2582: How To Buy Yourself Back Some Me Time by Julie Morgenstern on Parenting Advice

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[00:00:30] Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships and more. So to optimize your life in other areas, just search for Optimal Living Daily in your podcast app. Now onto the show. This is Optimal Relationships Daily, How To Buy Yourself Back Some Me Time by Julie Morgenstern of juliemorgenstern.com.

[00:00:58] I just need a minute, joked Zibby Owens of Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books, after she confessed that she recently had been forced to retreat into the bathroom, where she climbed fully clothed into her empty bathtub and hid until her kids finally found her, just to get a minute alone.

[00:01:17] It's a moment I'm sure many parents can relate to. Once you have kids, finding any uninterrupted time in the day that's just yours, to just be quiet, to just think, or to just get one small thing off your own to-do list, is really hard to come by. But it's so essential. You don't want to find yourself at the end of your rope, hiding in a closet, or like Zibby in your own bathtub, just to get a minute to yourself.

[00:01:44] Believe it or not, it is possible to buy yourself back some me time after you have kids. You just have to be super organized and intentional about it. In other words, you don't want to find yourself stealing the time. You want to build it into your family's day. Here's how. Schedule a Regular Time It may seem like overboard to schedule breaks into your day, but you don't want to find yourself reactively scrambling for a minute alone whenever you hit a breaking point.

[00:02:13] Instead, choose two small chunks of time, think 15 to 30 minutes max, when you can reliably enjoy a few moments to yourself. Be strategic about the times you select. You want to pick a time when everyone else in the household can reasonably be occupied on their own. And, be sure to select at least two times per day. That way, if something pops up and one break gets derailed, you can still ensure that you always have at least one moment to yourself every day.

[00:02:43] Set Expectations You want to get everyone on your team. Your spouse, your kids, and if you're working from home, even your colleagues. You want everyone to know 11 a.m. to 11.30 a.m. is when mommy meditates, reads in the sunroom, works in the garden, insert activity of choice here. Or, to your colleagues, when Brenda is unavailable and only to be contacted if the company is burning to the ground.

[00:03:10] To further mitigate interruptions, be sure to set the kids up with an activity, snack time, a craft, silent reading, etc., that will keep them occupied while you're unavailable. If you have younger kids, it can be helpful to use a visual aid, like a timer, so that they can physically see the passing of time and more easily understand when you'll be back. Create a Relaxing Space You know the sayings, you are what you eat, and dress for success?

[00:03:40] The same logic applies here. Create a physical space in your life for the thing that you love to do, and you're more likely to actually do it. Even if that thing is, spend 10 minutes alone. You want to carve out a peaceful oasis for yourself, somewhere it's relaxing to just sit and be. 10 minutes of silence spent curled up in a cozy chair in the corner of your bedroom will be much more effective than 10 minutes of silence spent in a messy living room,

[00:04:08] littered with toys that are begging to be picked up and put away. Use your space to your advantage. Find fun that you can fit into your schedule. What activities instantly transport you to a place of pure joy and relaxation? Now, brainstorm a 15-30 minute version of that activity that you can fit into your break. You want to have a short little menu of things that you can do. Enjoy a sweet treat, curl up with a good book, meditate, listen to your favorite album,

[00:04:37] or just lie down quietly for a few minutes. Be wary of having too many options. This can overwhelm you. And whatever you do, be sure to plan your activity in advance. If you're scrambling every day at 1059 a.m. to work out how to best use your 30-minute break, it's going to pass you right on by, guaranteed. It may seem impossible to carve out any me time to attend to your own wants and needs after you have kids. But with a little planning and forethought, it can be done.

[00:05:08] Ultimately, what's good for your own mental health is also good for your children. So there's no need to feel selfish or guilty. Reclaiming a few minutes to yourself every day will not only make you feel happy and sane, it will also allow you to show up better for your kids and in everything you do. You just listened to the post titled, How to Buy Yourself Back Some Me Time, by Julie Morgenstern of juliemorgenstern.com.

[00:05:37] Yes, it may sound silly, but there is no shame in scheduling time for fun and relaxation during phases of life where responsibilities pile up. That being said, and with respect to the fact that a lot of this article is about finding alone time, don't forget that you can always also look for opportunities to stack things together. So while this might not mean alone time, if, for example, you love playing soccer and you haven't gotten to do it as much since you became a parent,

[00:06:07] then combining children's playtime with soccer is highly doable if you take the kids to the park and kick the ball around with them. So there are chances to do this quite often. And though they might not be quite the same, they might also come with some newfound benefits. You never know. So consider the types of things you might like to do with your precious free time, and if in any way, they can be integrated into your time with the kids. Okay, everyone. And that does it for this episode.

[00:06:34] Thanks, as always, for being here and sharing this post with someone. That's always highly appreciated. And make sure to come on back tomorrow for the Saturday show, where your optimal life awaits. Let's. you