2598: 12 Life Skills We Want For Our Children Before They Leave Home by Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist

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[00:00:54] This is Optimal Relationships Daily. 12 Life Skills We Want for Our Children Before They Leave Home by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com. Quote, There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other wings. End quote.

[00:01:16] My son Salem recently graduated high school and is heading off to college next month. It's hard to believe that this is the same young man who sat down with me during a snow day 10 years ago to write another article from my site, An Eight-Year-Old's Guide to Buying Good Toys.

[00:01:31] But indeed, he has grown into a fine young man. At the beginning of his senior year of high school, my wife sat down and wrote out 12 life skills that she wanted to make sure our son knew before leaving home. Some of the skills he had already picked up, but others we decided to intentionally teach over the last year. I thought it might be helpful to share our list with you. So here it is. 12 Life Skills We Want for Our Kids Before They Leave Home Number 1. Cooking

[00:02:00] It isn't particularly important that our son knows how to properly prepare baked Alaska for his next dinner party, although it is my daughter's favorite dessert. But we did want to make sure he knew how to cook, grill, and even bake some simple meals for himself. Man cannot live on fast food alone. Number 2. Cleaning Salem has had plenty of experience vacuuming, dusting, tidying, cleaning mirrors, and emptying trash over the years of growing up.

[00:02:27] But we also wanted to make sure he knew how to clean other areas of home that are less routine. Toilets, stovetops, ceiling fans as an example. Knowing that her son knew how to clean a bathroom from top to bottom was of special importance to Kim. Number 3. Yard Work Mowing, trimming, planting, pruning, even making sure he knows how to call the utility company hotline before digging. Number 4. Laundry Kim has always handled the laundry in our home, or at least for as long as I can remember.

[00:02:57] She's been very intentional, especially this year, about showing Salem how to launder not just his own clothes, but the clothes of anyone in his future home. Number 5. Iron Ironing has always been my gig. Someone showed me how to properly iron in college, and I've been hooked ever since. So we wanted to show the how and why of not living life in wrinkly clothes. Number 6. Emergency car repairs

[00:03:23] Mechanics is not my thing. But emergency car repairs, those things that can happen on the side of the road away from help, are essential to know. How to jumpstart a dead battery, how to change a tire, how to read dashboard warning lights, and what to do in a collision. If we didn't live in Phoenix, I would also add how to drive in the snow and ice, and what to do if your car gets stuck. Number 7. Simple home repairs

[00:03:47] Home repair is also not a skill in my repertoire. Never in my life have I considered removing a wall to open up a room. But there are a few simple home repairs that I believe my son and daughter should be able to accomplish in their future home. This is not an exhaustive list, but among the specific repairs, how to unclog a drain, replace light fixtures, shut off water, replace a garbage disposal, reset breakers, hang decorations, and fix a leaky sink. Number 8. Painting

[00:04:18] There are very few things that refresh a home quicker and less expensively than painting the walls. And it's one of the only home improvements we've made in every new home we've moved into. So we put it on the list to make sure our kids know how to do it well. Number 9. Personal finance There are technical skills to teach. How to write a check, how to balance a checkbook, how a credit card works, how compound interest works, etc.

[00:04:44] But there are also life skills and worldviews to consider when it comes to personal finance. Opportunity cost, why to budget, living below your means, giving, saving, and the life-giving benefits of buying only what you need. Number 10. Shopping Related to personal finance, how to shop wisely is an essential ingredient. It's important to know not just what to buy, but how to buy. So Kim put this on the life skills list, and I'm glad she thought to include it.

[00:05:13] How to shop for groceries, how to shop for clothes, and how to shop for essentials. Number 11. Dating Thinking primarily of my son as he graduates high school, I want to know if I've taught him how to be a gentleman in both courtship and a dating relationship. I also want him to know what relational qualities are important to develop and what qualities to look for in a spouse. Number 12. Faith

[00:05:37] I don't write much about my faith here on this blog, but my Christian faith has and will continue to be important to me. And I want it to be important to my kids. So we were sure to add to our list not just an understanding of our faith, but also the life skills for them to pursue it on their own. I don't necessarily publish this list because I think it's the exact list you need for your own family, but I do think it's important that we are intentional as parents, not just in providing a loving home for our children,

[00:06:05] but also in preparing them for life on their own. Our goal is to launch him into adulthood prepared and an asset to society. This is the list of the 12 life skills we've been working off of for the last year as our son prepares to leave home. And I encourage you to create your own or steal ours. You just listened to the post titled 12 life skills we want for our children before they leave home by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com

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[00:07:05] And thanks so much to Joshua and Kim for writing up that list and for allowing us to share it. I would definitely, definitely be lying if I said I am an expert in everything he mentioned. So I'm sure his son is doing just fine. And if I had to add one thing to this list in typical Greg fashion, it would probably be self-awareness or knowing how to process emotions somewhere in there. It's really easy to let skills like these fall by the wayside.

[00:07:34] But the world runs on feelings. That's something we often forget. And being that they underpin all of our actions, learning how to recognize them and manage them is critical. And it doesn't have to be anything extreme, you know, but teaching children how to say, I'm feeling this way and being able to name certain feelings and emotions rather than suppressing them is so important. If you can help them to first establish the confidence to do that, as well as when to ask those questions,

[00:08:04] you might then give them some follow-up questions to ask, such as, you know, why am I feeling this way? Am I in control of this situation? How can I be patient with these feelings and let myself have them? What's an appropriate course of action to take? Etc. These types of questions really sharpen our ability to interact with ourselves and others, which again is intangible, but it gets more and more important as life goes on. So take that with you, parents.

[00:08:32] And look, if no one ever taught this to you, there's no shame in trying to improve this within yourself too. As a matter of fact, it could be a great thing to do alongside your children. Time to get going though. So I hope you enjoyed this one and I hope you will come back with me tomorrow where I will have another post for you. That's where your optimal life awaits.