2544: Why Your Relationships Are More Important Than Money by Lisa Harrison of Mad Money Monster

[00:00:00] Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships, and more. So to optimize your life in other areas, just search for Optimal Living Daily in your podcast app. Now on to the show. Hello, everybody, and welcome to our weekly bonus episode here on Optimal Relationships Daily, brought to you by me, Greg Audino.

[00:00:26] Now, in case you're new to the show, each Sunday, in addition to our regularly scheduled post, we also do a bonus episode that features a previous airing from another show on our network. This way, you can get a taste of everything we have to offer, maybe check out some of our other shows should they touch upon topics you like. We also cover personal development, health, work, and finance, which today's post will be about.

[00:00:51] So, without further ado, let's hear Diana, our narrator on Optimal Finance Daily, read this post and offer her commentary as we optimize your life. Why your relationships are more important than money by Lisa Harrison of MadMoneyMonster.com

[00:01:13] I recently embarked on a thousand-mile road trip and was elated with the string of consciousness I experienced. My road trip afforded me a full eight hours each way of solitude. Yep, it was just me, my cheesy 80s and 90s music, and my thoughts. During my drive, I noticed a reoccurring theme. I noticed just how much I thought about my varying relationships over the years,

[00:01:43] and just how much I enjoyed the people that have come in and out of my life, and those who have stayed. After much reflection and enjoyment, I realized something I already knew on some level. Relationships are way more important than money. I'm assuming you agree, so let's talk about it. The Default Setting A wise professor once told me that our thoughts will automatically default to our relationships

[00:02:13] if we're not being distracted by outside stimuli. Based on my experience, he was right. Ironically, the same professor eventually became one of my most trusted friends, and even officiated my wedding to Mr. MadMoneyMonster. Almost immediately upon starting my long trip, I realized just how many people were popping into my thoughts. I thought about people I hadn't thought about in years.

[00:02:40] I remembered conversations I had eons ago, and even caught myself laughing out loud. Suddenly, I was remembering holiday gatherings as a child, dates I had with my college boyfriend, and personal dramas I shared with only my closest friends. It was sobering to also realize that I am the sum total of my experiences, good and bad. And so are you.

[00:03:08] I was truly experiencing what my good friend had stated so many years ago. My thoughts automatically drifted to my relationships when given free reign, and it was wonderful. Time is limited and a precious commodity. According to an 80-year-long study conducted by Harvard, quote, Good friends protected people from mental and physical decline,

[00:03:35] and gave a better idea of how long someone's life will be than their social class, IQ, or genes. End quote. Tell me that isn't a powerful statement. Whoa. The older I get, the more I realize how quickly time passes. I realize that days turn into years, and years turn into decades, almost overnight. The power of strong bonds.

[00:04:01] In my world, I feel a sense of security because I have strong bonds with people. I mean, let's face it. When a crisis strikes, I'm not going to log onto my online banking app for solace. Instead, the first thing I'm going to do is call a trusted family member or friend to talk through the situation. I have, in fact, used this strategy many times throughout my life, with great success.

[00:04:29] Case in point, when I was younger, our house caught on fire and was destroyed while we were away for the day. The first thing I did when we got notified by the fire department was call my friends for assurance that everything was going to work out and be okay. Granted, I was in college, so I wasn't responsible for replacing our belongings via savings and insurance,

[00:04:53] but I'm fairly certain I would react the same way today if faced with such a crisis. This memory of that experience is a reminder that the people we have strong bonds with are the people that have a wonderful way of making us feel like everything's going to be just fine when faced with a less than ideal situation. Money is just a tool. Of course, I'm not advocating that money isn't important at all.

[00:05:22] Obviously, I think money is extremely important and needs to be at the forefront of planning and decision making. However, after your financial systems are in place to meet your goals, money just becomes a tool to live a less stressful and more satisfying life. I was listening to a podcast the other day and heard the host say that you can only do three things with money. Spend it, save it, and give it. I guess that is a true statement. Let's break it down.

[00:05:52] Number one, spend it. Spending money can give us great pleasure when we're spending it on things and people that we value. I find that I often get way more enjoyment out of spending money on other people than I do on myself. I have also noticed that spending money on experiences gives me lasting memories that I cherish, like our Disney vacation we took a couple of years ago.

[00:06:17] It's a stark difference from the way I operated in my early 20s, but in my opinion, it's a positive change. Thought experiment. Imagine spending money on an unforgettable vacation to the destination of your choice with someone you love. Those memories would last a lifetime and be worth every penny. Number two, save it.

[00:06:41] Saving money can be a bit boring, which is probably why a large chunk of people have a difficult time doing it. However, saving money leads to financial stability. And when you're financially stable, you have one less thing to worry about. Thought experiment. Imagine you're sitting there listening to this with a million dollars or more invested.

[00:07:03] I'm no psychic, but I'm willing to bet you'd feel a lot more secure and maybe even enjoy having more life options. And number three, give it. Giving money is one of its best uses. Giving money allows you to give an opportunity to someone who wouldn't otherwise have a choice. Thought experiment.

[00:07:26] Imagine you are able to save up enough money to help your son, daughter, niece, or nephew attend their dream school for college or technical training. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you wouldn't regret it. Sometimes I catch myself tracking our net worth almost incessantly. When this happens, and it happens more than I'd like to admit,

[00:07:49] I like to take a moment to catch my breath and remind myself that our bottom line doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of our lives. What matters is that we have enough money to live comfortably and to enjoy each other and everyone else we choose to accept into our lives. What matters in the end? What really matters in the end is that you live a fulfilling life with the people you value most.

[00:08:16] Those experiences and memories will mean just as much, if not more, to the next generation than the money you leave behind. Relationships are more important than money. Here's why. We all die and you can't take it with you. A wad of cash will never comfort you when you have a bad day or experience. Money can't make you happy. But friends and family can.

[00:08:42] And you can't go out to dinner or on a vacation with your bank account. You just listened to the post titled, Why Your Relationships Are More Important Than Money, by Lisa Harrison of madmoneymonster.com. Now this is my kind of article. Obviously, I wholeheartedly agree that relationships are more important than money. Especially because you can always make more money.

[00:09:12] But if you don't take care of your relationships, they can wither unintentionally. Social capital is a unique form of currency in a way. And it's special because you can't really spend money to acquire it. You need to spend your time and energy to foster deep, meaningful relationships. While I'm not the wealthiest person in the world monetarily, I'm surrounded by a rock solid support system that makes me feel rich as hell.

[00:09:42] The people in my life are absolutely incredible. And I rely on them heavily for emotional support. I've been very intentional on who I spend the most time with. As I know that the people around me, for better or worse, will influence me. And I'd like that to be a positive influence. While relationships are certainly more important than money, they can save you money too.

[00:10:08] I think about all the times I've moved and all the people who lovingly helped me. Or even something as simple as giving a spare key to my neighbor. Sure, if I'm locked out of my house, I certainly have the resources to call a locksmith. But it's just so much easier and cheaper to call my friend next door. This article reminded me of an awesome speech from the Economy Conference, which is an event I produce. It's from my very good friend Lynn Frere.

[00:10:38] And it's called The Eight Forms of Capital. After surviving a brain tumor that wiped out her family's financial security and rebuilding her house that was on the verge of collapse, Lynn saw firsthand how investing in non-financial capital led her to financial freedom. Lynn explains that by recognizing our other forms of capital, we might actually have greater wealth than we realize.

[00:11:07] And that should do it for today. Have a happy rest of your day. And I'll see you on the Friday show tomorrow, where your optimal life awaits.