2551: 9 Important Strategies for Raising Children in a World of Technology by Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist

[00:00:00] Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:25] Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships, and more. So to optimize your life in other areas, just search for Optimal Living Daily in your podcast app. Now on to the show. This is Optimal Relationships Daily, 9 Important Strategies for Raising Children in a World of Technology by Joshua Becker of BecomingMinimalist.com.

[00:00:55] Quote, We refuse to turn off our computers, turn off our phone, log off Facebook, and just sit in silence. Because in those moments, we might actually have to face up to who we really are. End quote. That's by Jefferson Bethke. Recently, Allison Slater Tate wrote an important article in the Washington Post, Parenting as a Gen Xer. We're the first generation of parents in the age of I everything.

[00:01:22] Allison articulates and draws attention to a unique struggle facing our generation of parents, namely, how to raise children in an age of technology. She sums up our current challenge like this.

[00:01:35] My generation, it seems, had the last of the truly low-tech childhoods. And now we are among the first of the truly high-tech parents. When it comes to parenting, I find this middle place extremely uncomfortable. Because I know what childhood and adolescence were like before the internet. But all my parenting models came from that era. Technology wins the prize for being the trickiest parenting challenge I've faced.

[00:02:02] Parents today know the decisions we make for our kids concerning technology are important, but entirely without context. Our conversations on the sidelines at soccer games about these issues are never based on proven experience, like when I was a kid, my mom used to dot dot dot. Instead, it's based on guesswork and the little wisdom we've gained. Well, this is what we've decided to do. What about you guys? Allison summarizes it well. Quote,

[00:03:30] children from the tools of the world, but equipping them to use those tools properly. We should be active and intentional in teaching them how to use technology effectively and to its fullest potential. In practical terms, this means both of my children received iPods on their 7th birthday, and they will receive phones on their 13th. 2. Moderation is encouraged and modeled. While we know very little about the future of technology and how it might look,

[00:03:58] we do have ample study on the effects of screen time on kids. Studies have shown that excessive media use can lead to attention problems, school difficulties, sleep and eating disorders, and obesity. Most recently, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends television and other entertainment media should be avoided entirely for infants and children under age 2. For older kids, quote, to help them make wise media choices, parents should monitor their media diet for

[00:04:27] both duration and content, end quote. We have adopted a similar philosophy to the one mentioned by Allison, who said, quote, we make the children sit in public places when they are on devices or laptops. We look over shoulders, we check text message histories, and set parental controls. We worry about their cyber footprints, end quote. Number three, age restrictions on technology are

[00:04:53] an appropriate guideline. The minimum age for Facebook and Instagram is 13 years old. We're not allowing our kids to have accounts on those networks or others before the minimum age limit is reached. While some kids under the age of 13 may be mature enough to use those networks wisely, there is a bigger issue at play. Honesty. When we allow our children to misrepresent their age or identity solely for the purpose of gaining access, we set a dangerous precedent.

[00:05:19] Number four, technology is changing the way we relate to one another. But face-to-face conversation is still important in the present and will likely be important in the future. Technology is permanently changing the way we communicate. Whether it's for the better or not remains to be seen. Older generations will argue technology is destroying conversation. Younger generations will argue technology is enhancing it. Only time will tell. But either way, our children will forever

[00:05:49] live in a world where their immediate elders, their parents, respect and expect verbal conversation. Future generations may value it less. But in the meantime, for our children to be successful in communicating with older generations, they must be able to communicate both online and in person. We should create safe opportunities where they can learn. Number five, technology increases opportunity for distraction. From leaving present conversations,

[00:06:17] procrastinating important work, or losing the ability to self-reflect, technology represents an ever-present temptation to leave difficult places. Those who will succeed in the future will be the ones who learn to overcome this temptation. Number six, technology can be used for consumption or creation. Choose creation whenever possible. This is perhaps one of the most important distinctions concerning technology that we can

[00:06:44] teach our children. We can play video games, or we can create them. We can browse Facebook, or we can create places and communities that serve a purpose. There is a place in our world for technological consumption. But as an approach to life, creation trumps consumption every day. Help your children know the difference. Number seven, your self-worth cannot be calculated by likes and shares and retweets.

[00:07:11] The praise of others is a fickle thing upon which to measure our worth. It is a foolish, ever-changing target. It often negatively impacts the decisions we make and the life we choose to live. But it never fully satisfies our hearts or our souls. It's important for our kids to understand their self-worth must be found elsewhere. And it is equally important for us as adults to learn the same. Number eight, you can't believe everything you see on the internet. The internet could use more fact

[00:07:40] checkers, though I'm not overly concerned about this. My elementary-age kids already debate whether Wikipedia is a reliable source for group projects. Far more damaging, in my opinion, are the profiles we create representing ourselves online. We post our most glorious moments online, but hide the most painful. We build a facade of happiness, success, and an image of having it all together, but inside,

[00:08:04] we're as lost and broken as the next person. Our online selves need more authenticity. And our children need to know the danger of comparing themselves to the rose-colored profiles created on social media. Number nine, technology serves a purpose. It should solve problems. Purchasing technology purely for the sake of owning technology is a fool's gold, and has run countless others into

[00:08:29] great debt. When it comes to buying or using technology, I want my children to be routinely asking the question, what problem does it solve? Because technology should make our lives easier and more efficient. And if a new technology is not solving an existing problem, it's only adding to them. Parenting requires a healthy balance of humility and fierce resolve.

[00:08:55] You just listened to the post titled, Nine Important Strategies for Raising Children in a World of Technology, by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com. And many thanks to Joshua for encouraging parents and all of us, really, to take a second look at technology and how to approach it. I really love this material. I love a lot of it, especially the quality over quantity factor, I think is my favorite.

[00:09:20] So, let's make sure our kids are creating new and inclusive communities on Facebook, rather than just browsing aimlessly, I believe he said. So, this kind of notion stands to really open us up to a whole new perception of social media technology, all of which is, frankly, an inevitable part of the future. There is no backtracking. So, whether you grew up around tech or

[00:09:44] not, it's in our best interest now to look for new ways of thinking like this. Thoughts about how we can use tech for good and befriend it, as opposed to erasing it or convincing ourselves that it's ruining the world. Doing so will improve a lot of our lives and what we're capable of, and can also help to pivot some of our suspicions about technology, again, like destroying the world and taking it over for the worse. I know I've fallen victim to that kind of thinking in the past, but it is ultimately

[00:10:14] fear-based and speculative, which we are not trying to do here. At least I'm not. So, some things to think about. I'll let you get to it, because we are done for the day. Really grateful you showed up once again, and hopefully we'll share this episode. Thanks for being here and making all this possible, guys. It really means a lot. And if you'd like, we will be back again tomorrow. That's where your optimal life awaits.