at first. How hard can it be to remember safety first? Then you'll begin to recount those times you put your full, freshly poured cup of coffee in the fridge and brought out the ketchup bottle. Or the time you brought the TV remote to the grocery store instead of your phone. Having kids short-circuits the feedback loop between your brain and, well, everything.

[00:01:25] 2. You will accidentally clip their nails too short or, even worse, get their skin pinched in the clippers. You will cry more than they do. This may also be the last time you clip your kids' nails without bribery. 3. You won't get dressed for an entire day. Your entire family will sport the same lounging clothes for at least a 48-hour period. But, if you call it a PJ party and put it on Instagram, it's totally legit.

[00:01:54] 4. You will be all yelly. It's a word. And short with kids one day. And feel disgusting and guilty at the end of the day. If they get up in the middle of the night, you will rush in and guilt cuddle. That's a word too. Them. While singing them every lullaby and TV theme song you know. Twice. If they don't happen to wake, you will still go check on them before bed and just lay beside them kissing their forehead too many times and professing your love to them.

[00:02:24] 5. Your car will be dirty in a whole different way than pre-babies. Or in a way that says, McD's play place on wheels. One Saturday, you will be searching for the smell. Every parent's car has one. And you'll end up filling a garbage bag and two Rubbermaid bins of random shoes, broken toys, and food wrappers. 6. You will watch too much TV.

[00:02:50] No matter what limits you have in your home or what devices you have, there will be lots of days-uh that we brush off as a day of screen time. Fact is that moms don't get sick days or pregnant and exhausted days or been up all night with a newborn days. But we do get to stream Diego on Netflix. Don't worry though, TV is awesome. 7. You will lose a dirty diaper. Somewhere. Don't worry, you won't realize it right away.

[00:03:19] Eventually, you will smell it and have to dismantle entire rooms or your vehicle to find it wedged under a car seat. Either way, take this time to pat yourself on the back for cleaning and decluttering said room or vehicle. 8. You will feed them junk, more often than you ever intend to. A drive-through run for french fries or a bag of goldfish looks really like a sweet pina colada-filled oasis

[00:03:46] after trying to make gluten-free paleo homemade lunches and fizzling out to the false romance and work that that entails. Make this stuff because you want it. And relent that your kids will eat your quinoa waffles no more than twice before they decide they didn't like them anyway. And, hey, can I just have a cereal please? 9. You will fail at sleep training attempts.

[00:04:10] 10. You will try. 10. You will try. 11. You will try. 11. You will read a book, learn a mantra, and get geared up for the three nights of training. 12. Then, when the time comes, you will be whispering questions to your husband in the middle of the night, desperate for an answer on what to do. 12. While your baby's cries echo through the house and your boobs begin to throb with a fiery, hot, sleep-deprived ache, you will cave.

[00:04:37] Don't worry. You can try again tomorrow or next week. 10. You will pretend not to smell a poopy diaper, and then whisper in your kids' ears that they need to go give their dad a big hug. If he calls you on it, play dumb and challenge him to rock-paper-scissors, in the name of fairness. 11. You will sneak-eat, a word which encompasses all the tactics moms use to hide their consumption of the good food from their children's hungry eyes.

[00:05:08] 12. You will take credit for a random and brilliant thing your kid can suddenly do or say. Like the first time we realized our son knew all the alphabet letters, we both asked each other who taught it to him. Thank you, Super Y. We will take the credit from here. 13. You will miss baths, toothbrushing, and diaper changes a little more often than you let on.

[00:05:31] The peaceful nightly routine you had with a newborn will slowly adapt into a metaphorical board game of parenting as more kids, more poop, and more dirt come into your life. 14. Landed on, went in my pants? Go back to, bathe the kids before noon. 15. Rolled a, pending dentist visit? Pick up the, double up on the dental hygiene for a week card. 14. You will lie to your kids, for their own good of course.

[00:05:57] And by own good I mean so you can avoid another excruciating episode of Caliou or their relentless pleas for another park day. Besides, it helps their imagination if they believe that tiny invisible elves are repairing the spray park. Or the book fairy took away that My Little Pony book for a kid who needed one. Or we can't watch any more Diego, because he has to go home and eat all the dinner that his mommy made just for him.

[00:06:20] 15. The day you play a mental highlight reel asking yourself if your baby could roll off this bed or couch and conclude that they aren't there yet, will be the day they roll out of the bed or the couch. But remember, your kids still think you're awesome. So brush it off. Ask yourself how you want to move forward and show up for that mama. You just listened to the post titled,

[00:06:50] 15 Mom Fails That Almost Every Mom Can Expect by Shauna Scaife of simpleonpurpose.ca And thanks a million to Shauna for more laughs and lightheartedness for moms and myself and, well, all listeners that are not moms or myself, I'm sure. Shauna's whole philosophy is such an important one for parents. In each of her posts, she is so masterful at taking the direness out of parenting.

[00:07:16] We go into parenthood feeling such a blend of excitement and precaution, but we have to trust that we're always going to do our best and act out of love for our children. Otherwise, the precaution becomes obsession. We measure ourselves by our mistakes or lack thereof, and we even find it more challenging to have balance in life and identities outside of parenthood.

[00:07:38] The more we can laugh at our mishaps and stay aware of the fact that they are happening to all parents, yes, all parents, the easier we can make life on ourselves, but also on our children too. Obsession over hiding parenting errors will most definitely emerge in how parents treat their children, not wanting them to make errors of their own or behave in such a way that an observer might track back to poor parenting. So as in every area of life, learn to laugh at yourself.

[00:08:05] And Shauna is a great teacher for that really important mentality. So that'll do it for today. I thank you for joining me and making another episode possible. Come on back for more in tomorrow's Friday show where your optimal life awaits. Come on back for more in tomorrow's Friday show where your optimal life is.