2597: How to Define Simple Living for Your Family by Shawna Scafe of Simple On Purpose

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[00:00:30] Now before we start, you might want to check out our other podcasts covering topics like personal development and minimalism, money, health, relationships and more. So to optimize your life in other areas, just search for Optimal Living Daily in your podcast app. Now onto the show. This is Optimal Relationships Daily, How to Define Simple Living for Your Family by Shawna Scafe of simpleonpurpose.ca.

[00:00:59] Simple doesn't mean less of everything. It means less of the distractions, less of the excess, less of what doesn't truly matter to you, but for a host of reasons you let into your home and your life. Choosing simple is picking the best and leaving the rest. But there's always a choice involved. Choices like, I'm going to keep this. I'm going to do this and not that. I'm going to buy this and an extra.

[00:01:26] I'm going to store this here because I don't know where else to put it. I'm going to work overtime. I'm going to live in this town, hang out with these people, spend my time doing this activity. You get it. Everything is a choice. The Costs of Our Choices

[00:01:44] It gets easier to make a choice when we step back to see the cost of our choice. Opportunity cost. Our yes costs something because when we say yes to one thing, we say no to another thing.

[00:01:57] For instance, when we say yes to working overtime, we say no to family time. When we say yes to a big move, we say no to the life we've been living in the current town. When we say yes to waffles, well, we say no to an unsatisfying brunch, don't we? What will your yes be?

[00:02:17] For my family, our first step towards simpler living was having a conversation to identify what we wanted to be saying yes to. Full disclosure, it began as me cornering my husband in the kitchen, spewing on him about some books I'd been reading, and winking at him till he sat at the table because I was creeping him out a little bit.

[00:02:35] So, we sat and wrote down our hopes and dreams for ourselves and our family life, which I know sounds like something you do in a school that gives you a spirit animal instead of a letter grade, but science told Google who told me that it is a tremendous exercise to write things down. You're more likely to end up with more insight on paper than you thought was in your head, and you're way more likely to follow through. Yay, science!

[00:03:03] How to uncover the things to say yes to. We all need to take the time to write more, so why not start with this little exercise? You can ask things like, What makes me feel alive? What relaxes me? What inspires me? What memories do I want my kids to have of their childhood? What goals do I have for myself this year? What goals do I have for my marriage? What does my ideal day look like?

[00:03:32] All of these things help you determine what you should be saying yes and no to. And really, it is more than how we spend our time. It's how we spend our money, the places we shop, words we use, the relationships we invest in, the food we eat, how we convey ourselves. I mean, this stuff gets deep when you let it stew. You are different. Own it. Choosing a simpler life looks a lot of different ways.

[00:03:58] Some people want to get rid of all their belongings and backpack Europe with their kids. Some people want a sweet little apartment in the city and buzz with the energy and resources all around them. Some people, yours truly, wants a little spot of land to try to grow some food while the kids run around. Playing the most good-natured game of tag with each other. Belly laughing and running through the sprinkler water, which is always lukewarm. Eating popsicles that never drip.

[00:04:24] And little birds lift my laundry up to the clothesline while I cheerily pin it on. Or, hashtag real life, it includes some things like gardening attempts, friends over for barbecues, pushing our kids on swings between telling them not to pee in front of the neighbors. Saying no to the good so you can say yes to the great. The more we're saying no to all the extra stuff that has been taking up our time, and now working up the energy to say yes to all the things we say we want,

[00:04:53] we're enjoying our life way more. Don't let me mislead you here. It's not perfect or less full or tidier. But it is simpler because we are working on choosing it to be on purpose. It's my hope for you and your family that you can start thinking about what you want out of parenthood, marriage, life, work, friendships. As you think about these things, you will see ways to steer your mindsets and your actions.

[00:05:23] You will see that you can forget what society or family tell you to be and do, and you do you. That is how you were made. You just listened to the post titled, How to Define Simple Living for Your Family, by Shauna Scaife of simpleonpurpose.ca

[00:06:06] And thanks so much to Shauna for this great family post. Definitely something that can be of use though, even if you don't have children or a family. I love this idea of getting clear about what our definite yeses versus our definite noes are in life and acting accordingly. But one asterisk I always add to this type of advice and encourage you all to consider is what's behind each of our yeses and noes. Because it's worth your time to explore them a bit beyond the gut reaction.

[00:06:36] So if this is a yes for me, if this is such a yes, then why? Is it coming from a good place? Or is it maybe more reactive and maybe not fulfilling my truest values? Am I maybe experiencing a fleeting emotion? Or have I felt this way for a long time? Is this something I could see myself regretting in five years? How does this affect other people that are involved?

[00:06:59] So, you know, these types of questions and more like them can help us gain clarity on what's really driving our decisions. And while asking them, you know, may not provide all the information we need to make a choice that is indisputably right for us, they can give us a little more confidence and a little more self-awareness. That's it for me though, everyone. We have reached the end, but I am so thankful to have had you here today. And I hope you come back again tomorrow for another parenting post.

[00:07:27] That'll be in the Friday show where your optimal life awaits.