2566: [Part 2] Ungrateful Child - 5 Ways to Combat Entitlement in Kids by Jen of This Time of Mine

[00:00:00] Hey, it's Justin from Optimal Living Daily. Before we start, I want to share a super powerful practice I use called NSDR or Non-Sleep Deep Rest. In just about 10 minutes or so, this Yoga Nidra practice leaves you feeling as refreshed as after a nap without actually sleeping. Experience it for yourself on our guided podcast. Search NSDR and look for the one from Optimal Living Daily.

[00:00:24] This is Optimal Relationships Daily, Ungrateful Child, 5 Ways to Combat Entitlement in Kids, Part 2 by Jen of ThisTimeofMine.com 3. Normalize Struggle Stress, failure, natural consequences, waiting patiently, hearing the word no, these aren't easy things for kids to deal with. Neither are the big and difficult emotions they bring.

[00:00:53] But as hard as it is to watch our kids struggle, we have to let them, so they can learn to deal with the ups and downs life inevitably brings. Each time we support our kids through difficulty, rather than rescue them from it, we're helping them break free from a victim mentality, so they can develop important life skills.

[00:01:12] Ones that will help them create a growth mindset, develop an optimistic outlook on life, grow their problem-solving skills, practice self-regulation, and take pride in their patience and hard work. Bonus tip, let your kids see you struggle. Show them what it looks like to keep going when things get hard, and that everyone makes mistakes. Kids often don't realize that grown-ups struggle too. Number 4. Lead by Example

[00:01:41] When things don't work out the way we want, it's easy to blame, judge, or focus too much on what we deserve. But when we do this, aren't we modeling the very behavior we don't want to see in our kids? All of us have fallen victim to this type of behavior, of course, but we can also make a more conscious effort to show gratitude, help others, and be more gentle in our judgment of others. Because our kids are watching, and they learn a lot that way.

[00:02:08] So, we can take our kids with us to drop off a birthday treat to a friend, or a meal to a sick neighbor. We can take good care of what we have, and we can say thank you more often, including to our kids. It's little things like these that help us move away from do what I say, not what I do, and lead by example instead. In turn, it will become even more natural for our kids to follow in our footsteps. Number 5. Widen your child's perspective

[00:02:38] Taking a child to a community service project is a great way to contribute to society, but unfortunately, isolated events aren't usually the solution to ungrateful behavior. In fact, kids often learn best by repeated exposure and small examples close to their personal sphere of experience. Here are a few ideas. Encourage your child to think about how another person might be feeling. Watch movies and read stories about people in real life who overcame struggles.

[00:03:07] Talk about your family's blessings, often. Discuss ways to share simple things with others. Pretty flowers from the garden, extra candy, unused toys, etc. Find opportunities for them to meet and interact with people who come from various backgrounds. Deliver goodies to neighbors. Talk about what it means to be able to travel, practice religion, have access to modern medicine, vote, along with stories about how many of these privileges came to be.

[00:03:35] Show them how to take care of their belongings properly. Teach them about saving, spending, and earning money. Help them fill out a donation form to a cause of their choice. Helping our kids become more aware of the world around them will encourage them to move away from a shortage mindset so they can begin noticing the abundance in their own lives and develop the desire to share it with others. Because in reality, happiness is rooted in what we learn to focus on.

[00:04:03] What does an ungrateful child look like anyway? My child isn't entitled. Right? Before reading Amy McCready's book, The Me Me Me Epidemic, I figured my kids were safe from the entitlement trap. They didn't fit the spoiled child stereotype after all, and it wasn't like I gave them everything they wanted. But I never truly understood the signs of an ungrateful child.

[00:04:27] And what was more, I didn't realize that some of the struggles we were having were actually because of my kids' growing sense of entitlement. I told you, entitlement is sneaky. So, if you're like me and want to know what to look for, here are some of the signs McCready outlines in her book. An ungrateful child might Become overly disappointed when things don't work out Expect bribes or rewards for good behavior Pass blame when things go wrong Show inability to handle disappointment

[00:04:57] Rarely take initiative to help Constantly whine, demand, or bargain for things Care more about their own needs than anything else Expect to be rescued from mistakes Need bribes or treats to comply Feel that rules don't apply to them And always want more and more and more Again, if your child is showing behaviors like these, don't worry. It's not a sign of how the rest of their life will turn out.

[00:05:25] It merely means that it's time for them to learn a new set of skills. So before rushing to dole out punishment and harsh discipline, Shift your focus back to teaching. Try starting with the skills outlined in this article. And over time, you will see your child become more engaged in their lives And content with what they have. You just listened to part two of the post titled Ungrateful Child?

[00:05:52] Five ways to combat entitlement in kids By Jen Of thistimeofmine.com Hi Freunde, seid ihr gerade auf der Suche nach einer App, mit der ihr alle eure Finanzen im Überblick habt? Mit Finanzgeur erhältst du genau das. Ihr könnt alle eure Konten verbinden, egal ob Girokonto, Kreditkarte, Depot oder auch eure Kryptobörse. Und dabei werden alle eure Eindahmen und Ausgaben automatisch kategorisiert und übersichtlich in der App aufbereitet. Und habt ihr erst einmal ein Konto verbunden, zeigt ihr die App alle Verträge übersichtlich an.

[00:06:20] Ihr könnt sogar überflüssige Verträge per Fingertipp rechtssicher über die App kündigen. Falls das Ganze euch interessiert, checkt gerne mal die Finanzgeur App aus. Und jetzt viel Spaß mit dem Podcast. And what a great post from Jen, huh? So much covered here. A lot to think about for sure. But now that we've considered how to put the spotlight on an ungrateful child, I think what I'd like to do is encourage parents to put the spotlights on themselves. Jen began this post by talking about how parents are in a mad dash

[00:06:48] to make sure their children are happy all the time. This definitely seems like a noble effort, doesn't it? But I challenge you to ask yourselves why. Reflect on what it means to you for them to have all their needs exceeded, not just what it means to them. Are you letting social pressures get to you? Are you not giving yourself permission to lag behind sometimes as a parent? Are you unsure of what difficult moments are better for your child's development to fix versus which ones to let them sit and deal with on their own?

[00:07:17] Asking these types of questions of ourselves as parents and understanding our own motivations can go a long way, especially if we're new or soon-to-be parents who still have a lot of time before their children would be shaped into feelings of entitlement. So think about and educate yourself on what's best for the child's development rather than what makes you look good as a parent either to the narratives of your peers or the narratives you've held about parenting, perhaps mistakenly.

[00:07:45] We bring a lot of our biases to parenting and understanding these early on can make the difference in whether or not your child gets to the point that you have to try these tactics that Jen has listed. That's enough out of me though, friends. Thanks a million for stopping in as always and be sure to come back and do the same tomorrow where I will have another post for you. That's where your optimal life awaits.